It is hard to tell form OP's description just how much of a problem this is, but my take on it is that it does not seem all that bad. My family experienced a similar (and I think much worse) problem in a private elementary with a similar philosophy. In our case, the elementary school accepted several children with serious impulse control issues coupled with other learning challenges, and the combination was daily disruption and a fraction of the learning that there should have been in 3d--5th grades and led to social-emotional issues for other students who had to deal with the constant disruption. Some educators have a very inflated view of their own expertise in dealing with exceptional children -- either those who need support to keep up or those who immediately get it and are bored. We saw this in a progressive elementary school -- the problem being that educators who come to the table with a particular ideology are sometimes slow to acknowledge that it may not be as well suited as anticipated for some of the children they have accepted -- that amounts to admitted an error. My advise to OP is to just be sure your child is not thrown off too much by this from a mental health perspective -- if he is and the school can't change it, get out. It can have negative physical developmental consequences if it gets that bad. On the other hand, if it isn't that bad, then just be sure you child is on track with math, etc. so that he doesn't fall behind a grade level where he should be moving forward. Short of those things, I think it can be good for typical kids to see all the world is not like them, and to learn at this young age a) to deal with not everything being perfect; and b) that -- as OP admits -- sometimes what you think you believe in on paper is well and good until you see how it adversely impacts you personally. It is better to start understanding these trade offs as a young age -- sometimes principles require sacrifice, and sometimes the sacrifice is so substantial that one needs to rethink their principles. Life is complicated. By 5th grade, kids are able to start learning about these things a bit by experience. Good luck to you.

Anonymous wrote:Why are you observing the classroom. Parents should not be in the classroom!

I don't think you are educated enough on the subject to understand what you are observing.

Parents should ALWAYS be allowed to observe in the classroom, especially if they are paying $35,000 per year.

Anonymous wrote:I thought I was a compassionate, inclusive typical DC liberal, but I guess I'm not, in the privacy of my own thoughts. I am, frankly, irritated to learn that instruction slows way, way down every single lesson to accommodate the two kids in DS's grade who need extra supports.

If this was occasional, DC (and I) would feel differently but it's constant and shows no end in sight. I think this is the new normal for 80% of DC's classes (save for art, PE and "French"). DS attends an independent school, which is not mandated by IDEA to provide an 'appropriate education' to students with learning challenges. The school values all kinds of learners. This sounded really sweet and noble to me on paper, and it still does conceptually, but it's frustrating in practice.

I say all the right things to DC about inclusiveness and compassion but I'd be lying if I said I'm thrilled to be paying $35,000 a year so the entire class can move at the slowest common denominator pace necessitated by these students.


*The supports amount to the teacher(s) repeating themselves multiple times, restating the idea, waiting until one student processes the information and signals as much. The other student requires that the lesson stop every few minutes, literally (I've seen it) while the teacher(s) reorient the student. Then the teacher(s) must rewind and repeat the last few sentences before adding new information.

Why are you paying $35,000 a year for ANYTHING that doesn't meet your child's needs? You'd be better off in a public school with both GT and SN programs.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I thought I was a compassionate, inclusive typical DC liberal, but I guess I'm not, in the privacy of my own thoughts. I am, frankly, irritated to learn that instruction slows way, way down every single lesson to accommodate the two kids in DS's grade who need extra supports.

If this was occasional, DC (and I) would feel differently but it's constant and shows no end in sight. I think this is the new normal for 80% of DC's classes (save for art, PE and "French"). DS attends an independent school, which is not mandated by IDEA to provide an 'appropriate education' to students with learning challenges. The school values all kinds of learners. This sounded really sweet and noble to me on paper, and it still does conceptually, but it's frustrating in practice.

I say all the right things to DC about inclusiveness and compassion but I'd be lying if I said I'm thrilled to be paying $35,000 a year so the entire class can move at the slowest common denominator pace necessitated by these students.


*The supports amount to the teacher(s) repeating themselves multiple times, restating the idea, waiting until one student processes the information and signals as much. The other student requires that the lesson stop every few minutes, literally (I've seen it) while the teacher(s) reorient the student. Then the teacher(s) must rewind and repeat the last few sentences before adding new information.

Do you ever stop to think that your child may be developmentally challenged when compared to another child in the classroom? This is not meant to be mean or funny, but the reality is that it may be so.

Even amongst well above average learners, there is always a kid or two who can comprehend subjects like math/science at a rate that would make the rest seem like bicycles on the Autobahn.

Anonymous wrote:I thought I was a compassionate, inclusive typical DC liberal, but I guess I'm not, in the privacy of my own thoughts. I am, frankly, irritated to learn that instruction slows way, way down every single lesson to accommodate the two kids in DS's grade who need extra supports.

If this was occasional, DC (and I) would feel differently but it's constant and shows no end in sight. I think this is the new normal for 80% of DC's classes (save for art, PE and "French"). DS attends an independent school, which is not mandated by IDEA to provide an 'appropriate education' to students with learning challenges. The school values all kinds of learners. This sounded really sweet and noble to me on paper, and it still does conceptually, but it's frustrating in practice.

I say all the right things to DC about inclusiveness and compassion but I'd be lying if I said I'm thrilled to be paying $35,000 a year so the entire class can move at the slowest common denominator pace necessitated by these students.


*The supports amount to the teacher(s) repeating themselves multiple times, restating the idea, waiting until one student processes the information and signals as much. The other student requires that the lesson stop every few minutes, literally (I've seen it) while the teacher(s) reorient the student. Then the teacher(s) must rewind and repeat the last few sentences before adding new information.

Do you ever stop to think that your child may be developmentally challenged when compared to another child in the classroom? This is not meant to be mean or funny, but the reality is that it may be so.

Why are you observing the classroom. Parents should not be in the classroom!

I don't think you are educated enough on the subject to understand what you are observing.

Your school is the exception to the rule, OP. Most independents won't touch our kid with a 10-foot pole. Cheers!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I thought I was a compassionate, inclusive typical DC liberal, but I guess I'm not, in the privacy of my own thoughts. I am, frankly, irritated to learn that instruction slows way, way down every single lesson to accommodate the two kids in DS's grade who need extra supports.

If this was occasional, DC (and I) would feel differently but it's constant and shows no end in sight. I think this is the new normal for 80% of DC's classes (save for art, PE and "French"). DS attends an independent school, which is not mandated by IDEA to provide an 'appropriate education' to students with learning challenges. The school values all kinds of learners. This sounded really sweet and noble to me on paper, and it still does conceptually, but it's frustrating in practice.

I say all the right things to DC about inclusiveness and compassion but I'd be lying if I said I'm thrilled to be paying $35,000 a year so the entire class can move at the slowest common denominator pace necessitated by these students.


*The supports amount to the teacher(s) repeating themselves multiple times, restating the idea, waiting until one student processes the information and signals as much. The other student requires that the lesson stop every few minutes, literally (I've seen it) while the teacher(s) reorient the student. Then the teacher(s) must rewind and repeat the last few sentences before adding new information.

Sounds like good teaching practices to me. Kudos to the teacher for making sure that he or she is reaching all learners!

+1

I'm a teacher. These are "best practices". How do you know that she's only doing this for the two kids with SN. There are likely other kids who also benefit from repetition and rephrasing.

Im a special education teacher and while this is commonly stated as best practices, it's not best practice. Differentiated learning should look quite different than direct instruction until everyone understands.

Anonymous wrote:What did you think when you heard "the school values all kind of learners"? Is that code for kids with learning disabilities are welcomed? Is it your first year at the school. What are the other advanced kids doing?

It's fun piling on OP here, but it's quite possible for a school to welcome all kinds of learners and still not have the issue OP is concerned about. It sounds to me is that DC's issue is not so much with helping out the kids who need help, as it is with the lack of individualized instruction. Our school is also welcoming to all kinds of learners, but at the same time there is a ton of individualized instruction so that different kids can move along at the pace that is right for them. The groupings are fluid, they vary from subject to subject, and socially the kids all remain bonded.

So, OP, give yourself a break, I don't think you are lacking compassion so much as just wanting more individualized instruction. And, btw, as for beating yourself up for not being a "typical inclusive liberal" on the inside, I wouldn't do that either. I have a number of friends, who shall remain nameless, who exhibit a wide disconnect between the ideals they espouse in theory and the life choices they make in practice. A lot of people are all for helping out the less fortunate as long as it can be done invisibly and without any effect on them, but that's not how life works. Can't remember who it was who said, only partially in jest, "I love humanity, it's people I can't stand." Connecting ideals to daily practice is an ongoing challenge in life, and is one reason why I don't assign a whole lot of credit to how people talk theoretically, but rather to how they act.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I thought I was a compassionate, inclusive typical DC liberal, but I guess I'm not, in the privacy of my own thoughts. I am, frankly, irritated to learn that instruction slows way, way down every single lesson to accommodate the two kids in DS's grade who need extra supports.

If this was occasional, DC (and I) would feel differently but it's constant and shows no end in sight. I think this is the new normal for 80% of DC's classes (save for art, PE and "French"). DS attends an independent school, which is not mandated by IDEA to provide an 'appropriate education' to students with learning challenges. The school values all kinds of learners. This sounded really sweet and noble to me on paper, and it still does conceptually, but it's frustrating in practice.

I say all the right things to DC about inclusiveness and compassion but I'd be lying if I said I'm thrilled to be paying $35,000 a year so the entire class can move at the slowest common denominator pace necessitated by these students.


*The supports amount to the teacher(s) repeating themselves multiple times, restating the idea, waiting until one student processes the information and signals as much. The other student requires that the lesson stop every few minutes, literally (I've seen it) while the teacher(s) reorient the student. Then the teacher(s) must rewind and repeat the last few sentences before adding new information.

Sounds like good teaching practices to me. Kudos to the teacher for making sure that he or she is reaching all learners!

+1

I'm a teacher. These are "best practices". How do you know that she's only doing this for the two kids with SN. There are likely other kids who also benefit from repetition and rephrasing.

OP again I'm well aware these are current "best practices." I disagree with the extent to which they are employed for all children. It cannot be a "best practice" to deeply frustrate (and lose the engagement of!) of the other 80%.

Teacher will come back now and insist that my DC's teachers must not know how to execute these best practices properly, that they need more training, etc etc. Let me assure you that the gap here can't be bridged by more teacher training. You wouldn't put a 6 year old in the same class as a 16 year old and attempt to teach Tom Sawyer to each in a meaningful way; no teacher is competent enough to pull that off. The situation in my DC's class is similar due to the significance of the special needs. And instead of shooting for the middle, or toggling between assumed learning abilities, the teachers just go with the ability of the kids who need the most support -- every time.

Why do you feel guilty for your thought? I can maybe see if your child was in a public school, but you paying 35k for a service your child is not receiving. You have every right to bitch and moan imo. Nothing to feel guilty about

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I thought I was a compassionate, inclusive typical DC liberal, but I guess I'm not, in the privacy of my own thoughts. I am, frankly, irritated to learn that instruction slows way, way down every single lesson to accommodate the two kids in DS's grade who need extra supports.

If this was occasional, DC (and I) would feel differently but it's constant and shows no end in sight. I think this is the new normal for 80% of DC's classes (save for art, PE and "French"). DS attends an independent school, which is not mandated by IDEA to provide an 'appropriate education' to students with learning challenges. The school values all kinds of learners. This sounded really sweet and noble to me on paper, and it still does conceptually, but it's frustrating in practice.

I say all the right things to DC about inclusiveness and compassion but I'd be lying if I said I'm thrilled to be paying $35,000 a year so the entire class can move at the slowest common denominator pace necessitated by these students.


*The supports amount to the teacher(s) repeating themselves multiple times, restating the idea, waiting until one student processes the information and signals as much. The other student requires that the lesson stop every few minutes, literally (I've seen it) while the teacher(s) reorient the student. Then the teacher(s) must rewind and repeat the last few sentences before adding new information.

Sounds like good teaching practices to me. Kudos to the teacher for making sure that he or she is reaching all learners!

+1

I'm a teacher. These are "best practices". How do you know that she's only doing this for the two kids with SN. There are likely other kids who also benefit from repetition and rephrasing.

Anonymous wrote:OP, sounds like you and this school aren't a good fit. Start looking for a new one. In the meantime your stuck so make the best of it and stop bitching.

I bitch to no one except DCUM. Obv, this isn't something you bring up in polite, highly educated liberal company. It's an unflattering, uncharitable thought that I'm not proud of.

Anonymous wrote:Have you seen this yourself or is this the report you are getting from your DS?

I have seen it myself with respect to one child, a kid who's actually friends with my child -- I feel affection for this kid). WRT to the other child, I haven't seen it first-hand but evidently there has been a change in this child's needs this year that have led to a dramatic change in instruction for every class this child attends. And, my child isn't 4 y.o. and prone to storytelling. The school reports are really concrete and filled with examples.

OP, sounds like you and this school aren't a good fit. Start looking for a new one. In the meantime your stuck so make the best of it and stop bitching.