I'd love to meet them so I csn tell them that there is a plane leaving every day that will take them back to their hovel in the old country.

remind them not to bite the hand that feeds them (you) and let them know the hand that feeds can be the had that beats

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op again: I've gotten very think skinned hearing them tell me that I can't understand their problems with this country because Americans are too ignorant. I do understand the politics involved, on an academic level anyway. But it always brings me back to the question: why are you here if you hate it so much? Is it just to take my money? Or are you dishonest in how much you hate it? Because they actually can go home, it is a choice in their case.

But if you're talking Middle East politics, well, Americans are very ignorant. They're right about that. But of course it sounds like those complaints on top of the burden they're placing on you is what is really bothering you. I totally understand. I think the pp who suggested that you suggest that they get involved in working for change had great advice. I would hope that would shut them up.

You would think. Ive suggested several ways or paths to effect change or at least be amongst like minded people. But they don't do it; they just tell me that I don't understand. I've given up engaging with them on an advice front. Useless. Their attitude just feels so patronizing. "Stupid little Americans can't understand." But I've actually got a master degree and 15 years experience in the field. I'm not uninformed. But I'm honestly wondering if the gulf is politics or just boorishness on their part. Americans may be stupid about politics, but I can't say I've seen Americans make their home in another country, take their benefits, and be so ungrateful.

Some immigrant groups find that they don't fit in and don't experience the same level of success or prestige as they did in their country of origin. They responded by generally shit-talking the U.S. culture, people, and food to compensate.

I think maybe your husband should help them understand that they are constantly saying things that they probably do not mean and that it is not resulting in a healthy home environment.

Anonymous wrote:Op again: I've gotten very think skinned hearing them tell me that I can't understand their problems with this country because Americans are too ignorant. I do understand the politics involved, on an academic level anyway. But it always brings me back to the question: why are you here if you hate it so much? Is it just to take my money? Or are you dishonest in how much you hate it? Because they actually can go home, it is a choice in their case.

But if you're talking Middle East politics, well, Americans are very ignorant. They're right about that. But of course it sounds like those complaints on top of the burden they're placing on you is what is really bothering you. I totally understand. I think the pp who suggested that you suggest that they get involved in working for change had great advice. I would hope that would shut them up.

I like the idea of asking them to talk about their home country. Shift the focus.

Why ARE they here? To be with their son and grandchildren? Which country are they from?

Anonymous wrote:I just think you need a better response. More like, "If you hate X so much, why aren't you more active in trying to change the law?" rather than the old, "if you don't like it, leave" comment, which is a false dichotomy. There are very reasonable alternatives to loving the USA or leaving it. Those are not the only options. Those options also suggest it's not ok to fight to change things but to accept or move- not very American in spirit.

Good advice!

They're idiots, because there is always a good and bad side to every country. So if they only talk about the bad, it's not only rude but also stupid of them.

Change the subject pointedly.

- foreigner living in the US

The real issue is that you're angry that they're living off of you. You need to take this up with your husband. You say they can move back to their country and be self supporting. If the current set-up isn't working out for you, and you feel much more resentful and angry than you'd anticipated, talk to him. What does he have to say?

My in-laws are immigrants, and I have lots of immigrant friends and acquaintances, as is typical for this area. It's kind of sad how many actively despise Americans and most American ways, and are very open about it, not realizing or caring that it can be offensive. We Americans are big on self-criticism and free speech, and this is part of the downside--immigrants who whine about us in between suckling at our teat.

Of course you wouldn't tell an American that, we are from here. Where would be go back to. Your inlaws sound boorish.

"I'm tired to hearing this"

when it happens again, leave the room.

Anonymous wrote:What do they dislike about our countries politics? I'm interested in this

Our Mid East policies. I agree with them on much of the politics. It's not a political beef I have with them. It's more personal. It's cheap (free even) to bitch about it. But I think the pp is totally right. If they had to focus of working for a living, like I do, they'd have less time to complain. I just feel taken advantage of.

Do they watch too much TV? Don't let them watch it! Put NPR on the radio. It's easy to feel like you're on another planet when you watch Fox etc.

Do tell you husband that it bothers you, after all this your home country. As for them, ask them about politics back home and if they can elaborate more of what they like about that brand of politics, I can assure you there will be no reply.