New poster here. We got pregnant with Baby #1 after 2 months of trying naturally when I was 36. Healthy pregnancy and delivery and healthy baby. Now I'm 38 and it's been almost a year of trying naturally with OPKs, perfect timing, Pre-Seed, etc. and no pregnancy. I've had my Day 3 bloodwork but have not worked up the inner courage to start the IVF journey. I have been diagnosed with decreased ovarian reserve--I have very low AMH and high FSH. It really sucks and I am not sure how we will proceed. I never thought we'd be down this road of secondary infertility when we got pregnant so easily the first time.

I'm on month 10 for #2 (12 months for #1) - we've gotten all the testing, and there isn't anything necessarily "wrong." My cycles are longer than other women's, so I have less chances of getting pregnant, but once I do ovulate, everything is great. And DH is above average on sperm front. So even if you test, there may not be anything wrong - to be honest, I don't know what is easier. I'd love there to be a quick thing that could be fixed by medication, but that isn't the case for us. So don't rule that out either.

Anyway, best of luck - do what you have to do. This whole thing is such a mind-bender, and I feel similar to you - maybe that first baby was just this miracle child, and we're doomed to secondary infertility forever :/ At other points I'm more optimistic, but of course it's just so so hard.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's not really a question of fertile couple. Usually one person has the problem.

Yes I get that, but TTC is stressful enough without pointing blame. Obviously it's usually one person, and I can only imagine the emotional burden that person feels. If it were me I think I'd feel broken or not good enough. I'd fear my husband would feel less of a man and have performance anxiety (an issue from time to time).

If we can just conceive on our own one more time, we'll never have to know why it took so long and we can live blissfully unaware! Is it weird to think like that?

You know yourself best, but I think 1) you may feel better and less stressed (as DH and I did) testing and figuring out what the issue was so you can deal, and 2) if there IS a problem, not finding out about it won't help you conceive faster. We had a sperm issue but conceived easily with some help and are now expecting our second kid.

Anonymous wrote:It's not really a question of fertile couple. Usually one person has the problem.

Yes I get that, but TTC is stressful enough without pointing blame. Obviously it's usually one person, and I can only imagine the emotional burden that person feels. If it were me I think I'd feel broken or not good enough. I'd fear my husband would feel less of a man and have performance anxiety (an issue from time to time).

If we can just conceive on our own one more time, we'll never have to know why it took so long and we can live blissfully unaware! Is it weird to think like that?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Has your husband gotten tested?

Neither of us has had any testing. I so hope we don't have to go down that road.

Just get the sperm tested first. It's really easy to do.

+1

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Has your husband gotten tested?

Neither of us has had any testing. I so hope we don't have to go down that road.

Just get the sperm tested first. It's really easy to do.

It's not really a question of fertile couple. Usually one person has the problem.

Anonymous wrote:Has your husband gotten tested?

Neither of us has had any testing. I so hope we don't have to go down that road.

Has your husband gotten tested?

Anonymous wrote:OP, you should see an RE. The 1 year suggestion is basically for people who have no idea what they are doing. I had trouble too, and it took me 2 years for #1 and 15 months for #2!with IVF finally working.
I didn't know this at the time, but of my friend who didn't have trouble, they got pregnant within the first 2 or three months.

What turned out to be your issue? Just unexplained secondary fertility or...? It took me almost a year to conceive my first and going on 8 months trying for my second and I wonder if I had a miracle baby and didn't even realize it. Readying myself for the RE but just wondering what my issues might be.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Fertility declines with age. What makes you think at 33 you would conceive faster than you did at 31? It's completely illogical...

Actually, for some people they have an easier time conceiving the second time around.

"Doctors aren't sure why the second conception was easier, but they suspect that it had less to do with the IVF treatment than with the pregnancy itself. Some of their theories:

-Fallopian-tube adhesions (strands of scar tissue that can hinder egg entrance into the tubes) tear as the uterus grows, facilitating future conceptions.
-Pregnancy inhibits hormones that contribute to endometriosis, a condition that can lead to infertility.
-The emotional stress of trying to get pregnant may impede women and men's ability to conceive."

http://www.parenting.com/article/natural-fertility

This is not what the article says. it says IF YOU USED IVF for #1 you may not need IVF for #2 (18% of former IVFers in the study conceived 2nd one naturally, meaning the other 82% either needed IVF or failed altogether to have a 2nd child). Which is not the same as saying if you have 1 kid you will conceive the 2nd one faster. It also says that those 33 and younger should give it 2 years before going with ART, while any older - get help ASAP.

The study was on IVF patients, that doesn't mean the findings only apply to them! The study was also only on Japanese patients so that must not be at all relevant eh? I'm sure OP appreciates other's commiseration far more than your negativity.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Fertility declines with age. What makes you think at 33 you would conceive faster than you did at 31? It's completely illogical...

Actually, for some people they have an easier time conceiving the second time around.

"Doctors aren't sure why the second conception was easier, but they suspect that it had less to do with the IVF treatment than with the pregnancy itself. Some of their theories:

-Fallopian-tube adhesions (strands of scar tissue that can hinder egg entrance into the tubes) tear as the uterus grows, facilitating future conceptions.
-Pregnancy inhibits hormones that contribute to endometriosis, a condition that can lead to infertility.
-The emotional stress of trying to get pregnant may impede women and men's ability to conceive."

http://www.parenting.com/article/natural-fertility

This is not what the article says. it says IF YOU USED IVF for #1 you may not need IVF for #2 (18% of former IVFers in the study conceived 2nd one naturally, meaning the other 82% either needed IVF or failed altogether to have a 2nd child). Which is not the same as saying if you have 1 kid you will conceive the 2nd one faster. It also says that those 33 and younger should give it 2 years before going with ART, while any older - get help ASAP.

Anonymous wrote:Fertility declines with age. What makes you think at 33 you would conceive faster than you did at 31? It's completely illogical...

Actually, for some people they have an easier time conceiving the second time around.

"Doctors aren't sure why the second conception was easier, but they suspect that it had less to do with the IVF treatment than with the pregnancy itself. Some of their theories:

-Fallopian-tube adhesions (strands of scar tissue that can hinder egg entrance into the tubes) tear as the uterus grows, facilitating future conceptions.
-Pregnancy inhibits hormones that contribute to endometriosis, a condition that can lead to infertility.
-The emotional stress of trying to get pregnant may impede women and men's ability to conceive."

http://www.parenting.com/article/natural-fertility