Anonymous wrote:the thing is that yours are young enough that you guys are still in"watch kids" mode all the time. He over have older ones so they are used to not watching as much. Different parenting styles. But the cousin napping while watching kids would make me mad.

Not OP, but I can read. Littlest ones for sister/cousin are 4 and 3. You had better damn well be in "watch the kids" mode all the time.

Anonymous wrote:the thing is that yours are young enough that you guys are still in"watch kids" mode all the time. He over have older ones so they are used to not watching as much. Different parenting styles. But the cousin napping while watching kids would make me mad.

Wow. If there's a lake around, and one of the older boys has been known/proven to run away and hide on another property? I'm watching my kids, regardless of age.

He over = the other

the thing is that yours are young enough that you guys are still in"watch kids" mode all the time. He over have older ones so they are used to not watching as much. Different parenting styles. But the cousin napping while watching kids would make me mad.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So do they ever act as a supervising adult? Like if you and your DH goes off, can you EVER say, "Hey, sis/cuz, can you keep an eye on Larla and Larlo? I am going to grab a quick nap?". Or are they always gone?

My family (and my in-laws) do this, but it is more of an unspoken understanding that anyone that sees any child is justified in correcting them/keeping them safe, but you have to pull your weight, you know? You can't disappear ALL of the damn time.

Sadly, no...and frankly, with the way they are, I don't know that I'd really trust them to actually watch my kids while I took a walk or anything longer than a quick shower. For example, my older cousin was once "watching her kids" and my sister's kids while my sister napped before my family arrived. My sister and cousins were the only adults there at the time. When I arrived with my then-only child, I found my cousin asleep on the couch, the boys arguing in the back room, the toddler in the kitchen, and my sister's two girls upstairs unsupervised in the (finished) attic area where we keep toys, life jackets...and the old-style tie-on ice skates they were PLAYING WITH. It's just not worth it, and it's a very unbalanced dynamic.

My sister always takes umbrage when I correct her kids, which I only do when I think they are doing something dangerous.

If your sister takes umbrage when you correct her kids, start correcting them all the time. Hopefully she takes do much umbrage that she decides to stay at home and watch her kids. In the meantime, let her know that if you're responsible for the kids, then you get to correct them as you see fit.

Sounds like a conflict in parenting style.
You will never "win" this one .
Look after you own little kids, and only stop the other kids if they are actually going to die.
Save your energies for the teen years.

Ugh. It's always the 3+ kids parents who just expect other adults to watch their kids on outings, in public, etc. WATCH YOUR OWN KIDS. It doesn't "take a village," it takes YOU to be the parents. The village already done raised their kids, or only had one or two for a reason, do you get it?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Kids are 9 (boy), 6 (girl) and 3 (girl) for sister, and two boys, 10 and 4, for cousin.

Also in the mix are my brother's kids, my kids and two cousins, kids, a full range from 6 down to newborn.

So, the girls were upstairs, but there was a toddler in the kitchen. Which of those 5 do you consider to be toddler age, or too young to be in a kitchen?

Stop with this, really.
If I ask someone to watch my child and they agree, then they shouldn't be asleep when I get back. Especially with a lake out the back door.

I agree. I would be SO PISSED if someone said they'd watch my child, and then FELL ASLEEP.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Kids are 9 (boy), 6 (girl) and 3 (girl) for sister, and two boys, 10 and 4, for cousin.

Also in the mix are my brother's kids, my kids and two cousins, kids, a full range from 6 down to newborn.

So, the girls were upstairs, but there was a toddler in the kitchen. Which of those 5 do you consider to be toddler age, or too young to be in a kitchen?

Stop with this, really.
If I ask someone to watch my child and they agree, then they shouldn't be asleep when I get back. Especially with a lake out the back door.

Anonymous wrote:The ownership issue is complex. My grandma passed away just over a year ago, and now my step-granddad still has quasi-ownership, along with the six adult children of my grandparents. (I mean, he has no legal ownership, but no one is kicking him out/taking away his key.) He's not there all the time. All of the adult siblings (my mom among them) have equal ownership (so, cousin's parents, too), but no one lives close enough or wants to step up enough to be THE OWNER. The maintenence/taxes still come out of the estate...

Then all 6 adult siblings need to be aware of the issue, the liability, the danger, reminded of the cousins son lost for an hour, and the current issues even if just through a mass email that describes the situation and asks for input on some ground rules. Could you help your mother start this?

Hello all,
I am writing to ask for some suggestions to make sure we are all safe at the lake. Like all of you, nothing gives me more joy than seeing my family together having fun. I miss mom every day, I know we all do, and hope she is looking down on us enjoying her home and knows how grateful we are for the beautiful home (**skip the god part if it's not your thing**).

Since we have so many beautiful nieces nephews cousins and grandchildren now, I am getting more and more concerned every year about the kids' safety with the lake and the house in general. I'm sure none of this will ever forget the fear when Timmy was missing a few years back.
I am thinking that setting some parental guidelines would help. My ideas are below, please give me some feedback or add some of your own in.

1. No kids outside under 5 without a parent
2. No kid under 10 outside without a parent and without a life jacket
3. Adults are to be responsible for only up to 4 kids
4. Parents have to verbally ask another adult to watch their child

(**or whatever, these are just some examples from my cousins place)

Please let me know what you think
Jane

The ownership issue is complex. My grandma passed away just over a year ago, and now my step-granddad still has quasi-ownership, along with the six adult children of my grandparents. (I mean, he has no legal ownership, but no one is kicking him out/taking away his key.) He's not there all the time. All of the adult siblings (my mom among them) have equal ownership (so, cousin's parents, too), but no one lives close enough or wants to step up enough to be THE OWNER. The maintenence/taxes still come out of the estate...

Anonymous wrote:^^PP here
The person who owns the home needs to set some rules. As in, no children under 12 outside without an adult. Only one adult to 4 children (or whatever number you come up with).
You need to sit down with the concerne family members, make up the rules, and present them before this family gathering from the homeowner.

Fwiw, All kids under 12 have to wear a life jacket if out in the yard without an adult at my cousins lake house. Her house, her rules, her liability (though all of our fear obviously).

I agree with this. If I am the driver I also make sure everybody is buckled up.
The homeowner needs to set safety rules in regard to underage children.
Just like every public pool has sign up. Sorry OP has to deal with this. Sounds very stressful and
disrespectful of others.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Kids are 9 (boy), 6 (girl) and 3 (girl) for sister, and two boys, 10 and 4, for cousin.

Also in the mix are my brother's kids, my kids and two cousins, kids, a full range from 6 down to newborn.

So, the girls were upstairs, but there was a toddler in the kitchen. Which of those 5 do you consider to be toddler age, or too young to be in a kitchen?

At the time, my cousin's youngest was 2 and was in the kitchen alone.

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Kids are 9 (boy), 6 (girl) and 3 (girl) for sister, and two boys, 10 and 4, for cousin.

Also in the mix are my brother's kids, my kids and two cousins, kids, a full range from 6 down to newborn.

So, the girls were upstairs, but there was a toddler in the kitchen. Which of those 5 do you consider to be toddler age, or too young to be in a kitchen?

OP here. Kids are 9 (boy), 6 (girl) and 3 (girl) for sister, and two boys, 10 and 4, for cousin.

Also in the mix are my brother's kids, my kids and two cousins, kids, a full range from 6 down to newborn.