Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My DH has all those qualities you mentioned except loves kids and not into tv. But that's ok, I'm not really a kid person, and I love tv, too. And he is not religious at all, and facebook didn't exist back then.

I wanted a DH who was handy, both around the house and in bed,too

lucky lady

A good man is hard to find and a hard man is good to find.

Anonymous wrote:My deal breakers
Must be very sensitive/ empathetic
Doesn't look at other women in public
Not into tv or porn
Loves children/ ok with me being a sahm
Didn't have a lot of gfs before me
Not into Facebook
Not materialistic
Ok with buying organic food
Likes to volunteer
This is all I can think of at the moment. Btw, I am married to an amazing, amazing guy so happy I stuck to my deal breaker list. I got married young and am from a conservative religious background. Some friends told me my list was crazy. I thought it would be fun to hear from other women? What were your deal breakers? Especially the unusual ones?

"not into TV or porn" -- uh, there's a difference between watching PBS or a baseball game vs on-line porn, no?

I said a prayer one day for the guy I wanted to find. (divorced from a cheater here):

Should be older than I am
Musical
Gardens
Likes kids
politically compatible
likes fitness but not obsessed
no bad breath (I simply can NOT do it)
divorced like me but doesn't want to have more kids
Not obsessed with national sports entertainment industry like my ex was.

Within a month I found a wonderful man to date who met all my requirements. He was a music teacher, teaches lots of kids and they all love him, he's a master gardener, takes good care of his body and his teeth, divorced not once but twice, and 20 years older than I am. Politically in sync.

Unfortunately he was also extremely cheap. And as far as being older than I am, apparently I wasn't specific enough - he was 20 years older which is a bit much (almost as old as my dad). Loves kids but didn't want to have to BE a dad or dad figure again to young kids (I have two). And a few other problems....


My point, I do now wish I'd be more specific in my check list of deal breakers. Be careful what you wish for indeed.

Anonymous wrote:My deal breakers
Must be very sensitive/ empathetic
Doesn't look at other women in public
Not into tv or porn
Loves children/ ok with me being a sahm
Didn't have a lot of gfs before me
Not into Facebook
Not materialistic
Ok with buying organic food
Likes to volunteer
This is all I can think of at the moment. Btw, I am married to an amazing, amazing guy so happy I stuck to my deal breaker list. I got married young and am from a conservative religious background. Some friends told me my list was crazy. I thought it would be fun to hear from other women? What were your deal breakers? Especially the unusual ones?

DH is all of the above (well except for the conservative part and the young marrying part) and I didn't even have a list. Go figure.

Jewish but suspicious attitude of American support of Israel.

Not into professional sports
Did not discuss his workout in any way
Did not expert me to discuss my workout in any way
Not racist
Not a bigot
No comments about lawyers
No goatees
No mustaches
Must be East Coast

- must be someone I wanted to spend the rest of my life with
- someone I don't run out of things to talk about with
- ok with my being Catholic
- not bothered by my keeping my own name

I never thought about porn and FB didn't exist when I was dating.

Married a great guy with all this and more. Very happy! Go with your gut.

Anonymous wrote:My dealbreakers were basically:

Needs to be able to deal with having a smart, ambitious wife who isn't going to change her name and is probably going to make more money than him

That rules out a lot of guys right there

But not all of them--my high school and college boyfriends (per Facebook) appear to have married women similar to me--and they both (my ex BFs) are both very successful and seem to have nice families

Feminist men exist!

Love this! As a young woman, it's nice to hear.

And yes- not being a feminist is a deal breaker for me. Non-feminists need not apply

My dealbreakers were basically:

Needs to be able to deal with having a smart, ambitious wife who isn't going to change her name and is probably going to make more money than him

That rules out a lot of guys right there

But not all of them--my high school and college boyfriends (per Facebook) appear to have married women similar to me--and they both (my ex BFs) are both very successful and seem to have nice families

Feminist men exist!

I don't want no scrubs.

My deal breakers and must haves are much different


Must be dominant in bedroom.
Open to explore multiple sexual fantasies; must love porn
Must be into having a family
Be okay with a career wife and not a SAHM
Be supportive of career ( ex wasn't)
Be a decent human being

Deal breakers

Men who prefer SAHMS
Not into a family or marriage
Not into a healthy lifestyle and sexual marriage.

No dog lovers/must love cats because I always knew I would be a cat lady. Also, I have terrible insomniac tendencies and wanted someone who would understand that I need a separate bedroom, even if I don't use it all the time; it is horrible to toss in the dark next to someone who has been asleep for hours, trying not to wake that person. DH fulfills both of these needs.

My Deal-breakers include:

* Clean criminal record...No prison record.

* Self supporting, doesn't need to rely on me to support him.

* Non-drug user, no addictions. I.e., Porn, Drugs/Alcohol, Gambling, etc.

* Must be someone I have physical/sexual attraction to. Otherwise, I would simply be marrying my friend.

* Has to have a strong sense of humor, be polite to everyone and be mature and have excellent integrity.

BONUS: Great cook, neat freak, loves cats.

No triathletes. They are all self obsessed narcissists.

Ha, yes. I did not know this when dating, and thankfully DH is not a work-out nut. But I feel for those married to the triathletes and marathoners (at least those with small children).

No triathletes. They are all self obsessed narcissists.