Anonymous
09/26/2015 17:28
Subject: s/o Does it mean something when men choose someone totally different from mom
Anonymous wrote:MIL and I are complete opposites in every way. She's a sneaky, manipulative narcissist with no boundaries, who withholds love as punishment, gaslights and badmouths him. I don't have to over think to understand what he sees in me.
+1
Anonymous
09/26/2015 15:08
Subject: s/o Does it mean something when men choose someone totally different from mom
Hopefully people choose a spouse based on the best fit.
It's not a judgement, Op. Not a criticism of Mom. You are trying to make it sound like it's validation of some sort. It's not.
It's not a judgement, Op. Not a criticism of Mom. You are trying to make it sound like it's validation of some sort. It's not.
Anonymous
09/26/2015 13:23
Subject: s/o Does it mean something when men choose someone totally different from mom
I look a lot like my MIL. When people see me and SIL with her, they assume I'm the daughter. But our personalities are completely different, not polar opposites but quite distant!
Anonymous
09/26/2015 13:15
Subject: Re:s/o Does it mean something when men choose someone totally different from mom
My sons married overbearing snobs with no sense of humor. I avoid them. Life is too short and they are not worthy of my awesomeness.
Anonymous
09/26/2015 13:14
Subject: s/o Does it mean something when men choose someone totally different from mom
Anonymous wrote: I think it can mean something though I don't think it always does.
I think at a glance people would think I'm nothing like my husband's mom because on the outside are different races. But value wise, how much we love and support my husband, educational, life goal, family goal wise we are much the same. We're both very interested in human behavior and motivations and have managerial jobs so we talk about human behavior lot.
She is a more calm and polite, thoughtful and sensitive person than I am. I call BS on things a little quicker. She is very smart and so often will suspect the worst about a jerky person but won't prejudge and sometimes can be a little gullible....and I like to think we rubbed off on each other for the better.
This little post about how great you and your MIL are is nice and all, but did you read the OP? It is not about being dissimilar on the surface; it is about being polar opposites.
Anonymous
09/26/2015 11:13
Subject: s/o Does it mean something when men choose someone totally different from mom
I think it can mean something though I don't think it always does.
I think at a glance people would think I'm nothing like my husband's mom because on the outside are different races. But value wise, how much we love and support my husband, educational, life goal, family goal wise we are much the same. We're both very interested in human behavior and motivations and have managerial jobs so we talk about human behavior lot.
She is a more calm and polite, thoughtful and sensitive person than I am. I call BS on things a little quicker. She is very smart and so often will suspect the worst about a jerky person but won't prejudge and sometimes can be a little gullible....and I like to think we rubbed off on each other for the better.
I think at a glance people would think I'm nothing like my husband's mom because on the outside are different races. But value wise, how much we love and support my husband, educational, life goal, family goal wise we are much the same. We're both very interested in human behavior and motivations and have managerial jobs so we talk about human behavior lot.
She is a more calm and polite, thoughtful and sensitive person than I am. I call BS on things a little quicker. She is very smart and so often will suspect the worst about a jerky person but won't prejudge and sometimes can be a little gullible....and I like to think we rubbed off on each other for the better.
Anonymous
09/26/2015 07:58
Subject: s/o Does it mean something when men choose someone totally different from mom
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Sounds like he chose someone different on purpose, then.
I'm not much like my mil, but I like her. I can spend time with her and chat with her. We just are different. And I don't overthink "why" often - I don't think his mom had much to do with his taste in women.
Freud and many, many other psych professionals would say different. You know that, right? But PP is right, let it go; especially if MIL is kind and respectful to you.
Oh, I know what they say - but it just doesn't seem like it in our case. Unless maybe he didn't like how quiet and passive his mom is and chose a more outspoken person on purpose? Who knows...
In the OP's case, I would agree that her DH did pick someone more stable than his mother on purpose.
Anonymous
09/26/2015 07:40
Subject: s/o Does it mean something when men choose someone totally different from mom
MIL and I have the same first name, FIL and DH have the same first and last names, but not much else in common.