Anonymous
Post 10/24/2015 01:03     Subject: Re:How would you feel/ react?
Anonymous wrote:Something similar happened to us. I wasn't angry about it and I'm having a hard time understanding why you would waste energy on it.....unless you did have some insecurities or there was some history you're not telling us about. I knew my DH wasn't interested in his ex-fiance but it made him feel good that she expressed interest in him. She cheated on him and he liked her knowing that she fucked up a good thing with him. I got sick of him talking him about but I wasn't angry with him or her. Too bad so sad for her.


100%, but She won't admit to her insecurities.
Her DH handled it just fine.
But she'd rather be angry and throw a tantrum,and run to an online forum to justify her tantrum- which is why it will be her insecurities that kill the relationship.
Anonymous
Post 10/24/2015 00:49     Subject: How would you feel/ react?
Anonymous wrote:If she was sincere and legit about wanting to see him, everybody knows that you extend the invite to the spouse, too. Even if you really want to get your ex alone, you always always always offer a group meetup for openness and to emphasize it is just a friendly meeting.

"Would love to meet up with you and meet your lovely family while I'm in town." Even if you're single, you don't just invite the husband, even if it's obvious with kids and sitters and bedtimes that only one of the couple can come. The intent to meet both parts of the couple makes it an innocent, transparent meeting. Just trying to get drinks with the ex is not.


I agree with this 100 percent.

Anonymous
Post 10/24/2015 00:48     Subject: How would you feel/ react?
Anonymous wrote:Have your husband invite her over to your house for a meal with the family followed up with a business conversation over coffee and dessert. If she is full of it she won't touch that invitation with a 10 ft. pole.


LOVE IT. BEST POST EVER.

You can even join their business convo.

Anonymous
Post 10/23/2015 20:45     Subject: Re:How would you feel/ react?
Something similar happened to us. I wasn't angry about it and I'm having a hard time understanding why you would waste energy on it.....unless you did have some insecurities or there was some history you're not telling us about. I knew my DH wasn't interested in his ex-fiance but it made him feel good that she expressed interest in him. She cheated on him and he liked her knowing that she fucked up a good thing with him. I got sick of him talking him about but I wasn't angry with him or her. Too bad so sad for her.
Anonymous
Post 10/23/2015 17:37     Subject: Re:How would you feel/ react?
i wouldn't be happy with it but would be happy that DH was so open about it. i think he handled it appropriately.
Anonymous
Post 10/23/2015 17:37     Subject: How would you feel/ react?
If she was sincere and legit about wanting to see him, everybody knows that you extend the invite to the spouse, too. Even if you really want to get your ex alone, you always always always offer a group meetup for openness and to emphasize it is just a friendly meeting.

"Would love to meet up with you and meet your lovely family while I'm in town." Even if you're single, you don't just invite the husband, even if it's obvious with kids and sitters and bedtimes that only one of the couple can come. The intent to meet both parts of the couple makes it an innocent, transparent meeting. Just trying to get drinks with the ex is not.
Anonymous
Post 10/23/2015 17:33     Subject: How would you feel/ react?
Anonymous wrote:OP here, what do you think her motivation is?


Maybe it's legit?
Anonymous
Post 10/23/2015 17:29     Subject: How would you feel/ react?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:It sounds like you're angry at your husband, and insecure in your relationship. Be happy he's passing on getting "business" from her and move on.


LOL, of course I am angry! I am.
I dont think I am insecure though. I cant imagine emailing another woman's husband and asking him out to dinner!!


This is so much wasted energy. Some women think there's nothing wrong with making a play for a man already in a relationship. This is not new information. Don't worry about her. Focus on the fact that your husband said no to her and move on.
Anonymous
Post 10/23/2015 17:22     Subject: Re:How would you feel/ react?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:NO. Not in this lifetime. She had her chance.

Don't listen to the cheaters here. They have no morals.


I'm a pp not a cheater. Neither is my husband, just been married long enough to know playing babysitter is not worth it and freaking out on someone for not reacting like you want them to is a relationship killer.
He didn't marry her.
He married you.
If you want to make it to 23 or 33 or even 53 years with this man, you have to get over the fact that he was with someone before you therin lies your insecurity. Deep down it bothers you that you weren't the first woman DH was engaged to, that you got together quickly after they split.


That does not bother me. I have my own history also.


Then let it go.
Anonymous
Post 10/23/2015 17:18     Subject: Re:How would you feel/ react?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:NO. Not in this lifetime. She had her chance.

Don't listen to the cheaters here. They have no morals.


I'm a pp not a cheater. Neither is my husband, just been married long enough to know playing babysitter is not worth it and freaking out on someone for not reacting like you want them to is a relationship killer.
He didn't marry her.
He married you.
If you want to make it to 23 or 33 or even 53 years with this man, you have to get over the fact that he was with someone before you therin lies your insecurity. Deep down it bothers you that you weren't the first woman DH was engaged to, that you got together quickly after they split.


That does not bother me. I have my own history also.
Anonymous
Post 10/23/2015 17:16     Subject: How would you feel/ react?
OP here, what do you think her motivation is?
Anonymous
Post 10/23/2015 17:16     Subject: Re:How would you feel/ react?
Anonymous wrote:NO. Not in this lifetime. She had her chance.

Don't listen to the cheaters here. They have no morals.


I'm a pp not a cheater. Neither is my husband, just been married long enough to know playing babysitter is not worth it and freaking out on someone for not reacting like you want them to is a relationship killer.
He didn't marry her.
He married you.
If you want to make it to 23 or 33 or even 53 years with this man, you have to get over the fact that he was with someone before you therin lies your insecurity. Deep down it bothers you that you weren't the first woman DH was engaged to, that you got together quickly after they split.
Anonymous
Post 10/23/2015 17:16     Subject: How would you feel/ react?
Anonymous wrote:Have your husband invite her over to your house for a meal with the family followed up with a business conversation over coffee and dessert. If she is full of it she won't touch that invitation with a 10 ft. pole.


I dont really want to host my husband's ex.
Especially with a baby at home. Plus, we are in a tiny rental for a few months until we get our house.
Anonymous
Post 10/23/2015 17:13     Subject: How would you feel/ react?
Have your husband invite her over to your house for a meal with the family followed up with a business conversation over coffee and dessert. If she is full of it she won't touch that invitation with a 10 ft. pole.
Anonymous
Post 10/23/2015 17:12     Subject: Re:How would you feel/ react?