I have found that for a misbehaving preschool-aged child, a swat on the bottom solves the problem in about two seconds. When a young child is being directly defiant or disobedient (example: slamming the bathroom door over and over again, after being asked to stop), a quick "you have chosen a spanking," followed by one or two swats, means that the lesson has been imparted: Don't disobey mommy. It worked in my house. If it didn't work for you and torus, that's fine. Everyone parents differently.

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Anonymous wrote:I spank but very rarely (once a month, maybe). It works, but I'd be lying if I said I didn't feel bad about doing it. Sometimes it's the only thing that will get my kid to shape up.

I think on DCUM you'll find that a majority of the posters will tell you it's unnecessary and abusive.

You think spanking once a month equates to "very rarely"?

It's all relative, babe.

If you're doing it once a month and feel bad about it, maybe it's time to consider that it's not working.

Like I said...it works. I do have a conscience and don't enjoy smacking my kid's bottom, but sometimes it's the only thing that nips the offending behavior in the bud.

But it's clearly not working, if you have to spank once a month. Think about it.

Do we apply that same logic to all disciplinary techniques?

I try to, yeah.

NP here. So you never apply any disciplinary technique at all once a month - no telling your kid no, no time outs, nothing?

I don't think of telling my kid "no" as a disciplinary technique.

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Anonymous wrote:I spank but very rarely (once a month, maybe). It works, but I'd be lying if I said I didn't feel bad about doing it. Sometimes it's the only thing that will get my kid to shape up.

I think on DCUM you'll find that a majority of the posters will tell you it's unnecessary and abusive.

You think spanking once a month equates to "very rarely"?

It's all relative, babe.

If you're doing it once a month and feel bad about it, maybe it's time to consider that it's not working.

Like I said...it works. I do have a conscience and don't enjoy smacking my kid's bottom, but sometimes it's the only thing that nips the offending behavior in the bud.

But it's clearly not working, if you have to spank once a month. Think about it.

Do we apply that same logic to all disciplinary techniques?

I try to, yeah.

Then whatever disciplining technique you are doing probably isn't working either. How many time outs, loss of privileges, etc.. has your kid had?

Oh, way too many to count! Now we try to set clear expectations and consequences with kid input, and go mostly with natural or logical consequences.

I showed my kids 4, and 8, the part of Silence of the Lambs where Buffalo Bill has his victim in the well (they aren't old enough to see the whole thing yet). Whenever they miss behave I bellow "it does what I says or it gets the hose." Very effective.

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Anonymous wrote:I spank but very rarely (once a month, maybe). It works, but I'd be lying if I said I didn't feel bad about doing it. Sometimes it's the only thing that will get my kid to shape up.

I think on DCUM you'll find that a majority of the posters will tell you it's unnecessary and abusive.

You think spanking once a month equates to "very rarely"?

It's all relative, babe.

If you're doing it once a month and feel bad about it, maybe it's time to consider that it's not working.

Like I said...it works. I do have a conscience and don't enjoy smacking my kid's bottom, but sometimes it's the only thing that nips the offending behavior in the bud.

But it's clearly not working, if you have to spank once a month. Think about it.

Do we apply that same logic to all disciplinary techniques?

I try to, yeah.

NP here. So you never apply any disciplinary technique at all once a month - no telling your kid no, no time outs, nothing?

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Anonymous wrote:We do spank. Never out of anger, however. I think that's the key- like PP said, there are a few things that are an automatic spanking in our house. Like any consequence, the kids KNOW why they are being spanked, and we discuss the issue before and after the correction. Hugs, kisses, and reflection on how we can do better next time. And then it's done, and we move on. No different than other consequences.

I am not a fan of the impromptu whack on the butt stuff.

Creeppppyyyy.

+1. Impromptu is not at all okay, but at least it's somewhat logical that a parent might lose control. What isn't logical is that an adult might "calmly" call a child over and start hitting them.

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Anonymous wrote:I spank but very rarely (once a month, maybe). It works, but I'd be lying if I said I didn't feel bad about doing it. Sometimes it's the only thing that will get my kid to shape up.

I think on DCUM you'll find that a majority of the posters will tell you it's unnecessary and abusive.

You think spanking once a month equates to "very rarely"?

It's all relative, babe.

If you're doing it once a month and feel bad about it, maybe it's time to consider that it's not working.

Like I said...it works. I do have a conscience and don't enjoy smacking my kid's bottom, but sometimes it's the only thing that nips the offending behavior in the bud.

But it's clearly not working, if you have to spank once a month. Think about it.

Do we apply that same logic to all disciplinary techniques?

I try to, yeah.

Then whatever disciplining technique you are doing probably isn't working either. How many time outs, loss of privileges, etc.. has your kid had?

Anonymous wrote:We do spank. Never out of anger, however. I think that's the key- like PP said, there are a few things that are an automatic spanking in our house. Like any consequence, the kids KNOW why they are being spanked, and we discuss the issue before and after the correction. Hugs, kisses, and reflection on how we can do better next time. And then it's done, and we move on. No different than other consequences.

I am not a fan of the impromptu whack on the butt stuff.

Creeppppyyyy.

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Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I spank but very rarely (once a month, maybe). It works, but I'd be lying if I said I didn't feel bad about doing it. Sometimes it's the only thing that will get my kid to shape up.

I think on DCUM you'll find that a majority of the posters will tell you it's unnecessary and abusive.

You think spanking once a month equates to "very rarely"?

It's all relative, babe.

If you're doing it once a month and feel bad about it, maybe it's time to consider that it's not working.

Like I said...it works. I do have a conscience and don't enjoy smacking my kid's bottom, but sometimes it's the only thing that nips the offending behavior in the bud.

But it's clearly not working, if you have to spank once a month. Think about it.

Do we apply that same logic to all disciplinary techniques?

I try to, yeah.

Yes, and I feel no guilt. He is very high-strung, and we tried about 10+ other techniques that didn't work first before doing so. It works and is the only thing that works - judge lest ye be judged and such.

Yes, I sometimes hit my children on the fundament. Shamelessly.

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I spank but very rarely (once a month, maybe). It works, but I'd be lying if I said I didn't feel bad about doing it. Sometimes it's the only thing that will get my kid to shape up.

I think on DCUM you'll find that a majority of the posters will tell you it's unnecessary and abusive.

You think spanking once a month equates to "very rarely"?

It's all relative, babe.

If you're doing it once a month and feel bad about it, maybe it's time to consider that it's not working.

Like I said...it works. I do have a conscience and don't enjoy smacking my kid's bottom, but sometimes it's the only thing that nips the offending behavior in the bud.

But it's clearly not working, if you have to spank once a month. Think about it.

Do we apply that same logic to all disciplinary techniques?

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I spank but very rarely (once a month, maybe). It works, but I'd be lying if I said I didn't feel bad about doing it. Sometimes it's the only thing that will get my kid to shape up.

I think on DCUM you'll find that a majority of the posters will tell you it's unnecessary and abusive.

You think spanking once a month equates to "very rarely"?

It's all relative, babe.

If you're doing it once a month and feel bad about it, maybe it's time to consider that it's not working.

Like I said...it works. I do have a conscience and don't enjoy smacking my kid's bottom, but sometimes it's the only thing that nips the offending behavior in the bud.

But it's clearly not working, if you have to spank once a month. Think about it.

We do spank. Never out of anger, however. I think that's the key- like PP said, there are a few things that are an automatic spanking in our house. Like any consequence, the kids KNOW why they are being spanked, and we discuss the issue before and after the correction. Hugs, kisses, and reflection on how we can do better next time. And then it's done, and we move on. No different than other consequences.

I am not a fan of the impromptu whack on the butt stuff.

I have as a last resort when my kids were 5+. Open hand, never with an object.