Anonymous
Post 10/16/2015 19:20     Subject: How long married? Not how long you have been together. They are different.
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:It makes me wonder why te people couldn't get their acts together to marry sooner. Obviously they had problems.


God- no!! I know HS couples that broke up before college--they dated others, were single, learned about themselves. Should they have married at 18????


You missed the point. If they go on to get married at 28, they can't say they've been together 10 years at that point.
Anonymous
Post 10/16/2015 19:19     Subject: Re:How long married? Not how long you have been together. They are different.
Anonymous wrote:I didn't know it was a competition, OP.

Married 17 years. 20 years from day we met. No breaking up between.

I like to hear the back history. I think it's neat to hear couples knew one another in HS or as kids --even if they weren't dating that whole time.


Then ask for the backstory.
I cant imagine telling someone how long we have been together, when the question was how long have we been married.
It would feel odd.
Anonymous
Post 10/16/2015 19:19     Subject: How long married? Not how long you have been together. They are different.
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:You sound like my 4 year old...everything is a competition (usually fueled by some insecurity).

DH and I have been married 17 years, but we've been together for 22 years. We moved in together within months of meeting each other. We never broke up. Is that good enough for you, OP?

I'm one of those people who answer this way. I do it to indicate that we've essentially grown up together (met in college).

In response, people often answer the same way.

What's the big deal? And why on earth does this bother you?


Why are you so insecure that you have to indicate how long you have been together? Just answer the question asked.


Honestly, most people ask how long we've been together. And I say married for 17, but together for 22. And that usually leads to a follow up question about how we met. It's called chit chat, and as far as I know there really aren't any hard and fast rules.

Anonymous
Post 10/16/2015 19:19     Subject: How long married? Not how long you have been together. They are different.
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:It makes me wonder why te people couldn't get their acts together to marry sooner. Obviously they had problems.


Could be. Maybe that is why they have to justify something.


Most likely. Usually one person is more into it than the other and then the anti marriage person is eventually worn down.
Anonymous
Post 10/16/2015 19:18     Subject: How long married? Not how long you have been together. They are different.
Anonymous wrote:It makes me wonder why te people couldn't get their acts together to marry sooner. Obviously they had problems.


God- no!! I know HS couples that broke up before college--they dated others, were single, learned about themselves. Should they have married at 18????
Anonymous
Post 10/16/2015 19:18     Subject: How long married? Not how long you have been together. They are different.
Anonymous wrote:It makes me wonder why te people couldn't get their acts together to marry sooner. Obviously they had problems.


Could be. Maybe that is why they have to justify something.
Anonymous
Post 10/16/2015 19:17     Subject: How long married? Not how long you have been together. They are different.
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I have been married for 8 years, together for 12 and my child is 38 months.

Now you have some math to really complain about


All that matters is that you have been married four years.


Because OP is the arbiter after she elected herself God.
Anonymous
Post 10/16/2015 19:17     Subject: Re:How long married? Not how long you have been together. They are different.
I didn't know it was a competition, OP.

Married 17 years. 20 years from day we met. No breaking up between.

I like to hear the back history. I think it's neat to hear couples knew one another in HS or as kids --even if they weren't dating that whole time.
Anonymous
Post 10/16/2015 19:17     Subject: How long married? Not how long you have been together. They are different.
It makes me wonder why te people couldn't get their acts together to marry sooner. Obviously they had problems.
Anonymous
Post 10/16/2015 19:16     Subject: How long married? Not how long you have been together. They are different.
Anonymous wrote:I roll my eyes at people who count how long theyve been together in response to this question. Unless you've been gay and could t marry, it's really immature sounding.



totally agree with you
Anonymous
Post 10/16/2015 19:16     Subject: How long married? Not how long you have been together. They are different.
Anonymous wrote:I have been married for 8 years, together for 12 and my child is 38 months.

Now you have some math to really complain about


All that matters is that you have been married four years.
Anonymous
Post 10/16/2015 19:16     Subject: How long married? Not how long you have been together. They are different.
Anonymous wrote:^^ and I pumped 6 oz this evening. Take those numbers!


God bless you for it! Congrats on your new baby!
Anonymous
Post 10/16/2015 19:14     Subject: How long married? Not how long you have been together. They are different.
^^ and I pumped 6 oz this evening. Take those numbers!
Anonymous
Post 10/16/2015 19:14     Subject: How long married? Not how long you have been together. They are different.
Anonymous wrote:I think you may be thinking of me? In the Angie and Brad thread?

I answer that DH and I have been together 11 years though married six because that's very different than someone who's been married six years but met their spouse three months prior. There's a different base there.


Why do you have to justify the base? If you wanted cresit for being married 11 years, then you should have married earlier.
See its YOU competing. Why do you feel superior to those others who have been married six years?
Anonymous
Post 10/16/2015 19:14     Subject: How long married? Not how long you have been together. They are different.
18:51 Here: it's OP who's crazy competitive and immature, even with her own friends, which is why she put MARRIED in all caps.

OP, what about LGBT couples who've been together for decades but just recently found the right to marry?

Do you make an exception for them? Or do their marriage licenses count as a restart to you?