Nanny here. I've asked MB/DB what issues they want asked when one of my charges goes on a playdate, and they were completely clueless. So, I go with my list:

Do you own any weapons? You do, very nice, can I ask what you have? Oh, you have a couple knives and a bow and a gun, how do you store those? Oh, you only lock up the gun, nope, I'm sorry, Larlo can't go over to your house, but we'd love to have you come to ours or meet us at the park!

Do you have a pool, trampoline or other hazard? You have a tramp, what fun! Is it accessible to the kids when you aren't supervising? It's not, wonderful! Larla would love to spend time at your house!

Do you have pets? You have a yard full of dogs and zillions of cats? (Mental thought: where are the kids supposed to have room to play?!) Oh, they're all confined away from children during a play date. While that's not necessary as long as the animals aren't violent, given how many you have, I appreciate it.

Btw, those are actual playdate invites and the jist of the conversation. In the case of the dad with the weapons, he stored the gun correctly, but didn't even consider storing the knives anywhere other than a drawer, and the bow case was never locked.

People assume (and rightfully so) that we own firearms because of DH's job. I've said this before and I'll say it again. There are so many wives out there who have no clue what their husbands have in their closets.

These are the people you need to worry about. There are several homes we will not let the kids go to because the husband is keeping the fact that he has a firearm from his wife. If the wife doesn't know, the kids aren't educated and may come across it by just being kids and exploring.

We have friends across the political spectrum and host play dates here all of the time. Only one friend asked how our firearms were stored and I was happy to explain.

It is so depressing to me how many people own guns.

We ask and do so by first volunteering that we do not own any guns and never will.

Anonymous wrote:Gun owner here- I hope you told the parents that the teenager showed the gun off. It is absolutely not okay.

i wouldn't ask.

It's no just "not O.K."

It's illegal, and possibly would be considered rising to the level of child neglect.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have never been asked and never asked. We have guns in the home and have educated our children about them, although as we all know there's no such thing as a "gun proof" child.

I have also never been asked about a pool, which we also have, which is much more likely to cause harm to their children. Nor have we been asked about the trampoline, pogo stick, stilts, skates, skate board, bikes, helmet rules...

I have been asked about allergens and dogs (for a child with a fear of, not an allergy of)

We have a gun and a pool and a trampoline. But a mother once called me screaming because I was letting her kid and mine run through the yard holding sticks. "THEY COULD HAVE POKED AN EYE OUT! OR WORSE!"

DH and I laughed about it for weeks.

You're a fucking idiot.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm a newcomer to the area, and my eight-year-old is sometimes asked over for playdates with his new friends, which is great - except that last week he informed me that a friend's teenage son had showed them the parents' (unloaded) revolver. Yikes.

It's never occurred to me to ask other parents whether they keep guns around - we moved here from a country where basically only hunters and farmers have them.

Is this something you ask parents of new friends, before you permit an unsupervised playdate?

Please no gun rights/gun bans arguing; I just want to know if the question is considered OK or impolite. Thanks!

After that experience - I would absolutely ask, and use that as the excuse.

"Sure, Larlo would love to come over play. I need to ask, though - do you have guns in the house? He was at a play date and his friend's teenaged brother showed them an unloaded gun. I just want to make sure...blah, blah, blah."

Anyone that has an issue with that should need to go and suck it.

We do own guns (my DH hunts), and they ARE locked away, with the ammunition is in a separate locked place.

And you definitely need to TELL the parents their kid showed the little ones a gun!

No, PP needs to "tell" THE POLICE.

And child protective services.

The kind of Moron who is negligent enough or ignorant enough to permit their child AND SOMEONE else's child access to a gun without any supervision is the kind of moron who should not have a gun at all. "He found the key." What a stupid fuckwit that gun owner is, then. A safe is no good if you GIVE YOUR KID ACCESS TO THE KEY.

You think there is no ammo in that house?

You think one day the sociopath who took the gun out of the safe couldn't find the ammo and load the gun, then play a little game of russian roulette with someone else's child?

Anonymous wrote:I have never been asked and never asked. We have guns in the home and have educated our children about them, although as we all know there's no such thing as a "gun proof" child.

I have also never been asked about a pool, which we also have, which is much more likely to cause harm to their children. Nor have we been asked about the trampoline, pogo stick, stilts, skates, skate board, bikes, helmet rules...

I have been asked about allergens and dogs (for a child with a fear of, not an allergy of)

This is the exact kind of asinine responsibility deflecting comment that "anti gun" zealots use to justify their zealotry, PP.

"No such thing as a gun proof child" = YOU as the parent and gun owner being unwilling to be 100% responsible for safe keeping of your weapons and keeping them away from the kids at all costs.

YOU are the problem, you irresponsible fool.

NO. Do not invite the little "gunslinger" over to your house either.

TERMINATE the friendship.

The kind of fools who play with "unloaded" guns they filtched from their grossly negligent parents' closets are exactly the kind of little shit heads it is your obligation as a parent to keep your kids far away from, at all costs.

He went over to some kid's house who was playing with an "unloaded" gun? (How do you really know that?)

HELL.

NO.

Anonymous wrote:Gun owner here- I hope you told the parents that the teenager showed the gun off. It is absolutely not okay.

i wouldn't ask.

Yes I did. Apparently the kid had found the key to the safe, is what they told me, but I think we will have future play dates only at our house.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would ask, but it would be with any other line of questions. I personally would not be offended and would gladly offer details. But I do agree that there are plenty of other things to be concerned about, its not just guns that can seriously harm a child.


Thanks for the invite for Larla to come over to play. She is so excited to see Darla. Since it will be her first time coming over to play unattended, would you mind letting me know a little bit about your household and safety routines.

Hopefully that is enough, but you could be more specific.

If you asked me that I would have no idea what to say in response. "We follow stop, drop and roll"? I would have no idea what safety routines you mean. "Flee and grab any living thing you see on your way out"? It would just make me think you're weird. Whereas if you said, "Thanks for the invite. Do you have guns? If so, how are they stored?" I'd just think you're careful and would know to say "Nope, no guns here. See Darla Thursday!"

+1. I would think you're talking about alarm systems.

Anonymous wrote:I'm a newcomer to the area, and my eight-year-old is sometimes asked over for playdates with his new friends, which is great - except that last week he informed me that a friend's teenage son had showed them the parents' (unloaded) revolver. Yikes.

It's never occurred to me to ask other parents whether they keep guns around - we moved here from a country where basically only hunters and farmers have them.

Is this something you ask parents of new friends, before you permit an unsupervised playdate?

Please no gun rights/gun bans arguing; I just want to know if the question is considered OK or impolite. Thanks!

After that experience - I would absolutely ask, and use that as the excuse.

"Sure, Larlo would love to come over play. I need to ask, though - do you have guns in the house? He was at a play date and his friend's teenaged brother showed them an unloaded gun. I just want to make sure...blah, blah, blah."

Anyone that has an issue with that should need to go and suck it.

We do own guns (my DH hunts), and they ARE locked away, with the ammunition is in a separate locked place.

And you definitely need to TELL the parents their kid showed the little ones a gun!

I don't count on parents to be honest or vigilant, or for their kids to NOT be curious. I have talked to DD many, many times about what to do if she sees a gun. I have assured her she will not be in trouble if she tells me, and I will not forbid her from being friends with a kid whose parents leave a gun out.

She is 12. I had her watch the episode of Beverly Hills 90210 where David Silver's best friend Scott accidentally shoots himself dead. She cried. She got it though.

I do, and I usually give a reminder about my son's tendency to be impulsive. He does not always do the right or sensible thing, which makes it more important for him to stay away from homes where rules regarding weapons are lax.

^ ^ Ds is 13 now, he's been going over there for a few years.