Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Chin up, OP!

One day you will look back and thank GOD he left.

It truly is a blessing in disguise.

thank you! I think about him less and less each day, but I still miss the idea of him. I know I'll get over it, and now I am better able to just live for me. I didn't realize how much I missed the "single life" being able to go on dates. and get to know the guy and not be stuck with the same man and issues day in and day out. I know that is part of marriage, but I know I'm not ready for that. My ex always talked about how he loved me and wanted to spend his life with me, but I realize that was never truly feasible.

Everytime you start to feel really down, remember this. You miss the idea of him-- having a date to parties, a +1 to weddings, good sex etc. These things can be replicated in a person you actually really love and are compatible with! In fact, those things are so much better when you find the right one.

You just dodged a huge bullet in slow motion – be grateful this happened early and go on and live a beautiful life.

Anonymous wrote:You dodged a bullet. And next time, date a man who has his shit together.

Also, think long and hard before marrying and having kids with a man with mental illness, including depression. It is highly inheritable. Just something to think about as I watch my own DH's entire family struggle with it and wonder what will happen with my kids down the road. It's an added degree of stress and parenting is already stressful enough.

Thanks! I know that his state of "deadbeat" was totally out of character for me to date him. Most of the guys I've dated are high achieving types. I guess he gave me a taste of the laid back, chilled out life and that's why I cared so much for him. After a few months I did think, "wtf, are you always gonna be stagnant?" And I feel like that is where i started to fall out of love. I still have love for him, but I don't think I was in love.

You dodged a bullet. And next time, date a man who has his shit together.

Also, think long and hard before marrying and having kids with a man with mental illness, including depression. It is highly inheritable. Just something to think about as I watch my own DH's entire family struggle with it and wonder what will happen with my kids down the road. It's an added degree of stress and parenting is already stressful enough.

Anonymous wrote:Chin up, OP!

One day you will look back and thank GOD he left.

It truly is a blessing in disguise.

thank you! I think about him less and less each day, but I still miss the idea of him. I know I'll get over it, and now I am better able to just live for me. I didn't realize how much I missed the "single life" being able to go on dates. and get to know the guy and not be stuck with the same man and issues day in and day out. I know that is part of marriage, but I know I'm not ready for that. My ex always talked about how he loved me and wanted to spend his life with me, but I realize that was never truly feasible.

Chin up, OP!

One day you will look back and thank GOD he left.

It truly is a blessing in disguise.

*like losing a person

As someone old enough to be your parent, I am 46 years young (!!), I say let him go.

Yes, from experience I definitely know that it hurts a lot when breaking up from someone. And it really can put you into a depression where you cannot enjoy your life fully because of the love you have lost.

Bear in mind, you are only 22, a baby in my eyes. You still have a lot of life ahead of you so let this break-up be a great learning tool for you.

Allow yourself to grieve the loss of your BF. It is just losing a person to death, even though your BF is still alive. You are mourning the loss of a dream. And this is completely understandable for now.

Do not try to take any shortcuts around grieving. Yes, I know it can be life's most brutal lessons, but you have to FEEL your pain in depth. That is the only way to properly heal.

There WILL come that day when the pain is gone, but there will be a lot of heart-ache before you get there. In the long run, that heart-ache will be your friend....Since it will get you closer and closer to being able to love again.

Best of luck to you OP. Keep your chin up.