Anonymous
10/16/2015 12:15
Subject: In-laws and vacation house bs with SIL
The 21-year-old gets the pullout couch. And she brings her own car. The fact that you would rather fake an illness than tell her these things is the real problem.
Anonymous
10/16/2015 11:27
Subject: In-laws and vacation house bs with SIL
Maybe dh's divorced friend wouldn't mind having a sorority girl around for the wknd!
Anonymous
10/16/2015 10:58
Subject: In-laws and vacation house bs with SIL
OP, you are being REALLY weird about this. If your SIL is up there almost every weekend, why on earth are you not comfortable calling her and saying, "We had reserved this weekend for us and our friends. There is no room for you this weekend."
Why are you tiptoeing around her?
Or, if you feel like it's not your place to talk to her, why not have your husband say to his mom, "Mom, this is the only time we've ever asked to use the house, and we've already made plans. We are not comfortable asking our friends to sleep on the couch. Could you please tell sister to come another weekend? If not, we will have to cancel plans we'e had for two months."
Why, why, why are you being so passive about this?
(And, jesus, do not have your guests sleep on a pull out. Step up.)
Why are you tiptoeing around her?
Or, if you feel like it's not your place to talk to her, why not have your husband say to his mom, "Mom, this is the only time we've ever asked to use the house, and we've already made plans. We are not comfortable asking our friends to sleep on the couch. Could you please tell sister to come another weekend? If not, we will have to cancel plans we'e had for two months."
Why, why, why are you being so passive about this?
(And, jesus, do not have your guests sleep on a pull out. Step up.)
Anonymous
10/16/2015 10:58
Subject: In-laws and vacation house bs with SIL
Anonymous wrote:hoping to avoid that (which is why I prescheduled this and made sure no one would be there) as I am pregnant. I was more worried about the two adult males sharing a bed together. Were all longtime friends, but that might be a bit close for comfort. I'm about to come down with a sudden cough I think, and let DH go down there and deal with this on his own. I just thought I'd plan a fun weekend for him and his friends and I would DD and take them around. I got my dad to babysit and havent been anywhere in so long! Sucks SIL has to impose on this. She can't stand her brother or I and is 21 so I don't know why she even wants to tag along. it is his parents house, I don't think either of us is comfortable with asking her to stay home. Just maybe after this baby comes out, our brood might suddenly need a trip away when she's got the house full of her sorority sisters. I'm sure they wouldn't mind a toddler, baby and breast feeding mother tagging along for a fun day out!
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU? Be an adult. Either pick up the phone and explain the situation to SIL, or ask DH to do so.
And by the way, it's not about what YOU are comfortable with/think is right, at is is not. your. house. If your MIL thinks this is all fine, then guess what? It is. Because it is her house.
Anonymous
10/16/2015 10:56
Subject: In-laws and vacation house bs with SIL
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Sorry but if sil is there, your guests get the rooms and either you or sil get the couch. Don't put your guests on the couch.
SIL gets the couch. OP and her husband "reserved" the house well in advance. Let your friends put their stuff in the rooms. Tell SIL in advance that you invited friends and all the bedrooms are taken. Period.
This is actually the perfect solution.
Anonymous
10/16/2015 10:49
Subject: Re:In-laws and vacation house bs with SIL
Anonymous wrote:You can't put 2 grown men on a pullout couch.
I think it's more than possible for this to be resolved nicely by your husband calling and talking with his sister or his mother. This is not a big deal unless you allow it to become a big deal.
This is just weird. We have slept in the same tent on camping trips which is way closer quarters than this, you are there for good company not beauty sleep.
Anonymous
10/16/2015 10:48
Subject: In-laws and vacation house bs with SIL
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Seriously--- tell DH to call SIL and tell her not to come.
Depending on family dynamics, I would definately consider this option. Maybe SIL doesn't know you're bringing friends?
I don't know, maybe SIL takes care of things for MIL or does upkeep on this place. If she is there every weekend like you say, then maybe she feels she 'reserved' it first. You have never been there so I assume you haven't helped out at all.
Honestly, why not just some hotel rooms, and your the guys go a little wild and let off some steam, and not have to worry about breaking or making a mess at you ILs? This MIL-SIL relation is not something you want to meddle with, there will be blowback.
Anonymous
10/16/2015 10:46
Subject: Re:In-laws and vacation house bs with SIL
You can't put 2 grown men on a pullout couch.
I think it's more than possible for this to be resolved nicely by your husband calling and talking with his sister or his mother. This is not a big deal unless you allow it to become a big deal.
I think it's more than possible for this to be resolved nicely by your husband calling and talking with his sister or his mother. This is not a big deal unless you allow it to become a big deal.
Anonymous
10/16/2015 10:45
Subject: In-laws and vacation house bs with SIL
Why would you have to take a second car? To accomodate the sister? Noooo, no. Don't drive her entitled self around! And make HER sleep on the sofa if she insists on going!!!
Anonymous
10/16/2015 10:42
Subject: In-laws and vacation house bs with SIL
Anonymous wrote:My in-laws have a winter house that we have never stayed at before. My SIL stays almost every weekend and brings friends, etc to stay with her all the time by herself with no one batting an eyelash.
My dhs best friend is going through a divorce and I prescheduled with MIL and made sure that the house was available and the rooms were not being used and then invited some of DHs friends to join us this weekend for a mini trip.
Well now the day we are leaving, MIL just called and said SIL is going to be at the house and wants her room to use. So I have to shove two grown adult men onto a pullout couch when they were told they would have their own sleeping areas with private bathrooms.
I'm so annoyed. Can we have one time down without them taking it over? SIL was just there last weekend with 3 friends and got a limo wine tour from MIL for them to just go and have fun. I'm pissed and want to cancel the whole trip and just plan something up here. It's their house I understand, but we have never asked to use it before. This is the first and last time.
Um, no you don't what you and DH "have to" do is tell SIL that the house is spoken for this weekend and she can have it from now on AFTERWARDS.
Anonymous
10/16/2015 10:42
Subject: In-laws and vacation house bs with SIL
hoping to avoid that (which is why I prescheduled this and made sure no one would be there) as I am pregnant. I was more worried about the two adult males sharing a bed together. Were all longtime friends, but that might be a bit close for comfort. I'm about to come down with a sudden cough I think, and let DH go down there and deal with this on his own. I just thought I'd plan a fun weekend for him and his friends and I would DD and take them around. I got my dad to babysit and havent been anywhere in so long! Sucks SIL has to impose on this. She can't stand her brother or I and is 21 so I don't know why she even wants to tag along. it is his parents house, I don't think either of us is comfortable with asking her to stay home. Just maybe after this baby comes out, our brood might suddenly need a trip away when she's got the house full of her sorority sisters. I'm sure they wouldn't mind a toddler, baby and breast feeding mother tagging along for a fun day out! 
Anonymous
10/16/2015 10:41
Subject: In-laws and vacation house bs with SIL
Anonymous wrote:Sorry pressed send too soon. I do have a right to be annoyed yes? They absolutely favor SIL, but always offer the house to us. DH has not been with his friends for the past year, and we had reservations and the car planned for one vehicle. Now with her there, we will have to take two cars. I feel like DH can never just have a time to himself. It's always his sister or both of them. I'm fuming right now. I have been planning this for 2 months and followed up just two weeks ago to make sure it was still okay for us to use the house.
Why would you have to take two cars? If your SIL is just showing up, I think she can take care of herself. You have whatever plans you have with your friends. You are not obligated to include her.
Anonymous
10/16/2015 10:40
Subject: In-laws and vacation house bs with SIL
Anonymous wrote:Sorry but if sil is there, your guests get the rooms and either you or sil get the couch. Don't put your guests on the couch.
SIL gets the couch. OP and her husband "reserved" the house well in advance. Let your friends put their stuff in the rooms. Tell SIL in advance that you invited friends and all the bedrooms are taken. Period.
Anonymous
10/16/2015 10:32
Subject: In-laws and vacation house bs with SIL
Anonymous wrote:DH needs to step up here. Call his parents and explain. Call his sister and tell her to back off.
This. THIS! Your husband needs to be active in getting this resolved.
Anonymous
10/16/2015 10:08
Subject: In-laws and vacation house bs with SIL
Why would you put your guests on the the couch? Try to get sister in law not to come, but if she does and insists on her bedroom, you should not put your guests on the he couch while taking the bedroom for yourself. That's incredibly rude.