Anonymous
11/25/2015 17:08
Subject: Helicopter aunt thinking she's doing me a favor
Why don't you check on your kids occasionally?
Anonymous
11/25/2015 16:54
Subject: Helicopter aunt thinking she's doing me a favor
Frankly, it's usually the parents who don't watch their rougher-than-they-kids who throw around the term "helicopter."
Anonymous
11/25/2015 16:25
Subject: Re:Helicopter aunt thinking she's doing me a favor
Anonymous wrote:Except not all 8 and 9 year olds "supervise" or even treat younger kids kindly.Anonymous wrote:Tell her that her 4- and 6-year old kids are perfectly fine to play with and be watched by their 8 and 9-year old cousins, and you are not planning to supervise them.
Exactly. Perhaps you are unaware of what your kids are like around her 4 year old. Older kids do need to be supervised around younger ones. One Thanksgiving some medium and big kid family members were running through a bedroom where my infant was sleeping on the floor and could have been trampled (nowhere else to put her), had I not been watching. It pays to be a helicopter parent/aunt sometimes.
Anonymous
11/25/2015 07:43
Subject: Helicopter aunt thinking she's doing me a favor
Anonymous wrote:Think about this, OP. When your kids were born and she didn't have kids yet, was she a loving, involved, playful, engaged aunt? I'm suspecting yes. Now that she has kids, she probably wonders why you don't seem to want to spend more time with her little ones.
Why not have everyone hang out together, and give each other equal breaks? And you can also try the "let's see if they can do an hour unsupervised while we have a cup of coffee and a muffin" approach. Isn't the point of the visit to spend time together?
+1
Anonymous
11/24/2015 10:55
Subject: Helicopter aunt thinking she's doing me a favor
Think about this, OP. When your kids were born and she didn't have kids yet, was she a loving, involved, playful, engaged aunt? I'm suspecting yes. Now that she has kids, she probably wonders why you don't seem to want to spend more time with her little ones.
Why not have everyone hang out together, and give each other equal breaks? And you can also try the "let's see if they can do an hour unsupervised while we have a cup of coffee and a muffin" approach. Isn't the point of the visit to spend time together?
Why not have everyone hang out together, and give each other equal breaks? And you can also try the "let's see if they can do an hour unsupervised while we have a cup of coffee and a muffin" approach. Isn't the point of the visit to spend time together?
Anonymous
11/24/2015 10:39
Subject: Re:Helicopter aunt thinking she's doing me a favor
+1,000. I say that as the person with younger kids in my extended family. Admittedly, I also have a bit of a chip on my shoulder after years of older in laws having babies and thus slowing down the pace to do kid things. Now that the first grandchildren are older, their parents seem to have forgotten that they and their kids aren't the center of the universe. I don't mind supervising my kids. They are my responsibility. I do get tired of breaking up fights among the older kids.
Anonymous
11/24/2015 09:40
Subject: Helicopter aunt thinking she's doing me a favor
If she says that she doesn't think her kids can play without supervision, then ask yourself if it's important for your kids to play with their cousins and spend time with them. If the answer is yes, then consider taking a turn watching them all. You don't have to play WITH them, but if your sister thinks a parent should be nearby in the same space, then why don't you both hang out together near the kids?
Anonymous
11/24/2015 09:30
Subject: Helicopter aunt thinking she's doing me a favor
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Op maybe say something like "oh Kelly I didn't realize you thought my kids needed to be watched like yours. I'm sorry, I didn't realize you didn't know they are perfectly fine in their own house and yard with me just on premises. I know you're looking forward to that stage. Please let me know if my kids ask you for anything, and let's just hang out here and let them play. That way we can spend time together too"
Would something like that work?
This is a nice way to broach the subject. +1
I think something like the above would work, but I would phrase it as "Larla and Larlo are pretty responsible kids no that they are older, I am totally comfortable letting them play by themselves as long as their is an adult in the house. I think they would also be fine playing with the cousins. Could we try letting the kids play with less direct supervision and see how it goes?"
Anonymous
11/24/2015 09:26
Subject: Helicopter aunt thinking she's doing me a favor
OP, are your kids really rowdy compared to her kids?
Anonymous
11/24/2015 09:01
Subject: Re:Helicopter aunt thinking she's doing me a favor
Anonymous wrote:Except not all 8 and 9 year olds "supervise" or even treat younger kids kindly.Anonymous wrote:Tell her that her 4- and 6-year old kids are perfectly fine to play with and be watched by their 8 and 9-year old cousins, and you are not planning to supervise them.
I can see the aunt wanting to closely supervise for the first day of the visit but after that, unless there is a problem -- which she should discuss with her sister -- then back off and let the kids play.
Anonymous
11/24/2015 08:20
Subject: Re:Helicopter aunt thinking she's doing me a favor
Except not all 8 and 9 year olds "supervise" or even treat younger kids kindly.Anonymous wrote:Tell her that her 4- and 6-year old kids are perfectly fine to play with and be watched by their 8 and 9-year old cousins, and you are not planning to supervise them.
Anonymous
11/24/2015 05:47
Subject: Helicopter aunt thinking she's doing me a favor
Do your kids pick on her kids?
Anonymous
11/23/2015 17:55
Subject: Helicopter aunt thinking she's doing me a favor
Anonymous wrote:Op maybe say something like "oh Kelly I didn't realize you thought my kids needed to be watched like yours. I'm sorry, I didn't realize you didn't know they are perfectly fine in their own house and yard with me just on premises. I know you're looking forward to that stage. Please let me know if my kids ask you for anything, and let's just hang out here and let them play. That way we can spend time together too"
Would something like that work?
This is a nice way to broach the subject. +1
Anonymous
11/23/2015 15:30
Subject: Helicopter aunt thinking she's doing me a favor
Op maybe say something like "oh Kelly I didn't realize you thought my kids needed to be watched like yours. I'm sorry, I didn't realize you didn't know they are perfectly fine in their own house and yard with me just on premises. I know you're looking forward to that stage. Please let me know if my kids ask you for anything, and let's just hang out here and let them play. That way we can spend time together too"
Would something like that work?
Would something like that work?
Anonymous
11/23/2015 15:27
Subject: Re:Helicopter aunt thinking she's doing me a favor
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:You should thank her for BABYSITTING your kids.
No, you should explain to her that your children who are 8 and 9 years old do not need babysitting. They just need some adult to be in the house (just available, not actively supervising) while they are playing outside or in the basement.
+1 4 & 6 yr olds shouldn't need to be watched constantly either (unless there's some developmental issue you are unaware of). Poor kids.