Anonymous
Post 08/11/2015 10:18     Subject: family visiting with dogs
Anonymous wrote:When we travel to our parents or siblings homes we bring our dog and they bring theirs. Same with out friends. I'm not sure id be offended but I probably wouldn't be able to visit if they didn't allow our dog. We do plan trips around the dog. Probably not what you want to hear. But I know we aren't unique.

We don't have children and we allow friends to bring theirs when they stay overnight. A toddler is insanely destructive but we couldn't really say no.


I love dogs but going here is just INSANE. Here's why, dogs aren't fucking people, no matter how much you try to equate the two or how many damn sad Sarah McLaughlin commercials are on TV. You can board your dogs, you can't drop your toddler at a freaking vet's office for the weekend to play with others and sleep in a crate. Also your dog will 100% die after a relatively (compared to humans) life and you will move on, and even probably have more dogs. If you think its the same kind of courage it takes to "move on" if say, a 12 year old child died (vs. a 12 year old lab) then you are delusional. Kids can't be compared to dogs. They just can't.
Anonymous
Post 08/11/2015 10:07     Subject: family visiting with dogs
Anonymous wrote:Just say no. You can't store the dogs in the basement. We tried that once. Not good. Dog attacked guest.


Wow. Someone brought their aggressive dog to your house?
Anonymous
Post 08/11/2015 09:45     Subject: family visiting with dogs
Just say no. You can't store the dogs in the basement. We tried that once. Not good. Dog attacked guest.
Anonymous
Post 08/11/2015 09:19     Subject: family visiting with dogs
Just say no. Say it is too much with the baby...do whatever you need to do to set the precedent that the dogs don't come.

Tell your ILs that you are not letting anyone visit with pets, as a house rule. It's not just them.

But really, they are very rude to assume their dog comes too.
Anonymous
Post 08/11/2015 09:19     Subject: family visiting with dogs
Anonymous wrote:Dog owner here. Your house, your rules. The invitation does not extend to the dogs. They need to board them or get a dog sitter.


+1

We had this situation at a rental house, involving small dogs. One guest (non family) brought their dog, so the family member did. We could not possibly be reasonable about chaining the rules for family. But in a house that you own, you make the rules, bottom line. I could not imagine taking any of my dogs to someone's house, if I was staying with them, if they invited me, if they said specifically no to all dogs. Rude.
Anonymous
Post 08/11/2015 09:11     Subject: family visiting with dogs
Dog owner here. Your house, your rules. The invitation does not extend to the dogs. They need to board them or get a dog sitter.
Anonymous
Post 08/11/2015 01:20     Subject: family visiting with dogs
Anonymous wrote:Is there a middle ground? My SIL doesn't like dogs and so when we celebrate holidays at her house we put the dogs in her unfinished basement. We respect her wishes not to have the dogs in finished living space but the dogs are better off than in a kennel because we play outside with them and walk them. She could have said no though and we would have respected that but I love that she gave us another workable option.


Have you thought she is only agreeing to make you happy and would prefer them not in her home. Be respectful and make another plan. We'd probably agree to that but I would be very upset and do what ever we could not to invite you over if it meant bringing the dogs. I am not a dog person and don't want the hair or smell in my home.
Anonymous
Post 08/11/2015 01:01     Subject: family visiting with dogs
Anonymous wrote:My dog is my child. Our relationship is unhealthy and codependent. I want her with me at all times. I would bring her to work if I could. She takes up a huge amount of my day and I love it. She's sleeps with me under the covers and her head on my pillow. She's on all furniture. Nothing in my home is off limits to her.
I have issues.

And I am telling you there is nothing wrong with wanting a dog free home. Your IL's should really respect that. Especially if they are big, furry, and unruly.

I am a seriously crazy dog lady. I am saying your feelings are reasonable and valid. Your IL's need to board their babies.[/quote


Your dog sounds adorable.
Anonymous
Post 08/11/2015 00:42     Subject: family visiting with dogs
Is there a middle ground? My SIL doesn't like dogs and so when we celebrate holidays at her house we put the dogs in her unfinished basement. We respect her wishes not to have the dogs in finished living space but the dogs are better off than in a kennel because we play outside with them and walk them. She could have said no though and we would have respected that but I love that she gave us another workable option.
Anonymous
Post 08/10/2015 23:55     Subject: family visiting with dogs
My dog is my child. Our relationship is unhealthy and codependent. I want her with me at all times. I would bring her to work if I could. She takes up a huge amount of my day and I love it. She's sleeps with me under the covers and her head on my pillow. She's on all furniture. Nothing in my home is off limits to her.
I have issues.

And I am telling you there is nothing wrong with wanting a dog free home. Your IL's should really respect that. Especially if they are big, furry, and unruly.

I am a seriously crazy dog lady. I am saying your feelings are reasonable and valid. Your IL's need to board their babies.
Anonymous
Post 08/10/2015 22:11     Subject: Re:family visiting with dogs
Anonymous wrote:Thank you again from the OP here. I love the advice of setting the precedent and never bringing it up again. We set that precedent at our condo, and although there was an initial emotional response/guilt trip, they did respect our wishes. I worry that it's going to come up again because we now have more space, but after reading these posts I realize we need to stick to our guns, not make up white lies or excuses. We just don't want the dogs staying here and it has nothing to do with allergies or lack of space. It will be hard to do and awkward but we'll say it's our house policy.

Wish me luck!


Exactly right. Good luck! You are lucky to have your spouse in agreement backing you up.
Anonymous
Post 08/10/2015 21:46     Subject: Re:family visiting with dogs
And yes --- if they can afford to have dogs and travel, they should be able to budget in the boarding and care for them.
Anonymous
Post 08/10/2015 21:45     Subject: Re:family visiting with dogs
Thank you again from the OP here. I love the advice of setting the precedent and never bringing it up again. We set that precedent at our condo, and although there was an initial emotional response/guilt trip, they did respect our wishes. I worry that it's going to come up again because we now have more space, but after reading these posts I realize we need to stick to our guns, not make up white lies or excuses. We just don't want the dogs staying here and it has nothing to do with allergies or lack of space. It will be hard to do and awkward but we'll say it's our house policy.

Wish me luck!
Anonymous
Post 08/10/2015 21:39     Subject: family visiting with dogs
No, it is not rude to say "no" to hosting an IL's (or anyone else's) dog (or cat or guinea pit or parrot, etc) in your house. That is why people ASK if they can bring their pet along. If it is not o.k. tell them that it is not o.k. If they must bring their pet along they can stay at a nearby pet friendly hotel.
Anonymous
Post 08/10/2015 21:22     Subject: family visiting with dogs
Just say no, OP. Say no the first time and then stick to it forever. They can board the dogs or hire a pet sitter to stay at their place or check in on their place and walk the dogs a couple times a day. If they can afford to have dogs, they can afford to provide for their care while away. You are NOT required to let their dogs stay with you.