She is 68 years old

How old is your mother?

Carolyn Hax always recommends NAMI as a resource in situations like these.

Anonymous wrote:OP here again. One complication to mention: as my mom is irratic/spontaneous, she decided she would gut renovate her kitchen WHILE she had the anemia and doctors warned her to get tested for cancer in the past months, and instead she has been living without a sink or any furniture apparently for the past few months -- still on the aerobed I leant her months ago -- she's telling me how awful her apartment is for sleeping and how "comfortable" and "nice" my home is now. Instead of getting the blood transfusion the doctor wanted her to get this week, she is driving around looking at marble for her counters...... I just am terrified to have this crazy in my own home without any limits....

Get the kitchen fixed and get her some comfortable, used furniture ASAP. If you have to pay for it, so be it. It's worth it to keep her out of your house.

Even if she moves in with u, she won't change, and history will repeat itself, except u have nowhere to run. Accept that she's a capable adult, and if she doesn't care about her health, that's her prerogative.

If she likes the aerobed that much, tell her it's your house warming gift to her. Protect yourself from future heartaches.

This almost exact same scenario happened to our next door neighbor, except it was her grown daughter in her 40s. She moved in and it was supposed to be temporary. Ended up that her irrational behavior began to carry over into the neighborhood. She began coming over to our house and demanding that we cut the trees on the border between our two houses, that they were "overhanging her mother's house and ruining the roof." We said we would happily discuss it with her mother, to whom the house actually belonged. Her mother kept telling us not to worry about it, that her daughter was ill. Fast-forward seven months and the daughter was out in the backyard at 4 a.m., screaming at passers-by and at our windows, calling us by name and threatening to kill us (I have three young children). Her mother had her committed 10 times, and she was released every time. The cops knew us on a first-name basis. It was the worst hell of my life. And supposedly she was bipolar, but by the time everyone's personal hell had ended she was on court-ordered medication for schizophrenia, served time in jail and her mother sold the house for much less than it was worth just so she could flee the county, and the daughter could move in with her sister. I have literally never, ever seen anything like it.

Botton line: don't let her move in with you.

Oh boy, don't do it, OP. She'll never leave. Once she's in, that's it. And she still won't go to her appointments.

OP here again. One complication to mention: as my mom is irratic/spontaneous, she decided she would gut renovate her kitchen WHILE she had the anemia and doctors warned her to get tested for cancer in the past months, and instead she has been living without a sink or any furniture apparently for the past few months -- still on the aerobed I leant her months ago -- she's telling me how awful her apartment is for sleeping and how "comfortable" and "nice" my home is now. Instead of getting the blood transfusion the doctor wanted her to get this week, she is driving around looking at marble for her counters...... I just am terrified to have this crazy in my own home without any limits....

Is the pressuring relative a sibling? If so, they probably mean well but it is a bad idea to let her move in with you.

As others have said, take time off and go with her to her appointments and speak with her physicians so that you will know what the diagnostics are and medications prescribed. If she does have a terminal condition, she can still stay in her home with at home nursing care if she can afford it.