Anonymous wrote:Rude, unacceptable, completely lacking in manners.

Either have a party for X people or a sleepover for Y people, but you cannot have both on the same night.

+1 !!!!!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Because it IS okay. My kids have birthday parties with 20+ kids in attendance, and then have their closest few friends sleep over. I do warn the sleepover kids not to talk about it at the party.

Nope. This is incredibly rude. You should know better.

+1 Rationalization at its finest to think it wouldn't be hurtful for only a few to stay and spend the night.

Anonymous wrote:I agree with OP. That sounds incredibly rude. If the parents don't want that many kids spending the night, then maybe they shouldn't have invited so many kids in the first place.

+1 Can't imagine anyone thinking that's ok. Invite the select few for another night.

Anonymous wrote:Jesus, that is super rude. This would be like inviting 200 people to your wedding, only 100 of those to the reception, and then only 50 of those to the dancing part of the reception.

Exactly.

Anonymous wrote:Because it IS okay. My kids have birthday parties with 20+ kids in attendance, and then have their closest few friends sleep over. I do warn the sleepover kids not to talk about it at the party.

Nope. This is incredibly rude. You should know better.

So rude. I don't have a huge problem with having a couple kids sleep.over as long as they're discreet, but to not serve cake to everyone and announce that its only for the ones sleeping over?!?! The hell is wrong with people?

Anonymous wrote:I'm not sure if I'm reading OP correctly but are you saying there was pizza and cake and the kids were told that it was being taken to the sleepover? if so- extremely rude (I'd ban that invitation down the road for life). if hearing about having pizza at a sleepover after a bday party- kids will talk and you can't control that- not optimal but not rude.

So can you please explain more OP?

PP here- read again- so the cake is saved for the overnight guests? And they open gifts then too? I agree- completely rude and so low class. Would never let my child in that houses again.

I'm not sure if I'm reading OP correctly but are you saying there was pizza and cake and the kids were told that it was being taken to the sleepover? if so- extremely rude (I'd ban that invitation down the road for life). if hearing about having pizza at a sleepover after a bday party- kids will talk and you can't control that- not optimal but not rude.

So can you please explain more OP?

Rude, unacceptable, completely lacking in manners.

Either have a party for X people or a sleepover for Y people, but you cannot have both on the same night.

I've never heard of this. How rude!!

It's not nice.

Jesus, that is super rude. This would be like inviting 200 people to your wedding, only 100 of those to the reception, and then only 50 of those to the dancing part of the reception.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Because it IS okay. My kids have birthday parties with 20+ kids in attendance, and then have their closest few friends sleep over. I do warn the sleepover kids not to talk about it at the party.

Just because you too decide to be rude doesn't make it not rude. it's not very nice.

I disagree that it's rude. If it were rude then it would also be rude to "only" be inviting the kids we're inviting instead of the whole class. Or the whole grade. Or the whole school. Where does it end? Who decides that?

No, that's different. Stratifying your guests by who you like best is rude. And mean, when done to kids -- who are at a particularly sensitive age to social slights. It's good that OPs son isn't upset, but I can easily see this being upsetting to a child.

Also, how would you like to be invited to a party, served dinner, and then told "oh no, sorry, that dessert on the sideboard is only for the A-team guests. You have to go home now and we'll eat it when you're gone."

Rude.

Unbelievably rude. I'm totally with you, OP. Wow.

That's really, really poor form. We used to have bday parties where the boys cleared out, but all the girls spent the night, but to have a subset invited to stay and to openly discuss it is not good manners at all.

The messaging is atrocious -- you're good enough to bring me a present, but only the A list gets to stick around for opening. Nobody should ever know they're on the B list. If they do, it's been handled poorly. Good for you, OP, for having good sense!