We have two with a third on the way. HHI 180k. We own a wonderful home in a neighborhood with great schools in the close in MD suburbs. We have 529s for each kid, contribute to 401k, invest (modestly), have a rainy day fund and otherwise live comfortably. We leased the minivan instead of financing it to get a lower monthly rate, paid off all student loans before baby 2 came along, and don't vacation in the french alps. Daycare will be more than our mortgage for a year or so once #3 arrives, but what's a year of tightening your belt, really?

You absolutely don't need a million dollars to have the size family you want around here. You just have to be a little creative about how you spend your money and how you plan financially. As others have said, college doesn't have to cost 150k if you consider state school, community college, etc....and there are plenty of ways to get money for college (work study, scholarships, sports...). If you think about it, you never feel like you have enough money for a child, and then they're here, and you realize how much money you were spending on junk that just has to be reassigned now and life goes on just fine. breathe, and put down the lottery tickets.

My neighbors have three kids. The mom stays home and the dad works as a public school teacher. So I am assuming they aren't making >500k. LOL. They seem to be okay.

Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:
Of my friends who have 4 kids, there is not one working mom. All SAH and either have DHs who make >200k or a TON of help from grandparents (financial and otherwise).


Agreed. I don't know a single family of 4 who has a working mother. Its almost like a status thing these days.

What is a status thing, being ale to afford 4 kinds and a SAHM? From where I am, it seems there is more status in being a working mom who can balance both career and family. I'm thinking of becoming a SAHM (we can swing it with lifestyle changes we are willing to make), but I have to say it seems to me that being a SAHM is viewed as a cop out. Most moms I know who stay at home work part time in some capacity.

So….you are about to cop out, you mean?

Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:
Of my friends who have 4 kids, there is not one working mom. All SAH and either have DHs who make >200k or a TON of help from grandparents (financial and otherwise).


Agreed. I don't know a single family of 4 who has a working mother. Its almost like a status thing these days.

What is a status thing, being ale to afford 4 kinds and a SAHM? From where I am, it seems there is more status in being a working mom who can balance both career and family. I'm thinking of becoming a SAHM (we can swing it with lifestyle changes we are willing to make), but I have to say it seems to me that being a SAHM is viewed as a cop out. Most moms I know who stay at home work part time in some capacity.

Interesting. Not in my income bracket.

My plan is for them to attend in state college (VA) whether they like it or not Nothing wrong with starting at community college for the first 1 or 2 years.

I will cash flow the 2 first kids, and have 529 for the other 2. It's not really that complicated and you don't need to have millions to do it.

Anonymous wrote:Unreal! I have 4 kids with HHI of 180K, and we are living just fine. People on this forum are unrealistic.

+1. We have 4 kids and make $225K, and we're still able to save for retirement and college. We live in the suburbs, both work full-time (although dh is a teacher and has summers off), and we have an Au Pair.
We live a middle class lifestyle, not upper class. Drive sensible cars paid for with cash. Take inexpensive vacations once per year. Shop frugally. Take hand me down clothes. Limit expensive kids activities.
Also, kids will get jobs when they are 16 (or before) and help save towards college. I will not pay $50,000+/year for a private school tuition. They will take out some loans.
We don't feel like we are sacrificing. We just never ratcheted up our lifestyle.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Unreal! I have 4 kids with HHI of 180K, and we are living just fine. People on this forum are unrealistic.

What are your plans for paying for college? Do you live in DC or close in suburbs?

Not to derail completely, but why does everyone on DCUM think that their snowflakes are entitled to a completely parent financed college education? This was the exception and not the rule when I was in school and most of us worked part-time or had odd jobs around campus to help pay for expenses. Not knocking it, but not every kid is college material either so just curious why everybody seems to think that it's mandatory to be able to pay for a full 4-5 years of private school living on campus.

When you were in college, it was more affordable. That's it. I don't want my kids to be saddled with 200k in debt out of undergrad. And whether you like it or not, college is still the gateway for a middle class life in most cases. It has nothing to do with special snowflakes and everything to do with not wanting to have your kid start out with a big burden and disadvantage as a young adult.

+ 1,000,000. It took me almost 15 years to pay off law school loans, and I do not want to saddle my child with that kind of debt for undergrad. That is why I'm 'one and done' at 275K.

Anonymous wrote:
Of my friends who have 4 kids, there is not one working mom. All SAH and either have DHs who make >200k or a TON of help from grandparents (financial and otherwise).


Agreed. I don't know a single family of 4 who has a working mother. Its almost like a status thing these days.

What is a status thing, being ale to afford 4 kinds and a SAHM? From where I am, it seems there is more status in being a working mom who can balance both career and family. I'm thinking of becoming a SAHM (we can swing it with lifestyle changes we are willing to make), but I have to say it seems to me that being a SAHM is viewed as a cop out. Most moms I know who stay at home work part time in some capacity.

Anonymous wrote:If you're a couple that wants 4 kids, how much does your HHI have to be minimum in order to be able to raise them?

Did your income level affect how many kids you had? Why? Why not?

Lets discuss.

Income increases but I would have first kid after all debt (minus reasonable mortgage) is paid off and you have 6 mos emergency fund.

Anonymous wrote:Of my friends who have 4 kids, there is not one working mom. All SAH and either have DHs who make >200k or a TON of help from grandparents (financial and otherwise).

Agreed. I don't know a single family of 4 who has a working mother. Its almost like a status thing these days.

A big factor is if you already bought a house years ago in a good neighborhood or if you would be looking to buy now. We are a family of 3, HHI is $250k, and will be able to buy in around 14 months. Daycare will kill you for 3 children. An unlicensed inhome place would still run around $1000k per month per child.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Unreal! I have 4 kids with HHI of 180K, and we are living just fine. People on this forum are unrealistic.

What are your plans for paying for college? Do you live in DC or close in suburbs?

Not to derail completely, but why does everyone on DCUM think that their snowflakes are entitled to a completely parent financed college education? This was the exception and not the rule when I was in school and most of us worked part-time or had odd jobs around campus to help pay for expenses. Not knocking it, but not every kid is college material either so just curious why everybody seems to think that it's mandatory to be able to pay for a full 4-5 years of private school living on campus.

When you were in college, it was more affordable. That's it. I don't want my kids to be saddled with 200k in debt out of undergrad. And whether you like it or not, college is still the gateway for a middle class life in most cases. It has nothing to do with special snowflakes and everything to do with not wanting to have your kid start out with a big burden and disadvantage as a young adult.

Agreed - like I said, I wasn't knocking it (completely), but it just seems odd that more people aren't pushing them toward 2 years of community college or state school. Everybody throws out that 200-300k number which is the cost of living on campus at a private school for an entire college education. I think part of the reason it is so expensive is because we (the market) are willing to pay those kind of prices.

Of my friends who have 4 kids, there is not one working mom. All SAH and either have DHs who make >200k or a TON of help from grandparents (financial and otherwise).

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Unreal! I have 4 kids with HHI of 180K, and we are living just fine. People on this forum are unrealistic.

What are your plans for paying for college? Do you live in DC or close in suburbs?

Not to derail completely, but why does everyone on DCUM think that their snowflakes are entitled to a completely parent financed college education? This was the exception and not the rule when I was in school and most of us worked part-time or had odd jobs around campus to help pay for expenses. Not knocking it, but not every kid is college material either so just curious why everybody seems to think that it's mandatory to be able to pay for a full 4-5 years of private school living on campus.

When you were in college, it was more affordable. That's it. I don't want my kids to be saddled with 200k in debt out of undergrad. And whether you like it or not, college is still the gateway for a middle class life in most cases. It has nothing to do with special snowflakes and everything to do with not wanting to have your kid start out with a big burden and disadvantage as a young adult.

Depends on if you have a SAHM or not. Daycare for 4 kids would kill you.