Anonymous wrote:I'm another with a teen boy with the same problem. He learned to speak up for himself. At a restaurant, he will say "may I please have a sprite in a glass" - so that they don't bring him a kids cup. And he also says he prefers an adult menu. I have noticed at a park or with strangers, he quickly says something about the name of his middle school or his grade so that no one assumes he is an elementary school kid. Again, once he starts talking, it's clear he's older but it's hard when meeting someone new.
He sounds very mature. You've done a good job with him. I wish OP would think about treating her daughter more like a boy in terms of fostering maturity rather than focusing on looks. It will serve her better in the long run.