Anonymous wrote:WTF. Really OP?

I have a "half" brother who is wholly my brother. No halves about it. You are creating a situation where there are lesser children in your eyes and home.

Agree and this is well said.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The fact that you've never told her they are her brothers is really weird. Dont they call your husband dad? Don't pass your issues to you daughter, and don't assume she's not smart enough to understand.

Yeah, what the hell? I have a half sister and we were raised to call each other sisters and brothers. Reserving the term "brother" for "real" brothers is ridiculous. Way to screw up your kids's relationship, Mom.

+1. When my older step kids were discussing my pregnancy with their mom (DH's ex) they referred to the yet-to-be-born baby as their half brother. My HUSBAND'S EX WIFE said "he's your brother and if he comes and visits my house I'm going be holding and loving that baby too." When they met the baby we said "meet your big brother, meet your big sisters..." We barely get to see my step kids now bc their mom moved them out of state but whenever we see them they are fighting to hold the baby and the girls cry when we have to go. It's such a great relationship to cultivate and you are missing a great opportunity.

Signed-stepmom to three great kids and mom to one baby

WTF. Really OP?

I have a "half" brother who is wholly my brother. No halves about it. You are creating a situation where there are lesser children in your eyes and home.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:one benefit of clarifying "half" is when children have different rules. My stepkids are allowed to watch tv all day, don't need to eat veggies, etc and can do other things my DS isn't allowed to do. And the reason is because they have a different mother, live in a different house, and have different rules. (Though we try as hard as we can to enforce our house rules but are only mildly successful - can't cram fruits and veggies down a teenager's throat.)

It sounds like the reason why your the older kids have different rules at your house is because they are teenagers.

not just that but different ethnicity, religion and expectations academically among other things.

I can't believe I just saw this. Let me get this straight. You have higher academic expectations for your TODDLER than for your stepsons. You refuse to acknowledge that they are siblings to your superior child, who is being raised with higher standards in every way than these other boys. You sound like a real piece of work. I hate that women like you marry men with children and then treat the step kids like crap.

Wow,just wow.

You shouldnt have married a guy who knocked someone else up if you were embarrassed about it.

Oh, and you should have just been discussing everything normally instead of making a huge deal out of all of it. No toddler wonders why siblings look different from each other. It takes a while to figure out family relationships even if they're perfectly straightforward. (My son thought my brother was his grandfather for a while.) It sounds like you have real issues with your husband's first family.

Sample language:

Your brothers will be here this weekend, and we're going to be celebrating Daddy's birthday! It's going to be so much fun!

We're opening presents tomorrow with Larlo and Larlito, then they'll be spending the rest of the day with their Mom and Mom's husband.

When you're big like your brothers, you'll be allowed to watch TV, too. But it's bedtime for you.

Simply explain simply. Tell her the facts. I have found kids want to understand what is going on and don't have a lot of baggage that makes these things into a big fat hairy deal. Natural curiosity and a lack of baggage allows kids to handle the facts of life more easily than the rest of us.

Secrets, omissions, deceptions and the shading of the truth is what messes them up.

Anonymous wrote:The fact that you've never told her they are her brothers is really weird. Dont they call your husband dad? Don't pass your issues to you daughter, and don't assume she's not smart enough to understand.

Yeah, what the hell? I have a half sister and we were raised to call each other sisters and brothers. Reserving the term "brother" for "real" brothers is ridiculous. Way to screw up your kids's relationship, Mom.

The fact that you've never told her they are her brothers is really weird. Dont they call your husband dad? Don't pass your issues to you daughter, and don't assume she's not smart enough to understand.

Wow, you don't acknowledge them as her brothers? I predict lots of couch time for those poor boys who look different from your REAL daughter and whom you purposely exclude from family dynamics. You sound like a fabulous step-mother

Hearing that yourself being referred to as a half-sister/brother is cruel. It essentially saying you are half the person that your sibling is. I encourage you never to differentiate, the kids know the differences and do not need you to highlight them.

My DH has one full brother, two half siblings and seven step-siblings. They are all his brothers and sisters. No time is spent ranking. My DD has 17 cousins. It's awesome.

OP - the boys are your DD's brothers. Go with it.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:one benefit of clarifying "half" is when children have different rules. My stepkids are allowed to watch tv all day, don't need to eat veggies, etc and can do other things my DS isn't allowed to do. And the reason is because they have a different mother, live in a different house, and have different rules. (Though we try as hard as we can to enforce our house rules but are only mildly successful - can't cram fruits and veggies down a teenager's throat.)

It sounds like the reason why your the older kids have different rules at your house is because they are teenagers.

not just that but different ethnicity, religion and expectations academically among other things.

I have found that the person that gets hung up on 'half' is usually the insecure one with the problem. Brother/Sister is easy for any kid to understand. And can always be clarified with 'Oh, my brother lives with his mom during the week.' That is plenty common.

- Big sister with a little sister 20+ years younger.

Anonymous wrote:one benefit of clarifying "half" is when children have different rules. My stepkids are allowed to watch tv all day, don't need to eat veggies, etc and can do other things my DS isn't allowed to do. And the reason is because they have a different mother, live in a different house, and have different rules. (Though we try as hard as we can to enforce our house rules but are only mildly successful - can't cram fruits and veggies down a teenager's throat.)

It sounds like the reason why your the older kids have different rules at your house is because they are teenagers.