Anonymous wrote:I also think that if you have a child who self selects a limited diet (not talking about a kid with allergies), it's reasonable to explain to her that she needs to be appreciative if nanny makes an effort, and that she can't be super picky on top of being vegetarian.

or, if she is going to be picky, she has to help cook (and plan meals). I'll add here that opinions (yours, hers, the nanny's) about what constitutes picky may vary -- I don't think that a vegetarian should have to eat whatever healthy vegetarian meal is put in front of her, regardless of whether she likes how it tastes (especially when she's the only vegetarian eating). But if she likes only a limited number of ingredients, then she's got to be willing to sacrifice variety (or produce it herself) (or be willing to sub in TV dinners) rather than insist that the people who cook for her learn how to make a dozen different tofu dishes (if that's not something they're interested in doing). OTOH, some carnivores think vegetarians are picky when they don't want chicken or beef broth included in their meals. That's a potential conflict I'd resolve in favor of the vegetarian. Default broth is vegetable -- the carnivores can live with that.

Anonymous wrote:I'm a vegetarian and DS and DW aren't. No need to cook two dinners. Veggie crumbles for ground beef in sauce, veggie burger in place of hamburger, haloumi cheese to grill when family grills meat (or grilled extra firm tofu). It is absolutely zero trouble or drama. Expecting a 10YO to cook is silly.

10 and 13 are great ages for kids to learn to cook, regardless of whether they eat the same food as their family.

I wouldn't expect a kid that age to cook every night, but if a child is asserting her maturity by making an ethical decision like this, she's old enough to participate in the solution. Scrambling her own age, grilling her own piece of cheese or veggie burger, etc . . . is hardly a difficult task. Similarly, if the adult in charge makes a vegetarian meal, and the OP's son really wants meat, he's old enough to prepare something too.

The most important thing to tell a child contemplating this is it means eating vegetables. It doesn't mean eating nothing but cheese pizza and pasta.

There are lots of meals -- pasta, chili, and tacos/burritos instantly come to mind -- where you can add meat at the end and/or only to a portion. I do that all the time and it feels like one meal prep to me. And, as others have said, omelette and veggie burgers are quick & easy backup options for vegetarians (yogurt and fruit salad is another DD favorite) when the main course doesn't lend itself to the modular approach. Black beans and lentils tend to work as crossover proteins (attractive to both the vegetarian and the omnivores) in our house.

Sounds like a good time to start teaching both kids to cook. And stock the freezer with Amy's, WF, and Trader Joe's veggie dinners.

I'm a vegetarian and DS and DW aren't. No need to cook two dinners. Veggie crumbles for ground beef in sauce, veggie burger in place of hamburger, haloumi cheese to grill when family grills meat (or grilled extra firm tofu). It is absolutely zero trouble or drama. Expecting a 10YO to cook is silly.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Your nanny is lazy!! Get a new nanny! 10-11 is too young for meal preparation. Seriously, fire your nanny. Fucking lazy!!

+1

Is thought so, and the. Read her hours. Not enough time to do homework and cook two meals, and drive... Only 2 hours after.

You won't find a new nanny with those hours. Time to do more cooking yourself.

I'm a vegetarian and when I'm with DH's family I'll eat what they eat minus the meat. I often just pop a veggie burger in the microwave for my protein, or I'll get the packaged baked tofu at either trader joes or whole foods (teriyaki flavor is my favorite). Or you can keep some beans in the fridge, or maybe some prepared egg salad...she can eat these things with the sides the nanny has prepared.

Anonymous wrote:Why wouldn't you expect your DS to cook for himself but would expect your (younger) DD to do so? Is it because he's a male?

Look Ma! I found a feminist! Can I keep it?? PWEESE? ...

Anonymous wrote:Batch cook things on the weekend. Nanny makes salads, sides, and each kid can reheat something that they eat from the freezer/ fridge (stews, soups, chicken, etc).

While the allergy kid must absolutely be protected and not get things they can't eat, they also should always dictate the meal choices of the entire family.

Or, there's a a family meal and whoever doesn't eat it gets to make themselves a peanut butter/sun butter and jelly sandwich. Or a bowl of cereal.

Sorry should NOT always dictate....

Batch cook things on the weekend. Nanny makes salads, sides, and each kid can reheat something that they eat from the freezer/ fridge (stews, soups, chicken, etc).

While the allergy kid must absolutely be protected and not get things they can't eat, they also should always dictate the meal choices of the entire family.

Or, there's a a family meal and whoever doesn't eat it gets to make themselves a peanut butter/sun butter and jelly sandwich. Or a bowl of cereal.

I would teach her how to cook, ASAP.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why can't your son eat the same thing as your daughter on the days that the nanny cooks?

Perhaps because many healthy options for vegetarians include nuts or eggs?

There are plenty of healthy options that have nothing to do with either of those. Lentils, tofu, seitan, etc.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'd make extra and freeze some leftovers. I'd have each kid learn a couple easy dishes. Vegetarian kid can learn to scramble some eggs, or to make black beans and rice, or to microwave a veggie burger. Omnivore kid can learn to stick some salmon under the broiler, or fry up a hamburger. Then they have options when the nanny cooks something that only works for one kid.

OP here.
Actually, she does make eggs for breakfast sometimes. So maybe that's an idea for her for some days.
And as one of the previous posters said, my son could make some bacon. He would be happy about it.
I'm trying to see the nanny's side and I understand to a point - she only has an hour before they have to leave, so supervising homework, folding laundry, letting dogs out, cooking meat, pasta and vegetables at the same time might get overwhelming.
But I like some of the ideas mentioned before - on those days my DD could easily grab a yogurt or make some eggs.
I think I know how I'm going to approach this.
We really love our nanny. She is extremely flexible with our crazy hours and she truly loves my kids. She's been with us for almost two years.
I was taken aback by what she said. My DD can be a picky eater at times and she probably got concerned that it would be too much for her to handle.

I'm the top PP here.

It sounds like you have a wonderful nanny. Nannies who drive and are willing to work a split shift are very hard to find,. Adding in the fact that she relates well to older kids and they apparently listen to her, makes her a true treasure. If she's saying that making a second meal is too much in limited time, then that's reasonable.

There are plenty of easy things to have on hand, veggie burgers, cheese sandwich, some lentil soup that just needs to be heated or defrosted, peanut noodles, a bunch of hardboiled eggs, hummus and veggies . . .

I also think that if you have a child who self selects a limited diet (not talking about a kid with allergies), it's reasonable to explain to her that she needs to be appreciative if nanny makes an effort, and that she can't be super picky on top of being vegetarian.

Anonymous wrote:I'd make extra and freeze some leftovers. I'd have each kid learn a couple easy dishes. Vegetarian kid can learn to scramble some eggs, or to make black beans and rice, or to microwave a veggie burger. Omnivore kid can learn to stick some salmon under the broiler, or fry up a hamburger. Then they have options when the nanny cooks something that only works for one kid.

OP here.
Actually, she does make eggs for breakfast sometimes. So maybe that's an idea for her for some days.
And as one of the previous posters said, my son could make some bacon. He would be happy about it.
I'm trying to see the nanny's side and I understand to a point - she only has an hour before they have to leave, so supervising homework, folding laundry, letting dogs out, cooking meat, pasta and vegetables at the same time might get overwhelming.
But I like some of the ideas mentioned before - on those days my DD could easily grab a yogurt or make some eggs.
I think I know how I'm going to approach this.
We really love our nanny. She is extremely flexible with our crazy hours and she truly loves my kids. She's been with us for almost two years.
I was taken aback by what she said. My DD can be a picky eater at times and she probably got concerned that it would be too much for her to handle.

I'd make extra and freeze some leftovers. I'd have each kid learn a couple easy dishes. Vegetarian kid can learn to scramble some eggs, or to make black beans and rice, or to microwave a veggie burger. Omnivore kid can learn to stick some salmon under the broiler, or fry up a hamburger. Then they have options when the nanny cooks something that only works for one kid.