Anonymous
10/13/2015 21:29
Subject: Re:S/O: Family does not equal a free pass for all of us!
Well, I disagree. When I hear "it's my house and I get to set the rules," what that sounds like to me is "we will have dinner at 6:00 only and no one will dry their hands on the special white towels and no wire hangers." Maybe I just don't have awful family members or in-laws but I err on the side of being flexible with them. Demanding control just sets up power struggles and doesn't sound like a warm family dynamic.
Anonymous
10/13/2015 11:15
Subject: Re:S/O: Family does not equal a free pass for all of us!
Anonymous wrote:+1000 And when I try to set boundaries (read: hotel) I am told that family doesn't cut family out and that I was raised better than that.
ha, same here! My mom just doesn't understand why we don't want to stay in her two bedroom house with 8 other people, her two unruly dogs that I have a phobia of, the cat my husband is deathly allergic to....I just ignore the passive aggressive things she's going to say when we visit but stay at a hotel (and, you know , limit visits in the first place).
Anonymous
10/13/2015 10:44
Subject: S/O: Family does not equal a free pass for all of us!
Pity those who haven't grow up enough (or aren't self reliant enough - - financially perhaps??) to disappoint mommy & daddy
Anonymous
10/13/2015 10:38
Subject: Re:S/O: Family does not equal a free pass for all of us!
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:+1000 And when I try to set boundaries (read: hotel) I am told that family doesn't cut family out and that I was raised better than that.
YES. Never mind how miserable people actually are when too many guests are crowded in one house, meals are chaotic, etc. my husband and I volunteer to stay in a hotel for holidays at my ILs, and you would think we had slapped somebody. So there we are, on a pull out in an unfinished/unseated basement...
This is part of what OP is talking about. Respect yourself enough to not be pressured or pushed around simply bc a family member feels differently. Your life = your choice!
When I go home to visit, we stay at my hold hood home for a couple days bc that is what I like to do. The rest of the visit we stay at a hotel bc that is where DH is most comfortable. If I gave into family, we would stay at their house the whole time. My life, my choice, period.
hold hood = childhood
Anonymous
10/13/2015 10:37
Subject: Re:S/O: Family does not equal a free pass for all of us!
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:+1000 And when I try to set boundaries (read: hotel) I am told that family doesn't cut family out and that I was raised better than that.
YES. Never mind how miserable people actually are when too many guests are crowded in one house, meals are chaotic, etc. my husband and I volunteer to stay in a hotel for holidays at my ILs, and you would think we had slapped somebody. So there we are, on a pull out in an unfinished/unseated basement...
This is part of what OP is talking about. Respect yourself enough to not be pressured or pushed around simply bc a family member feels differently. Your life = your choice!
When I go home to visit, we stay at my hold hood home for a couple days bc that is what I like to do. The rest of the visit we stay at a hotel bc that is where DH is most comfortable. If I gave into family, we would stay at their house the whole time. My life, my choice, period.
Anonymous
10/13/2015 10:32
Subject: S/O: Family does not equal a free pass for all of us!
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:You felt the need to start a thread on this topic. Someone has control issues...
You felt the need to comment. Someone has judgement issues...
+1
