Anonymous wrote:I've heard from others that there is sometimes pressure - subtle to overt - to live a bigger lifestyle so that you're hooked. You buy the lifestyle, you need to keep working. It's getting on the hamster wheel.

Just say no.

Or rather, say yes strategically. I would look to upgrade his car - but you can get a used Mercedes or Acura or Audi.

And yes to wardrobe - get a new suit now and another every three months for him. Upgrade shirts and ties over time, too. Most importantly, have him make sure he's wearing nice, polished shoes.

As long as he projects an upscale image, the rest of it doesn't matter.

Yup this is the best advice here. I would upgrade the car as well but would not get a brand new car. I say keep living modestly - you still have debts. Get rid of that first, THEN think about getting a bigger house, but only after you build a 6 month cushion.

Also - you never know when the gravy train will end, so better to be frugal than not.

Don't let anyone tell you otherwise.

Your DH can buy 5 nice suit to "show the world" and his Partners that he heard their suggestion. After that with his first big paycheck - give the raise to your favorite charity. This will ground you and make you happy and help a cause, which will allow both of you to keep your older model cars, house, and tell the powers that be what you have done with the increase in pay. It should stop them from bringing up the topic again (since they will look very materialistic- had to say it).

I've heard from others that there is sometimes pressure - subtle to overt - to live a bigger lifestyle so that you're hooked. You buy the lifestyle, you need to keep working. It's getting on the hamster wheel.

Just say no.

Or rather, say yes strategically. I would look to upgrade his car - but you can get a used Mercedes or Acura or Audi.

And yes to wardrobe - get a new suit now and another every three months for him. Upgrade shirts and ties over time, too. Most importantly, have him make sure he's wearing nice, polished shoes.

As long as he projects an upscale image, the rest of it doesn't matter.

450k will be gone in a second if you upgrade to a big house, private schools and expensive cars.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Show of hands: how many partners have driven clients in the past 2 weeks? 2 months? 2 years?
For me: zero zero zero.
DH does take clients golfing and other outings and they always manage just fine in DH's Mercedes with 110,000 miles and the associate's ZIP car.

We host work-related dinners and parties often. Which we couldn't do in a $500k house in the middle of nowhere. So, I understand OP's concern as a real one. No need to go overboard, though.

And that seems strange or your dh or you is volunteering too often. There is absolutely no need to host anything at your house to entertain clients.

DH interviewed for a job in another state. There was an expectation that he purchase a home right away and enroll the kids in private school, like everyone did. DH wanted to rent b/c that was at a time of many foreclosures/ uncertain real estate market. they were decidedly NOT open to that idea. So we did not move there -- Yes we thought they wanted to tie us to the area from day 1. but in DC not so much. However, in Biglaw, if you look at the directory, ALL partners live in elite zip codes. Most new partners either bough a house or a car to celebrate -- more like a Mercedes, or a BMW, etc
There is definitly social pressure to live in a big house and have a nice suit. But you can look like a slob if you are bringing in big clients -- that is the bottom line.

I've heard experiences similar to PP. At some law firms (yes, here in D.C.) senior partners encourage junior partners to finance an expensive lifestyle. This basically locks them in to putting in a lot of billable hours in order to afford their financed lifestyle (until they become senior partners).

Wow. I guess this is a good example of why lawyers--even the highly successful ones--generally do a poor job of accumulating and growing wealth. We're in the same income range with a lower profile, and if anything, we're actively trying to downplay our wealth. $450k in W-2 income is, what? $275k? And they want you to spend the first $100k of that on an electric car toy?

This doesn't sound like the experience of any of the partners I know. More like something from The Firm.

Anonymous wrote:This is BS. Large law firm clients in DC are mostly in other cities or countries and you fly there once to meet them and a few times to prep them for depositions or the like. Most clients are business casual and you wear like a turtle neck and nice pants or button down no iron brooks brothers shirt with a blazer. This is so fake.

I meant most clients of large law firms in DC.

This is BS. Large law firm clients in DC are mostly in other cities or countries and you fly there once to meet them and a few times to prep them for depositions or the like. Most clients are business casual and you wear like a turtle neck and nice pants or button down no iron brooks brothers shirt with a blazer. This is so fake.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Show of hands: how many partners have driven clients in the past 2 weeks? 2 months? 2 years?
For me: zero zero zero.
DH does take clients golfing and other outings and they always manage just fine in DH's Mercedes with 110,000 miles and the associate's ZIP car.

We host work-related dinners and parties often. Which we couldn't do in a $500k house in the middle of nowhere. So, I understand OP's concern as a real one. No need to go overboard, though.

OP didn't say their house is in the middle of nowhere.

Anonymous wrote:My husband just made junior partner in a biglaw firm. After his benefits, he will be pulling in 450k for the next few years (projected).

We live a very modest lifestyle, but partners have told him they expect him to "up his game" with clients in terms of projected lifestyle.

Any insight as to what is reasonable? We still have law school debt and 2 young kids. My husband drives an old Camry (well maintained) and I drive a used dodge minivan - no car notes. We live in a modest 500k SFH in the DC area with a decent sized mortgage.

What kind of car should he get? What is "too much"? One partner even went as far to recommend a tesla.

I half expect a comment on the necessity of private schools as years go on.

Ick

Run away

Anonymous wrote:Show of hands: how many partners have driven clients in the past 2 weeks? 2 months? 2 years?
For me: zero zero zero.
DH does take clients golfing and other outings and they always manage just fine in DH's Mercedes with 110,000 miles and the associate's ZIP car.

We host work-related dinners and parties often. Which we couldn't do in a $500k house in the middle of nowhere. So, I understand OP's concern as a real one. No need to go overboard, though.

Show of hands: how many partners have driven clients in the past 2 weeks? 2 months? 2 years?
For me: zero zero zero.
DH does take clients golfing and other outings and they always manage just fine in DH's Mercedes with 110,000 miles and the associate's ZIP car.