Op, being apart for Thanksgiving is fine - the way it's happening for you and DH, though is NOT. For other couples sometimes Thanksgiving is the perfect holiday to spend separately, each spouse with their own respective families.

Anonymous wrote:OP here, I just wanted to say it's not my husband's parents that are the problem, just his dad (his parents are divorced). His mother and her family have never treated me like this. Hell, they invite me to events before my husband.

NP here. Your DH and his father both seem to have issues. For one, the FIL knows better than to try to triangulate and cause problems, but it does not stop him from trying. Your FIL sounds like an immature ass for pointing out (much like a petulant child) that he "doesn't like you". Does he stamp his feet and slam the door when he says it, for crying out loud?

Who the eff cares if the old bat doesn't like you or not, it has absolutely no bearing on you. If I were you (and I am, partially) I would tell the FIL to grow up. PPs are right - your DH can go see FIL by himself, if at all. I am sorry you are going through this, OP. In my DH's case, he has a hard time standing up to his abusive family because well, they are abusive. If there is a fight to be had, I choose wisely, and stand up for myself - because if I wait for my DH to do it, it would not happen. I am not afraid of my IL's, nor should you be afraid of yours. GL.

"Have you and your spouse ever had Thanksgiving dinner separately due to in laws?"


Wait...This is an option??? This may change everything.

OP here, I just wanted to say it's not my husband's parents that are the problem, just his dad (his parents are divorced). His mother and her family have never treated me like this. Hell, they invite me to events before my husband.

First, I think it's REALLY important that your parents see you at Christmas.

Second, it has also just become really important to see them at Thanksgiving too! With the kids!

Graciously give your husband leave to spend Thanksgiving wherever he dam well likes (as long as he wears protection). The Family (you and the children) will be spending time with people who appreciate you.

Anonymous wrote:Why don't they like you?

They think I'm too quiet and antisocial. I admit that I'm usually a quiet person, but I try to engage everyone in conversation. Most of them just aren't receptive to it.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You tell your husband that you will be with your children at Thanksgiving, period.

I would be tempted to add that if he has Thanksgiving dinner alone with his parents, perhaps he should plan on staying there.

This is unacceptable OP.

Poster you quoted above, gin paving you a high five.

Anonymous wrote:You tell your husband that you will be with your children at Thanksgiving, period.

I would be tempted to add that if he has Thanksgiving dinner alone with his parents, perhaps he should plan on staying there.

This is unacceptable OP.

You tell your husband that you will be with your children at Thanksgiving, period.

Anonymous wrote:W. T. F.

Marriage counseling, stat. His parents are not the problem. The fact that his response to their saying "don't bring your wife" was "now I will try and trick my wife into not coming and pretend that I'm doing her a favor" is the problem.

Damn Skippy!!

This is astonishing.
And totally unacceptable behavior on both your DH and FIL's part.
For all I know you are a very unpleasant person. Maybe his family is justified in not liking you. But regardless, this is an outrageous request for FIL to make. And if your DH said OK then I agree you two need counseling.

Anonymous wrote:W. T. F.

Marriage counseling, stat. His parents are not the problem. The fact that his response to their saying "don't bring your wife" was "now I will try and trick my wife into not coming and pretend that I'm doing her a favor" is the problem.

This x10000000

Why don't they like you?

Wow, and he's an ass.

W. T. F.

Marriage counseling, stat. His parents are not the problem. The fact that his response to their saying "don't bring your wife" was "now I will try and trick my wife into not coming and pretend that I'm doing her a favor" is the problem.