It definitely changes when the kids start school. For us that also coincided with health problems for one of my parents making them less available to come here. We call a few times a week (my kids often initiate the call and I find out later) and visit maybe twice through the year and for a longer stretch in summer. I also usually visit at least once alone (usually for some event that is impossible for everyone to come for - funeral, religious event in the family, etc) which is nice.

Our parents live 12+ hours away and we see them twice a year. I really wish it were more but it's just too hard and expensive to fly with two kids and I really don't like being in the car for that long. Both our parents live in the same area so at least we can see everyone in one visit, but I still feel guilty because my kids are missing out on growing up with their grandparents nearby.

Ironically, it was actually easier for us when they were little. As horrible as twelve hours in the car with infants was, the logistics actually get more complicated with two jobs, three kids, three pets and various schedules. it's difficult to actually find a week where no one is committed to anything, and my schedule and my husband's seldom even line up when it comes to vacations.

In addition, my in-laws plan nothing for the kids to do, and they don't have internet -- so it's difficult if a child has homework that needs to be done that requires an internet connection, and I can't even manage to sneak in a little work every day unless I leave the kids with my IL's (who always complain about how 'wild' they are) and go find a coffee shop or something.

It's really hard now that my MIL is too old to travel (or so she claims). My parents -- also twelve hours away -- visit frequently and for some reason my husband won't just fly to Vt and see his mother without us. it would make it all so much easier!

Anonymous wrote:Why do you ask? Are you the one who asks these similar questions?

OP here. No, I haven't posted any similar questions. Our families are about 12 hours away. When we just had one kid and she was a baby, we visited them probably 5+ times a year. Now, with 2 kids and one in school, it will only be 3 times this year. They've typically come up here 1-2 times a year. Just missing them and feeling a bit guilty about not going there more. But it's expensive to fly and a long drive, and there's work and school. I was just curious about what's typical for other families.