Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Maybe it's because I've been married a long time and don't care any more what the IL's think of me, but why on earth do so many of you put up with being treated so poorly? I had two rotten vacations with my MIL. Now I just won't go. She can fume all she wants. If my DH wants to go, he takes the kids and I have a few days to myself at home. Win win!!!

This is me! This is the first year I've skipped it, because the accommodations were too small for so many people. Who wants to spend vacation time being miserable?

This is me too. First time I'm missing vacation with the MIL and DH's step father. My MIL has a 2bdrm house and it's just too small she's on the west coast we are in VA. Everyone is stepping on the other all time. I'm so excited about having a couple of days to myself.

We thought we were staying at the family house, when we got there my MIL informed us "oh wait, there isn't room for you here, you have to stay with (crazy raving alcoholic gun toting right wing mess of a man) Uncle Joe" who had a shit shack nearby.
We get to Uncle Joes and he shows us the "guest room". The only thing I could accurately take in was dirty (and I mean poop streak dirty) underwear lying all over the unmade bed.
Garbage was on the floor, it reeked.
I told my DH there was no way on earth we were staying there.
There are no hotels nearby.
We had flown across the country
We ended up going back to the Inlaws who we were furious we were so "uppity" and they begrudgingly allowed us to sleep on couch cushions on the floor of the living room.
For 3 nights
They get up at 530 am and wanted to sit on the couch.

My kid gave her cousin lice.

Sure I won't live that one down for a long long time.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My FIL yelled at my MIL after breakfast yesterday.

Well, if that were my parents, that would be yelling incident one of twenty on a daily basis. Count yourself lucky (also that you didn't have to grow up listening to it).

Oh but I did, PP. this is why I find it unacceptable. And why I don't vacation with my own mother, who divorced my father to marry a man who yells just as much as my father.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Maybe it's because I've been married a long time and don't care any more what the IL's think of me, but why on earth do so many of you put up with being treated so poorly? I had two rotten vacations with my MIL. Now I just won't go. She can fume all she wants. If my DH wants to go, he takes the kids and I have a few days to myself at home. Win win!!!

This is me! This is the first year I've skipped it, because the accommodations were too small for so many people. Who wants to spend vacation time being miserable?

+1

And the ILs invite more people every year. Ridiculous. Not doing me any favors!

Anonymous wrote:All of you should be arranging & paying for your own vacation home rentals - for just your immediate family. Stay near family if that happens to work. Otherwise- moochers have no right to complain - ever

You have no idea. My friends all own their own vacation homes, with plenty of space. We use their gorgeous houses any time we want. Except those options are limited, because every year, without fail, the ILs rent a too-small house and invite too many people. And every year, it sucks. MIL thinks I am her personal dishwasher. She also tends to yell at me for things I don't do. She needs a scapegoat, and guess who that might be? So, I refuse to go, because it is nothing short of painful. But DH and the kids go, because otherwise, they would never see the ILs, who make no effort to see them, when they only live about ten minutes away. So DH and the children drive eight hours every year, and eat up vacation time that DH does not have, only to be treated like second class citizens. When instead, we could all be much happier together in our friends nicer, free beach houses, with people who actually act like they want us there. What a concept. Yeah, some ILs are arseholes. If yours are not, learn to shut it and be grateful.

Not everyone is a moocher, PP. Some of us try to to do the right thing, and still get treated like crap by really sick, dysfunctional people, with whom we happen to share DNA. Don't act like its our fault, when the ILs piss poor behavior is completely unprompted, except by their own crap lives, that have nothing to do with us. Some ILs would had poor behavior well before their children married. You sound very naive, ungrateful, or both - to not realize this.

Anonymous wrote:- I was taking a shower and my MIL wandered into the bedroom, poked around my dresser and then tried on almost all of my jewelry and then proceeded to WEAR IT ALL DAY. This includes my engagement ring.

- On the night I was in charge of dinner, I made a meal I had been confident was a favorite of MIL's (she's made it herself several times when we'd been over, raved about it, and both DH and FIL have said separately how much she likes it). She sat down and looked at the meal before saying "Oh, I don't eat that. I only eat ... organic meat." I replied, "It is organic." She then said, "Oh. I ... don't eat meat." So I said "Oh, you've stopped eating meat? Okay, well there's plenty to eat with all the sides." She shook her head, "Oh no, that would make me too full." Too full for WHAT? Dinner? I gave up at that point.

-FIL farts and acts like it didn't happen because he thinks nobody can hear it.

- FIL pulled DH aside and quietly suggested it was inappropriate of me to wear a bikini when we went to the beach. Luckily I trained DH to be a feminist so he was able to properly defend me, but it wasn't enough to stop FIL from looking at me over his glasses, pursing his lips, sighing and shaking his head each time he saw me in a bikini. Had to resist the urge to say "Why don't you just come right out and call me a harlot?"

Awesome. You should. My MIL (whom I love) flipped her shit when I told her I was going to paint my toenails red for my wedding. I like red. And it was a long dress; you wouldn't have seen them anyway. She was really upset but wouldn't tell me why. Finally I said, "it's because you think red toenails are for whores, right?" And she had to admit yes, she did, and she just didn't want me to look trashy at my wedding. I was really tempted to do it anyway but I do love her so I gave in and went with a neutral color. But 5 years later I still bring it up occasionally just to make her squirm.

All of you should be arranging & paying for your own vacation home rentals - for just your immediate family. Stay near family if that happens to work. Otherwise- moochers have no right to complain - ever

Anonymous wrote:Maybe it's because I've been married a long time and don't care any more what the IL's think of me, but why on earth do so many of you put up with being treated so poorly? I had two rotten vacations with my MIL. Now I just won't go. She can fume all she wants. If my DH wants to go, he takes the kids and I have a few days to myself at home. Win win!!!

This is me! This is the first year I've skipped it, because the accommodations were too small for so many people. Who wants to spend vacation time being miserable?

Anonymous wrote:Maybe it's because I've been married a long time and don't care any more what the IL's think of me, but why on earth do so many of you put up with being treated so poorly? I had two rotten vacations with my MIL. Now I just won't go. She can fume all she wants. If my DH wants to go, he takes the kids and I have a few days to myself at home. Win win!!!

+1

No lie. That sneaky hag can have her "vacations" all to herself; and do her own dishes, too!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We're coming up the first vacation with my family in years. It will either be an absolute blast and we'll have an amazing time OR it will be a nightmare and we'll leave early to escape the drama. My sister is Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde and there is no telling who we'll get.

On previous vacations: she locked me out; told me at 1 AM I needed to go sleep in a tent in the yard of the beach house as one of her kids needed the bed (they'd peed their bed); thrown out all of the food I brought and told me to go buy more; told me when I arrived (after a 8 hour drive) she changed her mind and I wasn't invited even though I'd already paid my share of the rental. On the other hand, on good vacations, she's organized amazing outings, we've stayed up all night having amazing conversations, now that I have kids she's AMAZING with them, and she's given me the best guidance and advice I've ever gotten.

I love her, she's a beautiful mess of a woman and I'm keeping my fingers crossed.

Wtf? You take advice from this evil person ?

Is the sister bipolar?
Did you really give up your bed for the pee-pee kid? Please say you did not.

Maybe it's because I've been married a long time and don't care any more what the IL's think of me, but why on earth do so many of you put up with being treated so poorly? I had two rotten vacations with my MIL. Now I just won't go. She can fume all she wants. If my DH wants to go, he takes the kids and I have a few days to myself at home. Win win!!!

Please do call a hotline tonight 1800 273 8255.

Most of us have a year in our lives where everything seemed to fall apart, even the Queen. It really does get better. I had one year where my mom got cancer, my grandparents died, my boyfriend broke up with me, I couldn't find a job, and I got chicken pox. It really did start to turn around though after a year.

I think you need to surround yourself with people who appreciate you. This can come from work or volunteering.

Anonymous wrote:I am the only one in my family who is not married.

They systematically isolate and exclude me.

Today my sister admitted to me in an angry way, "yes I exclude you. Because you are a bitch and I don't like to be around you."

My boyfriend just broke up with me. I don't have a place to live.

I have no one.

I feel so alone.

There is a high rise hotel half a mile away. I keep thinking of checking in, asking for a room on the top floor, and jumping off.

Don't do that. Your life has value and worth. We see you, we "hear" you...and you matter in this world. Even to your angry sister who also probably has some issues going on for her to have lashed out at you that way.

Call a hotline TONIGHT to get through until tomorrow. But when the new day starts, look in the mirror and tell yourself "I can DO this!" and then take the next step in getting a place to live. One day at a time is all we have. And if that's too much, try 10 minutes at a time. You can do anything for 10 minutes! And pretty soon, you'll be able to do it for a day, then for a week...until it gets better! Good luck to you!

pp, it will get better! Please call a hotline if necessary. They can really help! We have all had low times.