We waited 6 months to see a developmental pediatrician at Childrens who couldn't give us a diagnosis and missed ASD. We had a neuropsych at KKI that was a complete waste of time.

There is no holy grail all-knowing professional. They are just guessing like the rest of us.

OP here. for the PPs who say i am in denial and i know in my gut what is wrong...back off!! i have an older daughter who has zero issues and i have a son who has issues. i am not blind nor am i in denial. i have advocated for my son and gotten him the help he needs. it is working.

not every child needs to see a developmental ped.

not every child has a diagnosis.

not every family is going through what you went through.

my kid is happy at school NOW. the school he is at works for him. we want to replicate that environment because he is graduating. he is only 4 and he is functioning well and i want to keep up the support he needs. i don't "know" anything in my gut about him, i am not in denial that he has some challenges. but not all challenges equal something greater. when the time comes, IF we all think he needs it, he will get a work up.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
The truth is that you never know how it's going to go until your child has experienced it.

And that makes it really, really difficult.

having been through this once before, i am really sad about this potential!!! but, it is probably the truth. -OP

Your kid is only 4, so if his experience at school has been this difficult see a developmental pediatrician PRONTO. You are in denial.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would also consider hiring an advocate who can help with school placement.

OP here, this is a great idea. i am so clueless...how do i go about finding one? i suppose googling would be a good start?

The only thing the advocate is going to do is give you a list of schools to visit like the list above.

Have your child been seen by a developmental pediatrician? The meltdowns and problems with transitions, needing routine, low tone, excellent vocabulary, etc sounds a lot like high functioning autism, Asperger's.

You need to see a developmental pediatrician. Stop dancing around the issue. EI doesn't give you diagnoses.

If you decide to try to make it work in public, then I would seek out an advocate to help you formulate an IEP.

nobody is "dancing around the issue." nobody (his pediatrician, EI, nor his OT) has thought thus far that he needs to be seen by a developmental pediatrician. we have asked more than once. yes, he has challenges. no, they are not completely specific. no, they do not preclude him from (finally) doing well in school. he is only 4. what we have learned thus far is that he needs a particular environment to succeed, and we are trying to determine which school will provide that for its students. -OP

Get a new pediatrician. NT kids don't need EI services nor an OT. EI doesn't refer you to specialists nor do OTs typically.

He may be only 4 but it sounds like you are putting off a trip to see a developmental pediatrician b/c you don't want to know what you already know in your gut.

OP advocates and educational consultants are VERY expensive. You can get most of the information you will need on this forum to be honest.

I have learned more about how to help DS just from frequenting this forum over the last 6 years.

He is too young for an educational evaluation so its hard to know what he is academically really capable of.

That said, you should keep your school options open including public for the next few years, and you can supplement after school with therapy. Honestly until you know his complete academic picture you are likely just throwing your money away by trying different privates.

Once you know know what you're really looking at with your DS then you can make better decisions for him academically.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think it makes sense to try and make public work for you before you shell out for private school.

The danger with starting with public with a kid with anxiety is that it can be overwhelming and anxiety-producing in a way that no IEP can fix. Lots of kids is lots of kids. If you can afford it, I'd start with some place small that will give lots of attention to social/emotional issues, not just academic issues. Whether it needs to be SN or mainstream depends a lot on his specific triggers and how bad the anxiety is.

what PP pointed out is exactly what happened when we tried the public charter. it was too focused on academics in prek3, was too chaotic, and was ultimately an absolute disaster for my DS. this is why we are considering my DD's small private with most focus on social/emotional issues up to grade 2. Small ratio of students to teachers. It likely will work for my DS, but want to think about other schools as well. the only concern about my DD's school is that they have a small range of "different" learning styles that they can handle and beyond that, they just can't. hence my worry. probably fine for K and 1st, but not sure after that...

Anonymous wrote:I think it makes sense to try and make public work for you before you shell out for private school.

The danger with starting with public with a kid with anxiety is that it can be overwhelming and anxiety-producing in a way that no IEP can fix. Lots of kids is lots of kids. If you can afford it, I'd start with some place small that will give lots of attention to social/emotional issues, not just academic issues. Whether it needs to be SN or mainstream depends a lot on his specific triggers and how bad the anxiety is.

Anonymous wrote:What's your in boundary school? IS there any information right now that indicates a regular school wouldn't work for him?

I'd go into your IB school with the info you have and see if they will meet with you and discuss how their school would work for your child.

DCPS is K can be as small as 20 kids, and there is a teacher and an aide. There is a lot the school can do to accommodate your child. Why not start there?

we did meet with our inbound school and the conversation was NOT at all encouraging. they showed us that kids who they flagged as needing some help sitting at computer desks with headphones on doing some sort of online tutorial. that is NOT what we are looking for in the least. -OP

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would also consider hiring an advocate who can help with school placement.

OP here, this is a great idea. i am so clueless...how do i go about finding one? i suppose googling would be a good start?

The only thing the advocate is going to do is give you a list of schools to visit like the list above.

Have your child been seen by a developmental pediatrician? The meltdowns and problems with transitions, needing routine, low tone, excellent vocabulary, etc sounds a lot like high functioning autism, Asperger's.

You need to see a developmental pediatrician. Stop dancing around the issue. EI doesn't give you diagnoses.

If you decide to try to make it work in public, then I would seek out an advocate to help you formulate an IEP.

nobody is "dancing around the issue." nobody (his pediatrician, EI, nor his OT) has thought thus far that he needs to be seen by a developmental pediatrician. we have asked more than once. yes, he has challenges. no, they are not completely specific. no, they do not preclude him from (finally) doing well in school. he is only 4. what we have learned thus far is that he needs a particular environment to succeed, and we are trying to determine which school will provide that for its students. -OP

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would also consider hiring an advocate who can help with school placement.

OP here, this is a great idea. i am so clueless...how do i go about finding one? i suppose googling would be a good start?

The only thing the advocate is going to do is give you a list of schools to visit like the list above.

Have your child been seen by a developmental pediatrician? The meltdowns and problems with transitions, needing routine, low tone, excellent vocabulary, etc sounds a lot like high functioning autism, Asperger's.

You need to see a developmental pediatrician. Stop dancing around the issue. EI doesn't give you diagnoses.

If you decide to try to make it work in public, then I would seek out an advocate to help you formulate an IEP.

I think it makes sense to try and make public work for you before you shell out for private school.

I have to say, we went to a well-regarded advocate and that person did not have a lot of current info on the schools we were considering. We were pretty disappointed TBH. I learned 100% more about the schools here and by touring them.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would also consider hiring an advocate who can help with school placement.

OP here, this is a great idea. i am so clueless...how do i go about finding one? i suppose googling would be a good start?

The only thing the advocate is going to do is give you a list of schools to visit like the list above.

Have your child been seen by a developmental pediatrician? The meltdowns and problems with transitions, needing routine, low tone, excellent vocabulary, etc sounds a lot like high functioning autism, Asperger's.

I disagree with the advocate comment. A good one will make a list but will also have done observations in classrooms, be familiar with admissions, etc. The thing is if you are looking for small privates and you are also considering SN schools then that's really two kinds of advocates. You can search the private/independent forum and this one for names. You need someone familiar with the DC system (obviously) if that's where you're staying.

Anonymous wrote:
The truth is that you never know how it's going to go until your child has experienced it.

And that makes it really, really difficult.

having been through this once before, i am really sad about this potential!!! but, it is probably the truth. -OP

+1 on the above