Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Rent a Don John. Problem solved. Not only that, maybe they'll take the hint.

+1000

PP here. LOVE this idea. Please do this, OP!

My aunt did this for my cousin's wedding on the cape. All the males were used that. All the females used the indoor bathroom.

I'm poster 21:35, and I think many of the pp's are assuming a lot of negative stuff about your sisters and your relationship with them that just might not be there. Op, this is your family - don't be a doormat, but also don't go creating drama where there is none. I would speak directly with everyone and see what you can work out (and I stand by my suggestion) - I suspect your sisters are just entrenched in their own routines there and see things from a different perspective than you - it doesn't make them selfish, especially if you haven't made them aware of your concerns. I think you are lucky to have this opportunity and I personally would make an effort and compromises to be able to share the experience and create traditions and memories with my spouse, kids, parents, sib's and their families.

Your sister liked it better when you made other plans. They are just making plans to suit themselves without thinking about you at all. Hurtful and selfish.

I agree the sisters sound very selfish.

Unless....when you join them there typically, do they go out of their way to treat you like a treasured guest?
Since they've had the luxury of being there all summer, do they plan the meals, shop and incorporate you into the daily schedule? Make your life a little easier?

If so, I would feel somewhat differently.
But I also agree with the poster above who suggested you talk with the sisters about the schedule and that you are disappointed they aren't adhering to it.

We went through an identical situation and we ended up bailing. Best thing we ever did to keep sane. That many people in one house defeats the purpose of a vacation, which is to relax and have fun. This is neither. Not only that, teens often bring random friends, which makes it feel even more crowded, especially when they don't acknowledge that you exist. Not only are you sharing a bathroom, you'll also hear every creaking step, every toilet flush, every tv blaring late into the night. You're also competing for kitchen counter space, which can get downright unhygeinic. NOT relaxing At all.

Anonymous wrote:Rent a Don John. Problem solved. Not only that, maybe they'll take the hint.

+1000

PP here. LOVE this idea. Please do this, OP!

Rent a Don John. Problem solved. Not only that, maybe they'll take the hint.

NP here. let me give you some perspective, OP. MIL rents a different beach house every year, one that is always too small for everyone she invites. As if she is hoping half of us will decline? Anyway, every year it is more and more people, with a seemingly smaller house. At this point it is about 20 people.

Every year, Mil also makes assumptions about arrangements, and SILs "get there first" (really, this happens) and claim the best rooms. Which is fine, until about the 20th year of this.

Like your family (and as it happens, mine too), the grandkids have quite and age gap between them. MIL *loves* to point this out; almost as an excuse not to interact with the youngest grandchildren, oddly. I come form a large, warm family, so every year, I am more perplexed by MIL's idea of a vacation. It has become clear that the whole charade is for bragging rights.

All this to ask you if your point in going would be to see your family, or your parents. If it is your family, I would go and set up my own quarters, possibly rent nearby, as insulting as it seems. If it seems too insulting to you, then don't go. Instead, invite your parents to visit you, and have your children enjoy your parents 1:1. That is what I would do.

I think your sisters are being hurtful and selfish, FWIW.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Not the PP but there are 25 cousins in our family. The teens love the preschoolers. We only see them twice a year so it is fun. Not really that odd.

OP just rent a house nearby. If your parents aren't going to enforce the schedule (I do wonder if what your sisters think of this schedule) then really you can't make it happen on your own.

The schedule was the sister with kids idea. She set it up because our other sister drives her crazy at times and she wanted some time where her kids could spend some alone time with my grandparents. Really I am the youngest child I have t had a lot of opportunities to set things up in my family, this might be the most assertive idea I've had with regard to my family. Being un assertive worked fine until I had my own kids and responsibilities.

I think it's time to start asserting yourself and not cancel. Tell her you'd also like your kids to get some alone time with your parents, and also just what you've said here - that another week with three teenagers and one bathroom is rough. Also remind her you already adjusted your vacation plans to accommodate her schedule and you don't think it's fair she's switching it up yet again. Involve your parents in this discussion, and see what happens. Maybe suggest what another PP said - that they spend a last long weekend at the beach and then return home for preseason and give your kids some alone time with your parents. If sister ignores your request, then make other plans.

Why aren't your parents mediating somewhat? It's THEIR house, right? And one of your sisters spend the entire summer there? That would get super old, if I were the homeowner....

Anonymous wrote:Could you postpone your trip to the beach house until Sept - since it sounds like you have the flexibility for a Sept vaca anyway. Sister with teens and sister who is a teacher would both be occupied then. You could explain to your parents that you'd really like one on one time with them and a less hectic setting. Depending how far the house is, you could still do a 3 day weekend in early Aug so your family gets to spend time with your sisters and their families, too.

This is a good idea and what I would aim to do.

Anonymous wrote:Rent a house near by! Not that hard.

It is hard at this point in the summer. I've looked nothing seems to be available until September.

Anonymous wrote:Not the PP but there are 25 cousins in our family. The teens love the preschoolers. We only see them twice a year so it is fun. Not really that odd.

OP just rent a house nearby. If your parents aren't going to enforce the schedule (I do wonder if what your sisters think of this schedule) then really you can't make it happen on your own.

The schedule was the sister with kids idea. She set it up because our other sister drives her crazy at times and she wanted some time where her kids could spend some alone time with my grandparents. Really I am the youngest child I have t had a lot of opportunities to set things up in my family, this might be the most assertive idea I've had with regard to my family. Being un assertive worked fine until I had my own kids and responsibilities.

Rent a house near by! Not that hard.

I'd cancel too. Say you were really looking forward to alone time or time within and dad or
Whatever, and you'll reschedule at a time that's com isn't for everyone. No way woudl I share a bathroom!