Anonymous
12/03/2015 14:15
Subject: Re:Do you accept financial help from your family?
Anonymous wrote:OP here.
Thank you for your responses. I ask because I recently helped out my college aged sister with a dog sitting gig so that she could pocket the cash. She had 2 dog sitting gigs and I offered to help out with one but it ended up being just me taking care of the dog. The total amounted to only $200.00 and I don't really need it but my sister does since she is paying for her tuition herself. She refuses to take the money saying she can't take money for work she did not do. I'm baffled and offended. I WANTED to help her out and I do not need the money. Why is she being SO weird about it?
There's nothing weird about it. You should be proud of your sister. She actually sounds like an awesome young woman. I'm sure you can think of a way to use the $200, and do not give it back to her disguised as a gift that is patronizing and disrespectful.
Anonymous
12/03/2015 14:11
Subject: Do you accept financial help from your family?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:I'm in my 40's. No, I would never accept financial help from my family. I can support myself. I honestly can't fathom and have SO little respect for the posters above who are adults and who have their parents subsidizing their lifestyles. Gross.
Don't you get the fact that maybe the parents want to give the money? Especially while they are able to see the positive effect it has on their children and grandchildren while they are still alive. My parents are both passed now but it gave them real pleasure to slip me the occasional check for "big birthdays" and anniversaries. And I appreciated the gestures - the money was given and received with more love, and meant more to me, than the funds I got from the lawyers when their estate was wound up after they passed. My parents were at least financially comfortable and there were no strings attached to the gifts. Nor was it a case of subsidizing my lifestyle - more a case of them enjoying seeing and hearing of the results of their generosity. I fully intend to do the same for my children.
Sorry PP if generosity makes you queasy - to some of us it is an expression of thoughtfulness, care and doing the best we can for our loved ones.
Phooey. Not the PP you are responding to but only immature, irresponsible sponge off their parents
A TRUE emergency, e.g. medical, house burns down, is one thing, living beyond your means and needing help paying your credit card bills is quite another.
Anonymous
12/03/2015 13:32
Subject: Do you accept financial help from your family?
Anonymous wrote:My family is not in a position to help us out, but my husband's family does. When we got married they presented him with a 2 million dollar trust. They give us generous Christmas presents and have offered to pay for private school tuition for our kids. They have hundreds of millions of dollars and have the stance that it's all going to end up being distributed to their children anyway.
There is a lot that we refuse from them, too... and we use some of the money to pay it forward to help my in-need family members. Otherwise we leave it invested and live off of our own earnings.
Wow. so you married rich?
Anonymous
12/03/2015 13:29
Subject: Do you accept financial help from your family?
My family is not in a position to help us out, but my husband's family does. When we got married they presented him with a 2 million dollar trust. They give us generous Christmas presents and have offered to pay for private school tuition for our kids. They have hundreds of millions of dollars and have the stance that it's all going to end up being distributed to their children anyway.
There is a lot that we refuse from them, too... and we use some of the money to pay it forward to help my in-need family members. Otherwise we leave it invested and live off of our own earnings.
There is a lot that we refuse from them, too... and we use some of the money to pay it forward to help my in-need family members. Otherwise we leave it invested and live off of our own earnings.
Anonymous
12/03/2015 12:32
Subject: Re:Do you accept financial help from your family?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:OP here.
Thank you for your responses. I ask because I recently helped out my college aged sister with a dog sitting gig so that she could pocket the cash. She had 2 dog sitting gigs and I offered to help out with one but it ended up being just me taking care of the dog. The total amounted to only $200.00 and I don't really need it but my sister does since she is paying for her tuition herself. She refuses to take the money saying she can't take money for work she did not do. I'm baffled and offended. I WANTED to help her out and I do not need the money. Why is she being SO weird about it?
Some people value independence and self-sufficiency. It's not weird at all. I'd never take money from my parents. Kudos to your sister for being so independent. There is nothing to take offense about.
Get your sister a lovely $200 gift sometime if you want to, but don't give her the cash she didn't earn. That's charity. She doesn't want or need your charity.
get her a $200 gift card for the holidays. problem solved.
Anonymous
12/03/2015 12:17
Subject: Do you accept financial help from your family?
Anonymous wrote:I'm in my 40's. No, I would never accept financial help from my family. I can support myself. I honestly can't fathom and have SO little respect for the posters above who are adults and who have their parents subsidizing their lifestyles. Gross.
And this is a perfect example of someone who will never get it. You just miss the point completely. As long as my children are functioning members of society, do good in the world, help themselves and others, etc, I see no reason why I shouldn't help make their lives easier financially if I can. I just don't. Being helped financially by family (or anyone! Do SAHMs get the same disrespect that adult children of wealthy parents do?) does not render one a worthless leech.
Anonymous
12/03/2015 12:11
Subject: Do you accept financial help from your family?
Anonymous wrote:I'm in my 40's. No, I would never accept financial help from my family. I can support myself. I honestly can't fathom and have SO little respect for the posters above who are adults and who have their parents subsidizing their lifestyles. Gross.
Don't you get the fact that maybe the parents want to give the money? Especially while they are able to see the positive effect it has on their children and grandchildren while they are still alive. My parents are both passed now but it gave them real pleasure to slip me the occasional check for "big birthdays" and anniversaries. And I appreciated the gestures - the money was given and received with more love, and meant more to me, than the funds I got from the lawyers when their estate was wound up after they passed. My parents were at least financially comfortable and there were no strings attached to the gifts. Nor was it a case of subsidizing my lifestyle - more a case of them enjoying seeing and hearing of the results of their generosity. I fully intend to do the same for my children.
Sorry PP if generosity makes you queasy - to some of us it is an expression of thoughtfulness, care and doing the best we can for our loved ones.
Anonymous
12/03/2015 11:32
Subject: Re:Do you accept financial help from your family?
No.
Anonymous
12/03/2015 11:22
Subject: Do you accept financial help from your family?
I'm in my 40's. No, I would never accept financial help from my family. I can support myself. I honestly can't fathom and have SO little respect for the posters above who are adults and who have their parents subsidizing their lifestyles. Gross.
Anonymous
12/03/2015 11:20
Subject: Re:Do you accept financial help from your family?
Anonymous wrote:OP here.
Thank you for your responses. I ask because I recently helped out my college aged sister with a dog sitting gig so that she could pocket the cash. She had 2 dog sitting gigs and I offered to help out with one but it ended up being just me taking care of the dog. The total amounted to only $200.00 and I don't really need it but my sister does since she is paying for her tuition herself. She refuses to take the money saying she can't take money for work she did not do. I'm baffled and offended. I WANTED to help her out and I do not need the money. Why is she being SO weird about it?
Some people value independence and self-sufficiency. It's not weird at all. I'd never take money from my parents. Kudos to your sister for being so independent. There is nothing to take offense about.
Get your sister a lovely $200 gift sometime if you want to, but don't give her the cash she didn't earn. That's charity. She doesn't want or need your charity.
Anonymous
12/03/2015 10:54
Subject: Re:Do you accept financial help from your family?
OP here.
Thank you for your responses. I ask because I recently helped out my college aged sister with a dog sitting gig so that she could pocket the cash. She had 2 dog sitting gigs and I offered to help out with one but it ended up being just me taking care of the dog. The total amounted to only $200.00 and I don't really need it but my sister does since she is paying for her tuition herself. She refuses to take the money saying she can't take money for work she did not do. I'm baffled and offended. I WANTED to help her out and I do not need the money. Why is she being SO weird about it?
Thank you for your responses. I ask because I recently helped out my college aged sister with a dog sitting gig so that she could pocket the cash. She had 2 dog sitting gigs and I offered to help out with one but it ended up being just me taking care of the dog. The total amounted to only $200.00 and I don't really need it but my sister does since she is paying for her tuition herself. She refuses to take the money saying she can't take money for work she did not do. I'm baffled and offended. I WANTED to help her out and I do not need the money. Why is she being SO weird about it?
Anonymous
12/03/2015 10:51
Subject: Do you accept financial help from your family?
No, giving cash is not part of my family culture. They did pay for college (not grad school) and contribute a few grand to my wedding.
But of course I am cognizant that having them as a backstop in an emergency, and not needing to support them, are enormous advantages in life. That's a much bigger deal than having them pay for stuff.
But of course I am cognizant that having them as a backstop in an emergency, and not needing to support them, are enormous advantages in life. That's a much bigger deal than having them pay for stuff.
Anonymous
12/03/2015 10:46
Subject: Do you accept financial help from your family?
My parents have since passed away, but I did when they were alive. My mom bought our house and we paid her a mortgage (officially documented with inter-family loan rates) to save on paying interest to the bank. I'm sure she would have paid for schooling for our kids had she lived that long (and the inheritance from her will now pay for it). She also helped with my husband's law school tuition.
If your parents are wealthy and want to help you without strings (I know some people are incapable of imagining these relationships), and that money can improve your quality of life and your children's lives, not taking it seems silly to me. It hasn't affected my work ethic at all - I now have a significant net worth from the inheritance and continue to work, send kids to public school, don't spend excessively, etc.
If your parents are wealthy and want to help you without strings (I know some people are incapable of imagining these relationships), and that money can improve your quality of life and your children's lives, not taking it seems silly to me. It hasn't affected my work ethic at all - I now have a significant net worth from the inheritance and continue to work, send kids to public school, don't spend excessively, etc.
Anonymous
12/03/2015 10:45
Subject: Do you accept financial help from your family?
I would if we needed the money (medical emergency, etc.). But my parents aren't wealthy, so I would feel bad taking money from them just to pay for things that weren't 100 percent necessary. They do contribute to our kids' 529s.
Anonymous
12/03/2015 10:41
Subject: Re:Do you accept financial help from your family?
My parents gave paid my rent ($200/month) when I was in college (1986-1990) and gave me $20/week for food.
Mom mom offered me $5K last year and I told her I would call her if I needed it.
Mom mom offered me $5K last year and I told her I would call her if I needed it.