Sorry, typo, should read encourage not imposer.

I knew a mom at a top private who was a complete wackadoodle. She was a climber and constantly trying to get friends through her children's social interactions (playdates, activities, etc). She was always talking about who she knew (although very superficially), which neighborhood she lived in (although worst house in said neighborhood), how rude, mean, or ill-mannered other people where (blind to her own behavior), and always wanted to know what everyone else was doing after school or on weekends. Once people got to know her they realized she was crazy, insecure, hypocritical, and socially intolerable. This realization would result in them stepping back from the relationship and putting a wall up. Not wanting to be rude or cause an inappropriate confrontation, many people never actually told her she was crazy and had issues, they just quietly backed off or remained very superficial with her. She did not take this backing off very well and became even more crazy, insecure, and socially intolerable. She even blamed other people (paranoia) for her lack of friends and inability to climb higher up the social ladder. She completely lacked the insight that it was she who was the problem and no one else. Unfortunately, people like this will never change. Their psychological issues run deep and they will always live in a state of angst. Very sad and pathetic situation, especially for the children who will likely learn from her bad habits and continue the cycle or be damaged emotionally themselves.

That being said, get over your issues with social media posts. Whether bad or good, they are part of our life and children's future. Do not pass your insecurity and jealousy issues with it onto your children, instead teach them to be confident and imposer them to have their own party and make new friends.

Anonymous wrote:OP is far to sensitive and emotionally immature. We are not in high school anymore, we should not get upset if friends get together with other friends and you are not included in everything. Maybe they are sending a message and you need to find another group of friends. Don't wait to be asked to join, find your own group who likes you and won't exclude you. I feel like a parent talking to my teenage child. Ugh!

Says the mean queen bee!

Anonymous wrote:Yes it's rude but that's how the Queen Bees let people know who's in and who's out.

THIS! It's not enough to have people "in" and "out," they have to let you know it.

Here's my advice:IGNORE them. Washington being what it is, in two years, they'll hate each other. Vehemently. By staying out of it, you get to skip the drama. Consider that a gift.

Your child will survive.

Do a favor for your blood pressure. Don't spend too much FB time on people you hate. Yes, you hate them.

OP, the point of FB is to share information about yourself, your interests, your family, etc to those who are friends. If the social interaction is not what you are looking for and you feel this type of social anxiety, then you need to either unfriend or block posts from the mother of the other child. If you take your mouse and hover over the person's name on FB, you will have options to "unfollow" the person which should decrease the amount of things that you see from the person. If you still get too much share with you that you don't want, then unfriend the person.

But in the long run, I agree with other PPs that you need to develop a thicker social skin. Everyone has different levels of friends from close friends, to casual friends, to acquaintances and you need to learn and teach your child that not everyone is going to be a close friend and that people will share information about what they are doing with close friends. Many of us like to see what folks are up to, including with people who we may be more casual friends with. I have way too many friends who were close pre-children that I don't really have time to keep up with but I do like to see what they and their children are up to. It does not reflect on me when I am not invited to participate even when our children are close in age. If you feel that this is insensitive then you need to withdraw from the social interaction on FB, because you aren't interested in the social aspects unless you are included and that's not an appropriate reaction. Not everyone can and should be included in everything after preschool. If it is at the preschool level, it's only an issue for you and not for your child as your child is probably unaware that this all is going on.

Op it loks like you really hit a nerve!

P

OP is far to sensitive and emotionally immature. We are not in high school anymore, we should not get upset if friends get together with other friends and you are not included in everything. Maybe they are sending a message and you need to find another group of friends. Don't wait to be asked to join, find your own group who likes you and won't exclude you. I feel like a parent talking to my teenage child. Ugh!

Yeah, it's rude. Those who say it's the reality of social media are right, but the reality of social media is often rude. If people want to exclude others from their private get togethers that's their right, but it's tacky to broadcast the fact of this exclusion to the world. If I can't/don't invite someone to a party I don't send them pictures of it.

I do agree there's some hypersensitivity here but from the looks of these posts it's not OP's. The aggressive "get over it and work on your hypersensitivity" posts might well be translated as, "I do this myself and am lashing out because I don't like being reminded that it's bad manners."

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Your elementary school kids need to get used to this, because it will only get worse once they are in middle/high school and start using social media. They will need to develop a thick skin, so why not just start now. It is the reality of social media.

Probably right but I can still have an opinion about it and MY opinion is that it is really immature and insensitive to girls in her grade (we are not in that grade).

You care WAY too much about this, OP. And no one believes your kid isn't the one left out.

Anonymous wrote:This is why I'm not on Facebook. That, and privacy.

+ 1

Why would you care to know what others are doing? I am not on FB and I am happier for it. I have my group of friends and a full life. My kids are busy and they are happy to chill on the off days when they have nothing to do. Why all this unnecessary stress?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Isn't it insensitive for parents to keep posting pictures of their daughter with the same small group of friends at the pre and post parties for whatever events are going on - especially in
elementary school? I can only think this must make other parents feel left out and if this behavior continues once the girls get older, it does not set a good tone of being inclusive for the girls in the grade. Please
consider your actions.

As a parent, you should be more emotionally mature than your elementary-aged child, and therefore able to understand that some people form closer friendships and thus spend more time on those people. Then you can help your child navigate the issue in an emotionally healthy way.

Wow some really mean people on these forums. 0P here and I never said that my child or I am personally upset by this. In fact, my child is not even in the same grade as this person. It just struck me as insensitive when I went on Facebook and yet again there is the same mother posting all of these pictures of all these gatherings which invite "some" of the group of friends but leave out others. I don't know what kind of school you go to, but the school where we are really tries encourage inclusivity and I guess this parent didn't get the memo. It's fine to have a little gathering party but why do you have to go on Facebook and let everybody know that you had all these gatherings. We are usually more discreet instead of throwing it in everyone's face. That's all.

OP, disagreeing with you isn't the same thing as being mean. It might help you to work on your emotional resilience.

OP, you are way too sensitive to be on Facebook. Getting bothered by something that doesn't even involve you or your child? Really, not trying to be mean, but save yourself self-inflicted angst & stay off Facebook.

Anonymous wrote:Your elementary school kids need to get used to this, because it will only get worse once they are in middle/high school and start using social media. They will need to develop a thick skin, so why not just start now. It is the reality of social media.

Probably right but I can still have an opinion about it and MY opinion is that it is really immature and insensitive to girls in her grade (we are not in that grade).

Your elementary school kids need to get used to this, because it will only get worse once they are in middle/high school and start using social media. They will need to develop a thick skin, so why not just start now. It is the reality of social media.