I'm 32 and just got catcalled a few weeks ago.

Truthfully, when I was 24, I had just moved to DC -- and I was overweight, I had no style, and I was just starting to wear makeup regularly. After 8 years here, I've learned how to get good haircuts, to wear makeup appropriately, to wear flattering clothing, and I've lost a bunch of weight. I get catcalled a hell of a lot more often now than I did at 24.

Also, my 30s so far have been awesome, and you couldn't pay me to go back to being 24.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you have fair skin yes that's it for you. If you have olive or darker you will last through your late 50s

Yeah, this is the one downside of white privilege - sorry don't feel sorry for any of you 28+ yo milky white hags out there.

Thanks. Now go crawl back to lipstickalley.

Anonymous wrote:I am a 28 year old female who is coming to terms with my declining youth and beauty. It's so funny when I look at other women and notice similar patterns that I encountered growing up. Here is the life cycle of a woman as I experienced:

0-15 invisible
15-21 awkward years mostly invisible unless you're super hot
24- every guy wants to hit on you! Old guys, creepers, guys your age, younger guys
26+ invisible

At 28 I'm pretty invisible. No one hits on me anymore and I'm not cat called. Up until 23 I was pretty much invisible to guys as well. When i turned 24, however, all of a sudden I got so much attention out of nowhere! Everyone wanted to be with me and hit on me. This is also the age where I acquired my first boyfriend and my fiancé.


I've become invisible again. Now I see other 24 year old girls stopping traffic and being dawned on.

So funny. What's the big deal with a 24 year old female?

You must not be very attractive.

Anonymous wrote:If you have fair skin yes that's it for you. If you have olive or darker you will last through your late 50s

Yeah, this is the one downside of white privilege - sorry don't feel sorry for any of you 28+ yo milky white hags out there.

28 was only the beginning! I agree with PPs that OP's problem is one of confidence and where she is mentally.

--39yo

28 invisible? thats nuts. I was on fire socially 28-34. Seriously. I played lots of social sports, varied social groups firends and was always open to going on blind dates. Shit doesn't go really downhill until late 30s. I will never get this last 10 lbs off of baby weight, my neck is sagging in my early 40s, its really troubling. The sun damage age spots have popped out over night.

There was an interesting study done of males perception of female body type and sexual attraction. Guys picked women in their mid thirties as most attractive but then selected eighteen year olds as preferred. When questioned the guys said the smaller bodies meant younger and they preferred younger over the more sexually attractive bodies of thirty somethings. No physical details were depicted just body silhouettes. So OP may have a point,but a sad one, if she sees herself as valuable only as a sexual object.

I don't know about all this beauty fades and we all become invisible stuff. Halle Berry is 50. Do you not think there is a difference between how men treat her versus an ugly, fat 50 year old or one who has lost her looks like Jamie Lee Curtis? Rest assured Halle will never be invisible unless she has a catastrophic accident. Ditto for women like Sandra Bullock and Jennifer Lopez. They will always enjoy male attention.

Even among old people, there is a difference between Carmen Dell'Orefice and your 80 year old former soccer mom. We might wish it was true that beauty, especially when combined with slimness and style, doesn't give an edge past a certain age, but it's just not true.

I second the PP who said you need therapy. I'm a 39 mother of two and still get hit on. It's how you feel, how you carry yourself, how you think of yourself that really counts. I feel like I've got it now as much as I had it in my 20s.

I don't know, OP. I guess if you're plain to average, the "bloom" of youth will make you most attractive in your early 20s. In Jane Austen's books, there's always a lot of talk about how this or that young lady has lost her bloom. I have noticed there is something to it.

I was very pretty, and my peak years were from early teens up until I put on weight in my 30s. My face stayed pretty for many more years, and people would still stop and do a double-take stare if they saw me from the neck up.

We all become invisible sooner or later, as women. You really need to be happy with what you have, because many of us look back wistfully after we really do age and lose all our looks, and wish we had appreciated and accepted ourselves before.

And most of all, do some reading and gain perspective. What matters is inner beauty, and it's what you will always have if you cultivate it. I never cared about my looks. They were a short-lived fluke. I do value my character and mind and heart. Don't listen to all the messages around you about looks. That stuff makes us miserable.

My perspective as a 40 year old man.

28 is still in the prime of your superficial beauty, but let me emphasize the superficial aspect of beauty. Because beauty is so much more to men than physical appearance. Its also confidence, attitude, personality, enthusiasm.

My guess is that you are still hanging around the college age crowd. So, yes, a 28 year old is going to feel relatively invisible when "competing" with the 23 year old at the bar scene for the attention of the men at the bar age 21-30. I think if you graduate to the young professional scene, you will attract more than enough attention.

My DW will tell you she feels great at 40. She looks good, has good energy and still attracts attention. Yes, she would feel far more sexually invisible than when she was 26, but she would say you grow out of the need for external validation, or at least the way you needed it in your 20s.

Are you the same poster who started a thread about losing looks at 28? I just turned 30 and get SO much attention and I'm white. Some of it is how you feel about yourself. If you think you're unattractive then it will show in your carriage. Take care of yourself, put some effort in, and you will get results!

Anonymous wrote:I feel sad for you, OP. So you're saying you peaked for just a couple of years and it's all downhill and you're invisible? WTF?? You should seriously consider therapy. because that is just whack!

typical woman, everything is based on looks.

just wait until the libido slows down and you hate sex also.

That is inevitable also.

I'm 37 year old suburban mother of 3 and I still get hit on and cat called regularly. Mid twenties were a sweet spot for fun and adventure for me, but I'm much more confident and self-assured in my 30s. I do look after myself, but it's hardly downhill from 24, honey. FWIW, most of the guys who cat call or hit on women that way, you probably wouldn't want to date or marry anyway.

If you are happy inside, it shows on the outside so start there.

If you have fair skin yes that's it for you. If you have olive or darker you will last through your late 50s