Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm another woman who thinks if she was hungry she should have ordered food. If I was invited to go out for drinks at 7:30, I'd either eat before I showed up or say "Hey, I'm really hungry, I'm going to order some food."

This. I'd happily pay for the food, but I'm not going to sit there starving if there is a solution.

To both PPs, exactly.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Very interesting thread. I've been out of the game forever but still seems the guy is expected to foot the bill. I know a few posters qualified with "if he asked her out." How common is it for the woman to do the asking?

If he was not getting food, I'd order my own and just pay for it. I make no assumptions on who pays. When I was dating my husband sometimes he paid, sometimes I paid and sometimes we split it. He didn't have a lot of money back then. He would have if he did. Now he pays for everything.

Would it change the tone of the date to one of friendship as others have mentioned? Assuming first date of course

OP here. DH and I met in grad school. DH did not have a lot of money but he still paid for the first few dates. Of course I paid for stuff. We are talking first date though. Maybe I'm old fashioned but I think the first date should be paid for the guy.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Very interesting thread. I've been out of the game forever but still seems the guy is expected to foot the bill. I know a few posters qualified with "if he asked her out." How common is it for the woman to do the asking?

If he was not getting food, I'd order my own and just pay for it. I make no assumptions on who pays. When I was dating my husband sometimes he paid, sometimes I paid and sometimes we split it. He didn't have a lot of money back then. He would have if he did. Now he pays for everything.

Would it change the tone of the date to one of friendship as others have mentioned? Assuming first date of course

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would assume a first date invitation at 7:30 means eat dinner first.

I would assume it is dinner included. Who eats before going out?

+1. Adults eat at 7:30. The only people who get to restaurants earlier are parents with children and the elderly.

Exactly. We now eat dinner at 5:30-6 because of the kids. Before I had kids, I was often still at work at 7:30. Ate out all the time and did not eat before going out.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would assume a first date invitation at 7:30 means eat dinner first.

I would assume it is dinner included. Who eats before going out?

+1. Adults eat at 7:30. The only people who get to restaurants earlier are parents with children and the elderly.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would assume a first date invitation at 7:30 means eat dinner first.

I would assume it is dinner included. Who eats before going out?

You eat dinner out each time you go out? I'm 48, maybe that's the difference. We've eaten at 6:30 for 15 years.

Anonymous wrote:Very interesting thread. I've been out of the game forever but still seems the guy is expected to foot the bill. I know a few posters qualified with "if he asked her out." How common is it for the woman to do the asking?

If he was not getting food, I'd order my own and just pay for it. I make no assumptions on who pays. When I was dating my husband sometimes he paid, sometimes I paid and sometimes we split it. He didn't have a lot of money back then. He would have if he did. Now he pays for everything.

Anonymous wrote:I would assume a first date invitation at 7:30 means eat dinner first.

I would assume it is dinner included. Who eats before going out?

I would assume a first date invitation at 7:30 means eat dinner first.

Very interesting thread. I've been out of the game forever but still seems the guy is expected to foot the bill. I know a few posters qualified with "if he asked her out." How common is it for the woman to do the asking?

Anonymous wrote:Drinks were fine. But I'm confused as to why there was bread on the table if they weren't there for dinner. Was the bread an appetizer?

It would be weird to be seated for dinner, get served complimentary bread and then only order drinks. That I would not be happy about it because that would be awkward and cheap.

OP here. My friend actually knew the bartender and asked the bartender for some bread. My friend's sister used to bartend when she was younger so they know a lot of bartenders.

I didn't say this to my friend but I think my friend probably gave off a vibe that she was not very into him. The guy may not have wanted to spend any more than he had to at that point. Just a guess.

In general, I think drinks or coffee are just right for the first date. Whoever asked the other one out should generally pay. However, going dutch on a first date (especially if you met online) is also pretty normal.

If I met someone online, I always offer to split the bill. 90% of the time, the guys pay the whole tab. If I really don't like someone and I want to get out quickly, I'll pay the tab and let them know that I don't think we are a match.

Anonymous wrote:I'm another woman who thinks if she was hungry she should have ordered food. If I was invited to go out for drinks at 7:30, I'd either eat before I showed up or say "Hey, I'm really hungry, I'm going to order some food."

This. I'd happily pay for the food, but I'm not going to sit there starving if there is a solution.

I think the guy was just trying to keep thing casual, laid back. There was bread - she did not drink on an empty stomach. And she was under zero obligation to order an alcoholic drink or even to finish it. If she was starving she could have suggested appetizers.

If she only went out with him to get free food....bleh.

7:30pm is a reasonable hour to assume someone's already eaten. I will say the guy should've been clearer.