Anonymous wrote:OP, you are better off contacting your girlfriend and working things out from there.
You know her better than anyone here.
All you will get here is women who mostly hate men.
I also suggest you do a little soul searching before you reach out to your girlfriend.

Anonymous wrote:OP, I really think you should just move on. My cousin had cancer and couldn't have kids. Her boyfriend looked pressured and miserable through the whole cancer, engagement, wedding. They ended up divorced. She re-married someone a bit more mature who was aware of her health issues. They had a daughter together. I didn't pry and ask how. Maybe she froze her eggs before she had radiation treatment for cancer. I don't know.

No one knows what will happen in life. You could be the one with health diagnosis tomorrow. Your reaction seems like a spoiled child who isn't getting his way. Just break up with her. You both will move on.

You could break up with her, and just let her know that the news made you realize that you aren't ready for a relationship.

Anonymous wrote:OP here. I don't think me getting dunk was the issue. Without going into too much detail I will provide the bad news. Last week she found her chance of fertility is 10%. She has dealt with pcos and ovarian cysts. 5 out of 8 women in her family have had endometriosis and ovarian or cervical cancer.

We both really want children. This was and is devestating news. We had a discussion and I told her I was unsure if I can see a future without children. She said she loves me but understands if this is a deal breaker. She doesn't want me to give up or ruin my dream of having a family.

I wasn't as supportive as I should of been. I told she I needed time to digest things. I forgot my iPad is synced to my phone and she read emails between my sister and I. I said that I didn't I could live life w.o have a bio child and I want a wife that can give me that. I was very emotional and did not mean I would end anything with her.

She ( girlfriend) wrote that she was disappointed by me choosing to go out and get drunk, rather than be there for her. Also telling my sister upset her. This is why she said she needed a break.

Anonymous wrote:

It's not a bad thing to want a biological child. Don't let anyone shame you for feeling that way.

No one is saying that it IS a bad thing. But OP isn't the one with fertility issues. HE could still end up with a biological kid through surrogacy or donor eggs. But his immediate response was not to support his partner, but to wallow in his own self-pity and to turn outward for support.

In his girlfriend's shoes, I'd look at this and think "This is not the guy I want at my side if our child is born with special needs, or if I get breast cancer, or basically if life happens."

It's not a bad thing to want a biological child. Don't let anyone shame you for feeling that way.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There are too many red flags (from you)...Let her go, she deserves someone else.

Agreed. In a stressful situation, your first response was to cut her out, talk to your sister, and then get smashed and make her take care of YOU.

Guess what? Like isn't all rainbows and roses. People get hurt. People get sick. People lose their jobs. Any of these things could happen in the future, and you've just demonstrated that you are not the kind of man she wants to be with when things get real.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. I don't think me getting dunk was the issue. Without going into too much detail I will provide the bad news. Last week she found her chance of fertility is 10%. She has dealt with pcos and ovarian cysts. 5 out of 8 women in her family have had endometriosis and ovarian or cervical cancer.

We both really want children. This was and is devestating news. We had a discussion and I told her I was unsure if I can see a future without children. She said she loves me but understands if this is a deal breaker. She doesn't want me to give up or ruin my dream of having a family.

I wasn't as supportive as I should of been. I told she I needed time to digest things. I forgot my iPad is synced to my phone and she read emails between my sister and I. I said that I didn't I could live life w.o have a bio child and I want a wife that can give me that. I was very emotional and did not mean I would end anything with her.

She ( girlfriend) wrote that she was disappointed by me choosing to go out and get drunk, rather than be there for her. Also telling my sister upset her. This is why she said she needed a break.

Oh, OP. This all sucks. First, I'm sorry for the bad news, I can understand why that would be devastating. But yeah, your reaction was terrible, and I can understand why she was hurt and is questioning the relationship. No matter how you feel about her today and no matter what you say to her, she has no assurance that you won't feel differently after you've been married a few years, aren't able to have biological children together, and won't decide to leave her to find someone who can give you that. I'm glad you're respecting her need for space right now, as painful as it is.

You should be taking some space of your own right now too, though. You may have been very emotional when you wrote that email to your sister, but that doesn't mean that it wasn't your real feelings you were expressing. Do your best not to play out the scenario in my prior paragraph. If not having a biological child would be a dealbreaker for you, it's so much better for both of you to be honest about this now than carry it into marriage. Yes, it would be painful to end the relationship, but it would be that much more painful later.

Anonymous wrote:There are too many red flags (from you)...Let her go, she deserves someone else.