Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I went to school with a lot of wealthier people--and, the only thing I would watch out for is alcohol and drug use. While there were a lot of great wealthier kids, there was also a large number who drank heavily and eventually did harder drugs. They had access to alcohol via the country club lifestyle and enough money to have access to all the drugs they wanted.

Your son's girlfriend is probably a perfectly nice girl who is not into all that; but, I would make sure she is welcome in your house and on family outings--and that they are not just going to her house all the time. Plus, as one poster pointed out, younger relationships sometimes end very quickly.

I had access to a lot of alcohol via the fridge in the garage and lots of drugs from my older neighbor in college. Not sure what a country club lifestyle has to do with getting alcohol

I had a country club lifestyle, horses, the whole nine yards. Would have had no idea where to get alcohol.

Anonymous wrote:I went to school with a lot of wealthier people--and, the only thing I would watch out for is alcohol and drug use. While there were a lot of great wealthier kids, there was also a large number who drank heavily and eventually did harder drugs. They had access to alcohol via the country club lifestyle and enough money to have access to all the drugs they wanted.

Your son's girlfriend is probably a perfectly nice girl who is not into all that; but, I would make sure she is welcome in your house and on family outings--and that they are not just going to her house all the time. Plus, as one poster pointed out, younger relationships sometimes end very quickly.

I had access to a lot of alcohol via the fridge in the garage and lots of drugs from my older neighbor in college. Not sure what a country club lifestyle has to do with getting alcohol

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't know; I don't know folks like that. I just think it's funny that you said you went over to meet her house.

OP here and maybe that was a Freudian slip! It is an incredible house - like something you see in magazines. Girlfriend's mom passed away years ago - it is just she and her Dad.

ok, now you are describing the plot of "clueless" with Alicia Silverstone.

I knew this sounded familiar. I have always meant to take pictures of myself in various outfits to pick the winners. Thanks for reminding me of my teenage aspirations

I went to school with a lot of wealthier people--and, the only thing I would watch out for is alcohol and drug use. While there were a lot of great wealthier kids, there was also a large number who drank heavily and eventually did harder drugs. They had access to alcohol via the country club lifestyle and enough money to have access to all the drugs they wanted.

Your son's girlfriend is probably a perfectly nice girl who is not into all that; but, I would make sure she is welcome in your house and on family outings--and that they are not just going to her house all the time. Plus, as one poster pointed out, younger relationships sometimes end very quickly.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't know; I don't know folks like that. I just think it's funny that you said you went over to meet her house.

OP here and maybe that was a Freudian slip! It is an incredible house - like something you see in magazines. Girlfriend's mom passed away years ago - it is just she and her Dad.

ok, now you are describing the plot of "clueless" with Alicia Silverstone.

Great movie! Based on a great novel!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't know; I don't know folks like that. I just think it's funny that you said you went over to meet her house.

OP here and maybe that was a Freudian slip! It is an incredible house - like something you see in magazines. Girlfriend's mom passed away years ago - it is just she and her Dad.

ok, now you are describing the plot of "clueless" with Alicia Silverstone.

Thank you! I was thinking the same thing.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't know; I don't know folks like that. I just think it's funny that you said you went over to meet her house.

OP here and maybe that was a Freudian slip! It is an incredible house - like something you see in magazines. Girlfriend's mom passed away years ago - it is just she and her Dad.

ok, now you are describing the plot of "clueless" with Alicia Silverstone.

Dd has dated some people whose parents were wealthy. It was a bit uncomfortable but I'll tell you what's important - to not make assumptions about people without getting to know them better. It's important not to stereotype the rich. They deserve to be treated like human beings just as much as anyone else.

Anonymous wrote:OP, I was the rich girl. We always had more than everyone else. Just be yourself. My parents required good grades, community service hours, and church attendance for me to keep my privileges. I was exactly who every mother wanted if they could see the rough the trappings. Some friends' parents were embarrassingly rude. Don't make comments on how big their house is or their cars. People would come to my parents' house and ask if we got lost or say that their whole house was the size of our kitchen. Don't say things like that. Say, "Your home is beautiful. We have enjoyed getting to know Karen."

NP here. I was a poor girl and you and your parents have class. Thank you.

maybe stop being so judgmental? it's not her fault her parents are wealthy

OP, I was the rich girl. We always had more than everyone else. Just be yourself. My parents required good grades, community service hours, and church attendance for me to keep my privileges. I was exactly who every mother wanted if they could see the rough the trappings. Some friends' parents were embarrassingly rude. Don't make comments on how big their house is or their cars. People would come to my parents' house and ask if we got lost or say that their whole house was the size of our kitchen. Don't say things like that. Say, "Your home is beautiful. We have enjoyed getting to know Karen."

Let me tell you about my friend Stephanie. She grew up in the Hamptons, with very wealthy parents. We met in high school, and once, at an event at our school, she whined, "Daddy, BUY me something!" and we all laughed at her.

Her mother had died a couple of years before we met. Stephanie was rich, but she was just ... our friend. SHe liked coming to our houses, where our parents wandered in and out of rooms, where we ate dinners together as a family, where we all smushed into the back of the car to be driven somewhere.

Yeah, she was given a car when she turned 17, and had a huge, fancy house. But she wanted a HOME, and a warm family. And her mom back.

Don't view this girl only as Someone Who is Rich. She's a lot more than that.

Reminds me of a Nicholas Sparks novel

Anonymous wrote:I get your hesitation; we grew up simply and my parents worked in poverty-focused and faith-based organizations too, so my early exposures to extreme wealth were hard for me to understand/process. Continue to keep your son grounded, and treat her kindly. Try to incorporate her in your own family/home to the extent you're comfortable with that. She may really appreciate the dynamics of a lower-key family that has different kinds of dinner conversations. Not much else you can do.

Very well said.
Watch for clues from her as to how open she is in being included in your family environment.

Their relationship is likely to last no more than 3 months; I don't think you need to worry about pitfalls.