Anonymous wrote:If a woman has a good job, her own place, attained her degree, her own car, etc., why would she attract losers instead of those men who are good catches?

One answer could be... she's not hot.

Hotness >>> job, house, education, car, all that crap.

But more likely, it's the attitude. Too many "alpha women" are bitchy and obnoxious. Quality men don't want that and won't put up with it.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP have you tried sitting at Starbucks reading a book?

OP here. I do. No one ever comes up to me!

Do YOU ever try to get someone to come up to you??? It doesn't take much. A simple smile would do it.

Op, I was like you. My first relationship as a teen was unhealthy, although it took me years after it had ended to realized that. Subconsciously it had eaten away my self esteem and the next guy I dated wasn't all that much better. Eventually I didn't bother with the good guys because I figured I didn't deserve them.

Ended up doing a total self esteem over haul and am now married to the most amazing man.

Anonymous wrote:OP have you tried sitting at Starbucks reading a book?

OP here. I do. No one ever comes up to me!

Think more highly of yourself, and keep looking until you find someone who can have a relationship without an agenda. Love that person for who they are, or keep moving.

Anonymous wrote:OP have you tried sitting at Starbucks reading a book?

Damn you, you owe me a new keyboard.

Anonymous wrote:Honest question: are you fat? My sister is the classic "pretty face" (seriously, she looks like she should be on a famous painting or something) but she is obese. She only attracts losers because other men won't give her the time of day. The losers know that deep down, she's desperate, and it gives them a feeling of power over her. They take advantage of her financially and sexually. It breaks my heart.

Speaking of losers...

OP have you tried sitting at Starbucks reading a book?

No offense OP but if you were really all that and a bag of chips then loser guys wouldn't constantly be flocking to you so evidently its one of two things - - - either 1) you're not as fantastic a catch as you think you are or 2) hot/successful/non-loser guys don't think you're a fantastic catch.
Pick whichever one you find easiest to accept.

Anonymous wrote:Pick out the guy you want and go after him. Be aggressive!

BUT BUT BUT it's female prerogative to sit on their asses and let the men come to them!

It all goes back to childhood OP.

As kids, our definition of love first comes from our home/parents. The way they show us love, and even model true love for each other can impact us more than we care to admit.

Suppose you had a dad with no ambition. We are taught as kids to love our parents, respect them. Bar nothing.

So we do as we are obligated to do. Then as adults, we find ourselves in relationships with losers.

Why so?? Because we naturally cling to what made us comfortable as young children. People like to gravitate toward what is comfortable, esp. regarding love.

It is like a vicious pattern from our youth.

They can tell you don't believe you deserve better.

If a woman has a good job, her own place, attained her degree, her own car, etc., why would she attract losers instead of those men who are good catches?

I'm assuming this is what the OP means regarding her or even other women out there. I work with women like this and don't understand it.

I once heard a comedy routine that riffed on the fact that obese white women hate themselves and stay home, while an obese black woman is proud and sassy, going out every weekend and having a blast.
It's all in the attitude.

Anonymous wrote:Honest question: are you fat? My sister is the classic "pretty face" (seriously, she looks like she should be on a famous painting or something) but she is obese. She only attracts losers because other men won't give her the time of day. The losers know that deep down, she's desperate, and it gives them a feeling of power over her. They take advantage of her financially and sexually. It breaks my heart.

Not all overweight people are desperate losers who will settle for the dregs of society, just FYI.