Anonymous wrote:Mom of twins who are about to turn 4. The past 3-4 months with one of them has been absolute hell on wheels. He makes us feel like total failures as parents.

The other one has manageable tantrums etc... but is generally incredibly easy to parent and makes us look like rockstars.

One of the silver linings of twins that with identical treatment they can be so incredibly different - so some of it is clearly just innate personality (rather than awful parenting!)

Thanks for this!!!

Anonymous wrote:You haven't heard about the "fucking fours" yet? Sorry to break it to you...

Four had its moments, for sure, but they were predictable. At four, I would open a kid's yogurt and get a meltdown, and I would think, "Oh, crap, right, this one freaks out if he doesn't get to open it himself." I didn't get why things were such a big deal, but I knew that, like Jezebel, I had done wrong and needed to be punished.

Three-year-olds freak out if they ask for yogurt, you ask who should open it, they say you, and you open it. NOT because they decided they wanted to open it, but because something about the way you opened it was wrong.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote: It depends on you, a ton. Curve, and nip the bad behavior with consistency and no empty threats.

Nonsense.

Nonsense said by someone, with probably no control.

Three was always the year I wondered when consistency was going to pay off, because all of my kids were going off the rails, daily. It was exhausting for all of us.

Hang on, OP! Four is so much better.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote: It depends on you, a ton. Curve, and nip the bad behavior with consistency and no empty threats.

Nonsense.

Nonsense said by someone, with probably no control.

I think all of age 3 (even if close to age 4) is hard! They also tend to have more trouble with transitions during this period, at least in my experience, than they seem to at slightly older or young ages.