We moved away from my family for my dh's job. I regret it. My grandmother died and we were not there for her. It makes me very sad. Spending one week a year with your family is not the same as seeing them on a regular basis. I would go back and time and change this if I could.

We moved to be closer to family and really regret it! I think 2-3 hours away would be perfect. Close enough for quick weekend visits, far enough that you don't see each other regularly.

We are 14 driving hours away. It's perfect!

2-4 hours was the sweet spot. I'm now 5+ hours away with the crazy DC traffic and the elderly medical issues are horrible to deal with from this far away.

My parents moved far away from their parents.
I moved far away from mine.
I fully expect my children to move far away from me.

It's not just avoiding the crazy, it's also a function of economic opportunity.

There's a fine balance between wanting to move far away from family for whatever reason and then doing one's best to support them in their old age.

We are moving away from my extended family. I have lived away from them before, and found I was much happier and that our relationships were more tolerable.

My family has good intentions, but they have a very rigid outlook on the world and tend to be judgmental and negative, convinced their way of doing things is the only way. I find their influence to be a bit suffocating, so I am somewhat relieved to have more distance.

Anonymous wrote:Every time I go home for Thanksgiving (I've been away 30 years) ... I am relieved I don't live in the same city as my family. While I missed having them around when my child grew up, I am pleased I didn't have to deal w/ the family dramas over the years.

It works until you have to deal with their medical issues from afar.

I wish I wasn't quite so far - 8 hour drive, but yes. Maybe not quite as much now as my parent's are getting older but we really butted heads in my 20s and 30s. I think my DH getting away from his family was the bigger thing. I am still surprised he moved, he loves his home town and is the only family member to leave it (its a big city and he grew up downtown), but pretty much his whole family are functional alcoholics, who chalk it up to "being Irish." So glad he left that and it is exhausting visiting as much as I like them.

Anonymous wrote:Behold your future- will these very same messages be posted by your children in 20/30 years?

What goes around comes around.

I hate this poster. My horrible, abusive parents treated me like garbage and now I avoid them like the plague. I have a nice, cordial, distant relationship with them. When we visit, it has to be for less than three days.

5,000 miles was too far--I missed them. But I was young.

2.5-3 hour drive was the golden distance. Close enough for a dinner or special event every month or so, but far enough away to be inconvenient. Bonus points when I lived in DC, because they hated the traffic and I think they saw my apartment maybe once in 5 years (but we still saw each other regularly).

1 hour drive is too close. They are in my city often for other family things and I see them waaaay too often. They have stopped by unannounced. No.

They've discussed moving here and I am scared shitless.

Yep. So glad I did.

Anonymous wrote:Every time i go back, I think "3 days will be plenty."

And every time I am dying to leave after two.

OMG THIS

my husband is overjoyed to not see his family.

At one point, I wished we were closer to my ILs. They are nice people and I like the extended family nearby.

Then my idiot BIL made horrible life choices and their enabling ways made for a horrible situation that makes visiting them torture.

And it does cost a good deal to get there, so we must stay a week. Which means all vacation time has to be spent being part of the chaos.

Oh, and my FIL has cancer and my BIL will never get out here, so this is pretty much going to be the way things are for...a long time.

Yes, but I do have to say that I am happier that I am close to them now (20 mins. away) then when I was living 3,000 miles away.