Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Oh, OP, my heart just aches for you. I think you really need to take this offer and get out, because this is not healthy for you. As to how to split the money, my first question is whether the monthly loan payment has been coming out of profits before anyone gets paid, or if you've been paying it out of your own pocket and then getting only $2k back as partial reimbursement? If it's the latter, the very first thing that has to be done with the profit is to reimburse you (with interest) for everything you've paid out for the clinic. Out of whatever's left, it would be completely within your right to keep it all. After all, you're the one who took the legal and financial risk of owning it (no matter how your father may paint it as him having done you a favor by finding this opportunity, you did him a huge favor by buying the clinics and keeping him employed all this time). If you would like to give him something, give him $60k. That would be approximately 6 months severance, so plenty to support him while he finds a new job.

Then, please take the remaining profit and use it to pay for a therapist for yourself to work on this. As much as you may feel you've largely moved past your abusive history, if you'd truly healed from it you wouldn't have allowed him to abuse you again in this matter (which is what he's doing). Abuse by your parents is incredibly difficult to recover from, and a skilled therapist can do wonders for helping you establish a healthy sense of self.

The $8k payments have been coming out as an expense of the clinics, they have paid that payment monthly. Part of the problem is that he really does have very few skills, doesn't have a high school diploma, and was in a really rough point a few years ago, and I feel like I am responsible for keeping him employed or he may be destitute. The last time that happened he called me in the middle of the night threatening to kill himself. Thank you so much for your insight and kind words.

Anonymous wrote:Oh, OP, my heart just aches for you. I think you really need to take this offer and get out, because this is not healthy for you. As to how to split the money, my first question is whether the monthly loan payment has been coming out of profits before anyone gets paid, or if you've been paying it out of your own pocket and then getting only $2k back as partial reimbursement? If it's the latter, the very first thing that has to be done with the profit is to reimburse you (with interest) for everything you've paid out for the clinic. Out of whatever's left, it would be completely within your right to keep it all. After all, you're the one who took the legal and financial risk of owning it (no matter how your father may paint it as him having done you a favor by finding this opportunity, you did him a huge favor by buying the clinics and keeping him employed all this time). If you would like to give him something, give him $60k. That would be approximately 6 months severance, so plenty to support him while he finds a new job.

Then, please take the remaining profit and use it to pay for a therapist for yourself to work on this. As much as you may feel you've largely moved past your abusive history, if you'd truly healed from it you wouldn't have allowed him to abuse you again in this matter (which is what he's doing). Abuse by your parents is incredibly difficult to recover from, and a skilled therapist can do wonders for helping you establish a healthy sense of self.

Anonymous wrote:So, I am in a pretty complicated situation with my dad, I know I really shouldn't have gotten myself into this situation to begin with, but that is done and there is nothing I can do about that.

Last year, my dad came to me asking me to purchase two medical clinics. He was managing the clinics and the owner was moving to California and selling them, they are located out of state. My dad could not purchase them directly because he cannot be a licensed owner due to legal troubles and felonies in his past. I agreed to purchase them, no one put any money up front, the owner is taking $8k payments per month (purchase price of $400k, owe about $300k now). I am on all legal paperwork, I am the sole owner, I am on all licensing, insurance, etc. I am also an attorney and do a significant amount of the legal work for the clinics, contracts, employment agreements, non-competes, etc. I spend maybe 10 hours a week on work for the clinics. I have tried to nail down the split of profit with my dad, but he refuses to put anything in writing and now that I am trying to nail him down on a number, he keeps lowering my "portion."

Basically, he has been taking all the profits and giving me $2k/month. I found out recently he has been taking $10-$20k/month. This month I made him allot for all monies and he took $15,000 and I took $4,500. He runs the day to day operation of the clinics, but really is not very good at is, is very abrasive to staff, causes high staff turnover, etc. He went to Europe for a month, still took $20,000k and no one missed him. He is also paying his wife a salary of $6k/month as a receptionist. I should also note that he was appealing the state board, who said he could not work in the clinics at all because of his background, and it appears that he will lose his appeal. If this happens, he will be totally unable to work in any capacity at the clinics, but he still intends on taking his full monthly salary, even if he is not working.

For context, he was very abusive, physically and mentally, for most of my childhood. While I feel I have mostly moved past this, he is still very manipulative and has some unhealthy mental control on me, I recognize this and am trying to work through it. He tells me that I am greedy and only love money, and I am taking too much money from the clinics, etc etc etc.

At this point, he said that I am entitled to $2k/month as salary, and he takes $8k/month salary. Then on any profits over and above this, I get 25% and he gets 75%.

We have an offer to buy the clinics for $1.5 million, after real estate fees and paying off the first owner, we would have about $1mil remaining, after taxes more like $800k. If we sell, he insists that he will receive 75% and I would receive 25%. Does this seem fair? Am I being unreasonable?

What should I do? My husband wants me to go down there, put in a reasonably priced manager, kick him out (he has no legal right to the clinics) and take all of the profits. I think it is too difficult to try and manage a clinic from 1500 miles away, and because it is mostly a cash clinic, I don't know who I could really trust.

If it matters at all, my husband and I have a very normal life, we make about $175k a year apart from the clinics, we have 4 kids, and while we do okay, we are not wealthy, and have a lot of expenses to pay (including $200k in student loans). We live a very modest pretty quiet life, no extravagant vacations or cars.

He has a 26 year old Russian wife who has a 5 year old son, they go on trips to Europe, take expensive vacations, drive expensive cars, etc. He did not support me financially for most of my life, I left home when I was 13 due to the abuse.

Thanks for taking the time to read and offer insight.

Anonymous wrote:Yes, he is taking advantage of you. No, the 25/75 split is not fair.

Sell it, OP. Sell it ASAP. Sell it before you get in some kind of huge legal trouble for things your father should not be doing in the clinic.

Sell it to disentangle yourself from a toxic person who does not have your best interest at heart.

Sell it to give yourself peace and space to earn honest money for your own family.

I would sell it and give him whatever you think is fair. Honestly, for what he has essentially stolen from you all this time, I think NOTHING is fair. But give him whatever will give you peace. If it gives you peace to give him 100% and be free of this, give that to him.

Don't expect him to be happy with whatever you give him. If you give him 100%, he will still be mad at you for selling his cash cow. YOU CAN NEVER MAKE HIM HAPPY. He will always blame his unhappiness on you.

It is not your fault. IT IS NOT YOUR FAULT.

Please let yourself be free of this terrible, toxic situation and free of as much contact with your dad as possible. If you can get out of this deal without losing more time and any money, you will be well free of it at ANY price.