Anonymous wrote:I would be very careful about identifying a six year old as a bully.

We had a situation in my child's first grade class where one child (A) was complaining about another one (B) and calling him a bully. The teacher asked the parent volunteers to keep an eye on the situation. It turned out that child A was actually being mean to child B. When child B stood up to child A and said he wouldn't play if A was mean to him, child A got upset and called B a bully. So you really don't always know what is going on unless adults have observed the actual interactions between the children.

OP here, we already did this. I didn't use the word bullying to the school, that's the label they put on it after observing what was going on.

If you have not yet sent out the invites I would vote for picking a much smaller number and inviting the whole families for a bbq type thing. You have a better chance of actually getting to know the kids and family this way.

Otherwise invite the whole class. Then reach out to the "bully" family and let them know that you have invited the whole class and that include this child. Tell them that you understand the beginning of the year can be stressful on little kids and you don't want what has happened to rule the coming years. That being said please understand that we would ask that a parent come as well. (honestly this shouldn't be a drop off party for anyone if these are all unknown families) This is a chance for you to model good behavior to your child.

I would be very careful about identifying a six year old as a bully.

We had a situation in my child's first grade class where one child (A) was complaining about another one (B) and calling him a bully. The teacher asked the parent volunteers to keep an eye on the situation. It turned out that child A was actually being mean to child B. When child B stood up to child A and said he wouldn't play if A was mean to him, child A got upset and called B a bully. So you really don't always know what is going on unless adults have observed the actual interactions between the children.

It might help the bullying situation if the bully saw your son as a friend.

What will you be doing with that many kids?

Anonymous wrote:6 is young enough for behaviour to change, but one way it isn't going to change is by being ostracized. Invite the bully, but ask his parents to stay.

This is a tough one. This might be the best solution. With the school intervening, have you met the parents before? Were the receptive to advice on how to curb the bullying?

Statistically those that bully have alsooften been bullied themselves (I have done research on bullying prevention for my job), so to leave him out would be harsh.

On the other hand - if the kid has also bullied other kids in the class, then you best bet is to just invite 7-8 kids (which means, invite half the class). Or, if it is the beginning of the school year, could you just bring in a treat to the class, and then have a party with friends from Kindergarten or neighborhood friends?

Anonymous wrote:I would invite the bully but specify that his parents need to stay at the party to supervise due to the prior incidents.

OP here, I think this is what I'm going to do. If they decide to come I think it will make things a little tense (I've gotten the sense they don't believe their child has really done anything and think my child is just over-sensitive), but I suspect they're more likely to bail on the whole thing if I ask for this. At least then it's their decision, not mine.

Anonymous wrote:When you say"bully" what has he actually done and what has the school done to help?

Repeated taunting of my child for various things from how he holds a pencil to his religion, and trying to rally the other boys in the class against my child at recess. Since it's largely happening at times that are lower supervision (recess and while they're lined up in the hallways before school starts), the school has placed additional supervision at this places to keep at eye on it, and has had my child meet with the school counselor a few times to talk about how to deal with bullying. I don't know what they've done with respect to the other child, I'm not privvy to that information.

I would invite the bully but specify that his parents need to stay at the party to supervise due to the prior incidents.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Let's say you had a party planned for your child and intended to invite the entire class. Then one of your child's classmates started bullying him, to the point that the school has intervened. Do you still have to invite your child's bully to the party since you're inviting the rest of the class? Or do you get a pass on this rule?

I hate to completely change up a party my child has been looking forward to and make him invite only a small number of kids instead, but I can't imagine forcing him to have his bully present at the party given how much anxiety this kid causes him.

I would invite everyone except the bully. He'll learn very quickly that his behavior will get him ostracized.

No. This is wrong and you should feel bad. They are SIX years old. You don't fix a bully by bullying them back. OP shouldn't have to invite the kid if they don't want, but inviting everyone BUT that kid is shitty.

Awesome. Mom is going to bully the bully. Way to lead by example Mom! Great parenting there.

Who are you talking to?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Let's say you had a party planned for your child and intended to invite the entire class. Then one of your child's classmates started bullying him, to the point that the school has intervened. Do you still have to invite your child's bully to the party since you're inviting the rest of the class? Or do you get a pass on this rule?

I hate to completely change up a party my child has been looking forward to and make him invite only a small number of kids instead, but I can't imagine forcing him to have his bully present at the party given how much anxiety this kid causes him.

I would invite everyone except the bully. He'll learn very quickly that his behavior will get him ostracized.

No. This is wrong and you should feel bad. They are SIX years old. You don't fix a bully by bullying them back. OP shouldn't have to invite the kid if they don't want, but inviting everyone BUT that kid is shitty.

Awesome. Mom is going to bully the bully. Way to lead by example Mom! Great parenting there.

Sure, I would do it and just not say anything to my kid or other parents about the situation.

The kids and the parents at the party aren't likely to notice or even really care. Not every invited kid will attend and the parents and kids will just assume that the kids who are missing including the non invited one just couldn't make it to the party.

I don't know. I would just not invite the bully if it were my kid. My son is also 6 and in 1st grade.

We have 25 kids in the class so we are probably going to do all boys but if there was a bully, I would not invite the 1 bully.

Excluding one child out of the entire class makes you a bully.

Seriously, act like a mature adult. Ask his parents to stay.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would not invite the whole class minus one person, no matter how much of a bully he was. That's terrible to do to a kid. How old are the kids?

+1

+2 I would invite the kid, but arrange for another adult to have an eye on his behavior during the party and intervene as necessary.