Anonymous
Post 11/28/2015 19:44     Subject: Overheard mother in law insult my family
Anonymous wrote:So hubby called his mom on speakerphone while we were driving in the car. They mostly made small talk and at the end she asked about thanksgiving and how my " loser brother" was doing. Obviously she didn't know she was on speakerphone, but this shocked and upset me as my brother hasn't done anything to her. It also made me upset my husband did not tell her off for using that terminology.

My brother has had a few struggles in life for sure, but he is a nice guy, loves my husband and my sons and is good to us. I felt hurt that she was basically judging him when she had no place to do so.

I don't really know what to do about this situation as it deeply upsets me . She has insulted my mother as well in previous years and my husband doesn't do anything about it. Am I making too big a deal of this?


Grow up, OP. She doesn't have any use for any of you. Accept and moved on.
Anonymous
Post 11/28/2015 19:36     Subject: Overheard mother in law insult my family
Anonymous wrote:It sounds like she was repeating a past conversation with DH. I'm guessing he's the one who thinks your brother is a loser and at some point, vented to his mom about it.

Ask DH what that was about. Get an answer. Let it go.


+1. Your DH likely coined the phrase. Just let it go.
Anonymous
Post 11/28/2015 19:22     Subject: Overheard mother in law insult my family
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:So you never ever say anything critical about the other side of your family?
MMkay.


You're an asshole pp. There is a huge difference between complaining about your MIL or SIL to your friend and complaining about them to your mom.


I honestly do not see the difference. Why is it worse to say something to my mom than it is to say something to my friend?
Anonymous
Post 11/28/2015 19:19     Subject: Overheard mother in law insult my family
Anonymous wrote:It sounds like she was repeating a past conversation with DH. I'm guessing he's the one who thinks your brother is a loser and at some point, vented to his mom about it.

Ask DH what that was about. Get an answer. Let it go.


+1
Anonymous
Post 11/28/2015 18:59     Subject: Overheard mother in law insult my family
Another person who thinks MIL was just echoing something your DH said. She doesn't have a relationship with him.
Anonymous
Post 11/28/2015 18:19     Subject: Overheard mother in law insult my family
Anonymous wrote:So you never ever say anything critical about the other side of your family?
MMkay.


You're an asshole pp. There is a huge difference between complaining about your MIL or SIL to your friend and complaining about them to your mom.
Anonymous
Post 11/28/2015 18:13     Subject: Overheard mother in law insult my family
It sounds like she was repeating a past conversation with DH. I'm guessing he's the one who thinks your brother is a loser and at some point, vented to his mom about it.

Ask DH what that was about. Get an answer. Let it go.
Anonymous
Post 11/28/2015 17:46     Subject: Overheard mother in law insult my family
I'd be mad at my husband because he clearly has no problem with such disrespect aimed at your brother. She would never make such a comment without his tacit approval. Your MIL can be judgemental about your brother-- it's almost impossible to control one's feelings or judgement about something-- but using the word loser is just shitty and mean.
Anonymous
Post 11/28/2015 17:38     Subject: Overheard mother in law insult my family
Revenge is a dish best served cold, OP.

She doesn't know you know she said this (via first hand knowledge). Use it later.
Anonymous
Post 11/28/2015 17:37     Subject: Overheard mother in law insult my family
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:That wasn't nice of her. But your husband should have told her she was on speakerphone.


+1

Or you! "Hey, Norma, you're on speaker! John's doing great, thanks for asking!"


+1

Anonymous
Post 11/28/2015 17:10     Subject: Overheard mother in law insult my family
You need to talk directly to MIL. She deserves a chance to apologize and get a clean slate. Resentment will build over something that can be aapddressed.
Anonymous
Post 11/28/2015 16:56     Subject: Re:Overheard mother in law insult my family
Who puts people on the speakerphone without telling the other party first?! The real loser is your DH, imho
Anonymous
Post 11/28/2015 16:52     Subject: Overheard mother in law insult my family
OP, no offense, but just because your brother loves you and your family doesn't mean he isn't a loser. What are his few struggles? Are you upset about this because it hold a kernel of truth?
Anonymous
Post 11/28/2015 16:46     Subject: Overheard mother in law insult my family
They've had this convo before. I'd be hurt and address the issue of whether he said it before with DH but let the issue with your MIL go. I know I say things about my ILs to my mom that I wouldn't say to DH.
Anonymous
Post 11/28/2015 16:35     Subject: Overheard mother in law insult my family
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:So hubby called his mom on speakerphone while we were driving in the car. They mostly made small talk and at the end she asked about thanksgiving and how my " loser brother" was doing. Obviously she didn't know she was on speakerphone, but this shocked and upset me as my brother hasn't done anything to her. It also made me upset my husband did not tell her off for using that terminology.

My brother has had a few struggles in life for sure, but he is a nice guy, loves my husband and my sons and is good to us. I felt hurt that she was basically judging him when she had no place to do so.

I don't really know what to do about this situation as it deeply upsets me . She has insulted my mother as well in previous years and my husband doesn't do anything about it. Am I making too big a deal of this?


You know, since he didn't react, he has probably heard it before and probably agreed with her statement. Maybe if he had said "mom, stop calling him that", she might have answered "what? you call him that all the time?!?!"



This. It's obviously been a topic of conversation for them before.


That's what I thought also. Your dh has prob said that to her before, or she has said it before and he agreed in some way. I think you should let it go, but tell dh you don't like him having mean conversations about your brother.