Anonymous wrote:I am 29 and DH and I have been talking about when to start really TTC. I think we should start asap because what if it just doesn't works and takes us years to just get pregnant with #1. We debatebif we want 1 or 2. Def no more than 2 for husband. I could be very happy with 3 babies. All depends on finanaces really.

DH thinks we should wait until I am 32 to start trying and focus on work and saving until then.

Is this too late?

I had my first kid when I was 32. I had my second kid at 35. Both times I got pregnant on the first month that I tried.

Anonymous wrote:We started trying when I was thirty. I had a lot of friends with issues that took years to conceive. I kind of expected the same. I got pregnant the first month that we started trying (after 12 years on the pill). So you never know.

The vast majority of 30 year olds and 32 year olds will get pregnant within a few months with no trouble.

If you know a bunch of people having trouble, they are on the shitty side of statistics, which doesn't mean you will be. You could be. But probably not.

Start trying to have a baby when you're ready to have a baby in 9 months.

Anonymous wrote:Thanks for the helpful feedback.

Those offended or thinking its as dumb question- don't click on the click.

We would be open to fertility treatments at 31/32 if needed. And right now we just got out of debt and in a good place financially but with minimum savings. Like only 6 months.

If we waited to have a baby I could continue working the next two years and we would have 150k in savings by the time we got pregnant.

Is there specific test I need to ask for at the ob? Or just tell them to check my fertility and any underlying illness that could be there. And get my husband tested?

Well, six months of savings is more than most people have, so you're ahead of the curve already there.

Look, there's no way to tell until you start trying. The statistics are on your side at 32, but if you're one of the ones who have problems getting or staying pregnant, that will be cold comfort. I had an easy time conceiving at 34, 36, and 38 (in second trimester with my third), but plenty of people don't. You have to decide for yourself how long you want to wait, and what you're comfortable with. I'm glad we waited save for the fact that if my kids wait as long as we did, I'll be an older grandmother--assuming they even have children. But otherwise, no regrets. I'm lucky, or at the very least, not unlucky.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Thanks for the helpful feedback.

Those offended or thinking its as dumb question- don't click on the click.

We would be open to fertility treatments at 31/32 if needed. And right now we just got out of debt and in a good place financially but with minimum savings. Like only 6 months.

If we waited to have a baby I could continue working the next two years and we would have 150k in savings by the time we got pregnant.

Is there specific test I need to ask for at the ob? Or just tell them to check my fertility and any underlying illness that could be there. And get my husband tested?

Why are you assuming there's something wrong? You can't just go and have fertility testing. The RE will not see you if you haven't even tried to conceive.

Well, I don't know about that. I imagine the RE would see you, but insurance won't pay for it. If you're willing to pay a couple thousand dollars out of pocket to get tested, you probably can.

Anonymous wrote:Thanks for the helpful feedback.

Those offended or thinking its as dumb question- don't click on the click.

We would be open to fertility treatments at 31/32 if needed. And right now we just got out of debt and in a good place financially but with minimum savings. Like only 6 months.

If we waited to have a baby I could continue working the next two years and we would have 150k in savings by the time we got pregnant.

Is there specific test I need to ask for at the ob? Or just tell them to check my fertility and any underlying illness that could be there. And get my husband tested?

Why are you assuming there's something wrong? You can't just go and have fertility testing. The RE will not see you if you haven't even tried to conceive.

yes, you're doomed.
wtf

Anonymous wrote:Thanks for the helpful feedback.

Those offended or thinking its as dumb question- don't click on the click.

We would be open to fertility treatments at 31/32 if needed. And right now we just got out of debt and in a good place financially but with minimum savings. Like only 6 months.

If we waited to have a baby I could continue working the next two years and we would have 150k in savings by the time we got pregnant.

Is there specific test I need to ask for at the ob? Or just tell them to check my fertility and any underlying illness that could be there. And get my husband tested?

There's no test that can tell you everything you need to know. I've been dealing with infertility for over a year and every test result is perfectly normal. Family history from all sides of having kids well into the 40s. Would it have been easier in late 20s than early 30s? I'll never know.

We started trying when I was thirty. I had a lot of friends with issues that took years to conceive. I kind of expected the same. I got pregnant the first month that we started trying (after 12 years on the pill). So you never know.

Thanks for the helpful feedback.

Those offended or thinking its as dumb question- don't click on the click.

We would be open to fertility treatments at 31/32 if needed. And right now we just got out of debt and in a good place financially but with minimum savings. Like only 6 months.

If we waited to have a baby I could continue working the next two years and we would have 150k in savings by the time we got pregnant.

Is there specific test I need to ask for at the ob? Or just tell them to check my fertility and any underlying illness that could be there. And get my husband tested?

29 year old here who's getting fertility treatments- I wouldn't wait if your marriage is strong and you have savings. I have lots of friends my age who are getting fertility treatments too. It seems half get pregnant super easily and then the other half just can't. And you won't know where you fall until you try.

There are dumb questions.

How are your finances? If you can afford IVF easily if you have problems, wait. If money is really tight, I'd start now.

My RE used to say "having a baby doesn't get harder, it gets more expensive".

32 is certainly not too late to be a good parent. In fact, arguably, it's better. However, it may be on the later side to start trying to conceive, particularly if you want more than one child. Some people get pregnant immediately. Some don't. My cousin is about to have her third kid in 4 years, and she is 43 so had the first at 39. I am 35, conceived easily at 32, and have been trying without success to conceive and sustain a pregnancy for almost a year now. You just never know. But if you have problems conceiving or carrying to term, it's better to start early.

If I were you I would start trying around 30. It may take two years to conceive. Or it may not, in which case you'll have a child a little earlier than planned, but if you truly want kids, better a little early than too late or not at all.

I would take your time. Enjoy your marriage. Make sure it is strong and happy so you don't end up like a typical sexless, DCUM parent on the brink of divorce.


Signed, mom at 40 years old, happily married for 30 years

Who knows? Fertility for one person has no bearing on fertility for the next. If you want kids, start trying to have them.