Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Maybe your kid was annoying...

she is annoying, i will admit, but the teacher shouldn't had told her she is annoying point blank, if this is how it went, i'm not for sure, i will ask my child again for the 5th time

Let it go.

Oh the horrors!

Why didn't the teacher use another word?
How about "obnoxious"? "Inconsiderate"? "Rude"?
"Bratty"? Would those have hurt her self-esteem?

In the scheme of things, "annoying" is probably pretty tame.

Anonymous wrote:I tell my kids they are annoying sometimes, I don't see what the big deal is.

OMG, I was thinking the same thing. I tell them they are annoying sometimes... because they are. Why sugar coat it? May I add they both have a pretty healthy self esteem.

I tell my kids they are annoying sometimes, I don't see what the big deal is.

If your child can't or won't remember, ask the teacher. Do it nicely, in a way that isn't blaming or angry since it sounds like she is otherwise a nice teacher. And realize it could be a misunderstanding. My child once told me her teacher yelled at her for not following directions (she is in immersion and didn't understand the directions in the target language.) After we discussed it further, I discovered what actually happened was that the teacher had repeated the same directions several times in a slow and loud voice, and my daughter (not understanding what she was saying) felt embarassed and thought she was in trouble.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:First of all, I would not assume that's exactly what happened. Kids are not reliable narrators. I would ask the teacher for his or her side of the story.

+1

"You're annoying your classmate with your behavior."

It could've been something like this.

Or...

"Touching other kids/interrupting/always playing with your classmate's hair/etc is very annoying to others and you need to stop.

OP, my first question would be to ask my kid what they were doing in the lead up to being "called annoying". If she was indeed doing something that is annoying I would then talk to uer about boundaries. Very likely your kid is not relaying an accurate or complete story to you.

I asked her 3 times why her teach said that, she couldn't remember, i will ask her again. Her teacher is super sweet so it's hard to see her say that, but i was thinking maybe she got frustrated with her and said it. I will further investigate by asking my daughter what really happen again

Oh come on now. Do you really think she remembered that her teacher said "annoying" but forgot the context? I think she just didn't want to tell you.

If the child was being annoying it is entirely appropriate for the teacher to tell her such. Good grief, we need to stop bubble wrapping our kids and allow them to face reality.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What would you do? She just told me her wonderful nice teacher called her annoying. I need a good way of handling this, i know my daughter is a chatter box and can be annoying, but i don't want the teacher to call her annoying, this can definitely destroy her self-esteem.

Oh, c'mon now! Given your positive feelings about the teacher, couldn't you just have said, "I'm sure she didn't mean YOU are annoying. hey, want to read a book with me?" or something...this is not the kind of thing that makes or breaks a kid.

It will not break her.

But putting her in a bubble free of everything but 100% positive reinforcement will eventually create a college student who is so fragile and damaged by the very idea of an idea that might contradict them or make them think that they can't handle the idea of free speech and want mandated "safe zones" where free speech is forbidden.

+1000!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What would you do? She just told me her wonderful nice teacher called her annoying. I need a good way of handling this, i know my daughter is a chatter box and can be annoying, but i don't want the teacher to call her annoying, this can definitely destroy her self-esteem.

Oh, c'mon now! Given your positive feelings about the teacher, couldn't you just have said, "I'm sure she didn't mean YOU are annoying. hey, want to read a book with me?" or something...this is not the kind of thing that makes or breaks a kid.

It will not break her.

But putting her in a bubble free of everything but 100% positive reinforcement will eventually create a college student who is so fragile and damaged by the very idea of an idea that might contradict them or make them think that they can't handle the idea of free speech and want mandated "safe zones" where free speech is forbidden.

OP - say to the teacher "I'd like re-enforce good behavior at home as well as in the class. Can you let me know what DD did that was annoying so I can address it at home as well?"

Seriously, ask the teacher (in a neutral, non-aggressive way). It is very possible that your child misunderstood.

I'm a teacher and students sometimes misunderstand the most innocuous of comments.

Anonymous wrote:What would you do? She just told me her wonderful nice teacher called her annoying. I need a good way of handling this, i know my daughter is a chatter box and can be annoying, but i don't want the teacher to call her annoying, this can definitely destroy her self-esteem.

Oh, c'mon now! Given your positive feelings about the teacher, couldn't you just have said, "I'm sure she didn't mean YOU are annoying. hey, want to read a book with me?" or something...this is not the kind of thing that makes or breaks a kid.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:"Please stop making that sound. It's really annoying." "Please stop poking Larla. You're annoying her." "I'm annoyed that you keep following me around to ask questions instead of raising your hand."

You make a good point here but at the same time they need to explain in detail the word annoying give some examples in a positive way.

It sounds like your daughter knows the meaning of the word annoying. I'm not saying that it's the best choice of words, but in context it can be completely acceptable. You admit that your daughter can be annoying. Isn't it possible that even a kind teacher might have an imperfect moment?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:First of all, I would not assume that's exactly what happened. Kids are not reliable narrators. I would ask the teacher for his or her side of the story.

+1

"You're annoying your classmate with your behavior."

It could've been something like this.

Or...

"Touching other kids/interrupting/always playing with your classmate's hair/etc is very annoying to others and you need to stop.

OP, my first question would be to ask my kid what they were doing in the lead up to being "called annoying". If she was indeed doing something that is annoying I would then talk to uer about boundaries. Very likely your kid is not relaying an accurate or complete story to you.

I asked her 3 times why her teach said that, she couldn't remember, i will ask her again. Her teacher is super sweet so it's hard to see her say that, but i was thinking maybe she got frustrated with her and said it. I will further investigate by asking my daughter what really happen again

Chances are - she won’t remember. Or, she is choosing not to tell you.
Talk to the teacher if this bothers you. The teacher will be able to tell you.

The teacher might not remember at this point.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:First of all, I would not assume that's exactly what happened. Kids are not reliable narrators. I would ask the teacher for his or her side of the story.

+1

"You're annoying your classmate with your behavior."

It could've been something like this.

Or...

"Touching other kids/interrupting/always playing with your classmate's hair/etc is very annoying to others and you need to stop.

OP, my first question would be to ask my kid what they were doing in the lead up to being "called annoying". If she was indeed doing something that is annoying I would then talk to uer about boundaries. Very likely your kid is not relaying an accurate or complete story to you.

I asked her 3 times why her teach said that, she couldn't remember, i will ask her again. Her teacher is super sweet so it's hard to see her say that, but i was thinking maybe she got frustrated with her and said it. I will further investigate by asking my daughter what really happen again

Chances are - she won’t remember. Or, she is choosing not to tell you.
Talk to the teacher if this bothers you. The teacher will be able to tell you.

ok i will