Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I hosted an Oktoberfest party for our neighborhood and noticed that a few of my Jewish friends didn't attend and were kind of quiet with me last time I saw them. DH and I aren't German, but we did the traditional German beer, food, etc. Maybe it's coincidental that they were busy and it's my imagination. Hope this is the case as I'd never want to offend them.

As a Jew, I'm more disturbed that you noticed the religions of people who weren't there, and are preemptively judging them for it, than I am by your decision to have a German-themed party.

Meh. OP did nothing wrong.

OP is keeping careful track of her Jewish friends and their movements. It's kind of weird. It would never have occurred to me to think that there had to be a reason that my friends didn't show, much less assume it was because of their religion.

I see nothing wrong with OP wondering if no-show invitees who later may have been less warm to her last time they saw one another had a reason to behave that way. Sure OP could be, and probably is, off-base on this but she's trying to consider if she unthinkingly offended someone. You're odd for thinking she's offensive for wondering if she unintentionally offended someone.

Agreed.

Nobody said they found OP "offensive." The words used were "kind of weird" and "more disturbed."

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I hosted an Oktoberfest party for our neighborhood and noticed that a few of my Jewish friends didn't attend and were kind of quiet with me last time I saw them. DH and I aren't German, but we did the traditional German beer, food, etc. Maybe it's coincidental that they were busy and it's my imagination. Hope this is the case as I'd never want to offend them.

As a Jew, I'm more disturbed that you noticed the religions of people who weren't there, and are preemptively judging them for it, than I am by your decision to have a German-themed party.

Meh. OP did nothing wrong.

OP is keeping careful track of her Jewish friends and their movements. It's kind of weird. It would never have occurred to me to think that there had to be a reason that my friends didn't show, much less assume it was because of their religion.

I see nothing wrong with OP wondering if no-show invitees who later may have been less warm to her last time they saw one another had a reason to behave that way. Sure OP could be, and probably is, off-base on this but she's trying to consider if she unthinkingly offended someone. You're odd for thinking she's offensive for wondering if she unintentionally offended someone.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I hosted an Oktoberfest party for our neighborhood and noticed that a few of my Jewish friends didn't attend and were kind of quiet with me last time I saw them. DH and I aren't German, but we did the traditional German beer, food, etc. Maybe it's coincidental that they were busy and it's my imagination. Hope this is the case as I'd never want to offend them.

As a Jew, I'm more disturbed that you noticed the religions of people who weren't there, and are preemptively judging them for it, than I am by your decision to have a German-themed party.

Meh. OP did nothing wrong.

OP is keeping careful track of her Jewish friends and their movements. It's kind of weird. It would never have occurred to me to think that there had to be a reason that my friends didn't show, much less assume it was because of their religion.

Anonymous wrote:Many Jews are German.

This.

Many, many Jews in the US are also German American.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I hosted an Oktoberfest party for our neighborhood and noticed that a few of my Jewish friends didn't attend and were kind of quiet with me last time I saw them. DH and I aren't German, but we did the traditional German beer, food, etc. Maybe it's coincidental that they were busy and it's my imagination. Hope this is the case as I'd never want to offend them.

As a Jew, I'm more disturbed that you noticed the religions of people who weren't there, and are preemptively judging them for it, than I am by your decision to have a German-themed party.

Wait -- so you are saying that you, as a Jew, are disturbed by their decision to have a German-themed party. Interesting...

Not so much with the reading comprehension, eh?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I hosted an Oktoberfest party for our neighborhood and noticed that a few of my Jewish friends didn't attend and were kind of quiet with me last time I saw them. DH and I aren't German, but we did the traditional German beer, food, etc. Maybe it's coincidental that they were busy and it's my imagination. Hope this is the case as I'd never want to offend them.

As a Jew, I'm more disturbed that you noticed the religions of people who weren't there, and are preemptively judging them for it, than I am by your decision to have a German-themed party.

Meh. OP did nothing wrong.

Didn't say OP did. Just compared the two. It's one thing to check a calendar for Jewish holidays or think of how something might come off before you have an event. it's another to think after an event "gee, X, Y and Z behaved a certain way, wonder if it is because they are Jewish." IME, the first comes off as generally respectful. The second does not as it is the very definition of stereotyping.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I hosted an Oktoberfest party for our neighborhood and noticed that a few of my Jewish friends didn't attend and were kind of quiet with me last time I saw them. DH and I aren't German, but we did the traditional German beer, food, etc. Maybe it's coincidental that they were busy and it's my imagination. Hope this is the case as I'd never want to offend them.

As a Jew, I'm more disturbed that you noticed the religions of people who weren't there, and are preemptively judging them for it, than I am by your decision to have a German-themed party.

Wait -- so you are saying that you, as a Jew, are disturbed by their decision to have a German-themed party. Interesting...

Did you have it on a Shabbat night?

How old are your friends? My 85 year old Jewish mother doesn't have the best feeling about Germany, although that's faded somewhat over the years. People 60 and below were born long enough after the holocaust that it's pretty much a non issue (not the holocaust itself of course, but associating it with the Germany of today). So if your friends are 35 I suspect it's coincidence, if they are 85 then maybe they don't like to celebrate German culture. Personally I don't like German food, but would probably still come to your party.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I hosted an Oktoberfest party for our neighborhood and noticed that a few of my Jewish friends didn't attend and were kind of quiet with me last time I saw them. DH and I aren't German, but we did the traditional German beer, food, etc. Maybe it's coincidental that they were busy and it's my imagination. Hope this is the case as I'd never want to offend them.

As a Jew, I'm more disturbed that you noticed the religions of people who weren't there, and are preemptively judging them for it, than I am by your decision to have a German-themed party.

Meh. OP did nothing wrong.

Anonymous wrote:I hosted an Oktoberfest party for our neighborhood and noticed that a few of my Jewish friends didn't attend and were kind of quiet with me last time I saw them. DH and I aren't German, but we did the traditional German beer, food, etc. Maybe it's coincidental that they were busy and it's my imagination. Hope this is the case as I'd never want to offend them.

As a Jew, I'm more disturbed that you noticed the religions of people who weren't there, and are preemptively judging them for it, than I am by your decision to have a German-themed party.

Not offensive. My ex is Jewish and his family is half German. He spent a semester in Germany and loved the culture.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Not offensive. Coincidence.

+1

Agree

You did nothing wrong.