I agree politically with my MIL and she still ends up getting heated and raising her voice (no one is disagreeing!) and it makes me uncomfortable. I don't like her rigidity, even if we generally agree. I normally take a trip to the restroom when she gets going. Or just say "yup" and don't feed the beast. For awhile she thought I was a, GASP, republican. No, I'm not, I just don't think there's any reason to yell about politics at the table.

Everytime I read "Hello" I get Lionel Richie stuck in my head.

Hello? Is it me your looking for?

You can also just ask questions. I find that to be fun. A starter place: "So Anna, what would Jesus do about that?"

Then her response should elicit a "hmm" or a "that's an interesting way of looking at that" or a "I think Jesus would agree with you on that one!". Then insert hearty laughter.

OP, if you need a humorous way to psych up for the day, watch The Birdcage with Robin Williams and Nathan Lane. They are a gay couple whose adult son is bringing home is new fiancée and her conservative parents for dinner.

I just chew my turkey

-DIL of tea partyists

My husband's aunt and uncle have some incredibly racist views - I have actually heard the uncle use the N word. When these types of discussions come up and my son is there, I say "we don't agree with that and I don't want to discuss it in front of Bobby. We need to talk about something else." They have been respectful of that, once I raise it. Then, I talk to my son separately later about why we don't agree with their views.

Don't match hate with hate, right? You want her to be open and tolerant, so start there.

Firmly but nonchalantly change subjects not when she starts the subject but if she goes off the deep end.

I dare you to actually play Hello when things get uncomfortable.

Anonymous wrote:How about them O's?

+1

Anonymous wrote:My cousin's wife believes that refugees should be turned away and gay marriage is evil! I feel like loosing my mind thinking about her ignorance. These topics have never come up before but because of Facebook I know we don't share similar beliefs. So what does DCUM do when these topics come
Up at dinner? Scream at the ignorance or keep chewing on your turkey??????

Her house, her opinion. I am sure she does not want you there with your debate any more than you agree with her. STFU and be polite, or go elsewhere. No one really loves a political blowhard at dinner. if you cant hold it in, decline the invite. But do not be mistaken -- It is RUDE to sound off, no matter how right you may feel.

1) Supporting marriage equality and allowing refugees a chance at life are both things that are kind to your fellow human beings. Fight your relative's hatred with kindness.

2) Because I'm a kind (I think) but also somewhat snarky person, I'd still play Adele's "Hello" when a relative starts blabbing hateful, ignorant things. Why can't you do it OP? Download it on your phone, then just hit play on speaker when they start their soapbox.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I agree that Anna has her opinions and she has a right to them. I think she has the right to express her opinions among family. You can just tell your kids "We love Aunt Anna, even though we don't agree with everything she says. We can discuss it in more detail later, but for now let's just enjoy this lovely meal Alice and David have invited us all to."

So your children MUST hold the same opinion as you? Maybe they should be allowed to experience a different world view so that THEY can become their own person.

Not that poster, but I will feel like a failure of a human being if I raise a bigot.

My parents raised me like the poster above raises her kids: "We don't like people who do this. We don't eat this food. We don't like those kinds of people."

Took me years of therapy to learn how to have my own opinions. Set me up to marry a bossy man who didn't respect my opinions.

If your opinions are so valid and clear that every intelligence person would hold them, AND you think your kids are intelligent, then you shouldn't have to brainwash and indoctrinate them. Let them have their own opinions.

Talking about your kids as "we" this and "we" that can be incredibly psychically damaging for them. I know. I am the product of that upbringing.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I agree that Anna has her opinions and she has a right to them. I think she has the right to express her opinions among family. You can just tell your kids "We love Aunt Anna, even though we don't agree with everything she says. We can discuss it in more detail later, but for now let's just enjoy this lovely meal Alice and David have invited us all to."

So your children MUST hold the same opinion as you? Maybe they should be allowed to experience a different world view so that THEY can become their own person.

np here. Yes. There's no need to pretend like opposing gay marriage and immigration of refugees are valid opinions. Because they're not. I suppose there's limited value in hearing the craziness espoused once since it's easily enough to dismiss the person with those views as hateful and un-American. But there's no need to belabor it. And there's certainly no need for it to be an actual topic of conversation around the table -- that would just lend the viewpoint unwarranted credence.

Anonymous wrote:Ironic and totally control freaky of you. We are celebrating THANKSGIVING, a very AMERICAN tradition. Let's celebrate all that is great about America, such as our right to free speech, no?

You do realize that most countries have a Thanksgiving holiday, right?

Brazil, Korea, China, Canada, the UK. They all have their version of it.

Anonymous wrote:My cousin's wife believes that refugees should be turned away and gay marriage is evil! I feel like loosing my mind thinking about her ignorance. These topics have never come up before but because of Facebook I know we don't share similar beliefs. So what does DCUM do when these topics come
Up at dinner? Scream at the ignorance or keep chewing on your turkey??????

Talk about football. First one to bring up geopolitics loses.

Her: "We shouldn't let faggy illegal terrorist See-reee-ans into Murka."

You: Remember that time Tonya Harding took out Nancy Kerrigan? Good times...