Anonymous
Post 07/23/2015 12:07     Subject: Grandma with Cough Helping with Infants - Help me with the drama!

My 2 yr toddler got runny nose from his daycare, passed his cold onto us, the parents and I had a horrible 2 weeks from recovering the cough. It takes that long time (your mother is expected to stay another 2.5 weeks?). Your mom may likely be coughing the rest of her stay. I would ask her to go home and come back when she is well. She may be offended at first but you have to protect your twin. Your mom is an adult and can take care of herself when it needs to be, but you have to be the sole protector for your twin (plus your husband).

Boy, coughing is really tough to shake it off. Ask her to leave soon with invitation to come back later. Your mom needs to understand this. Maybe coming from your husband would work better?
Anonymous
Post 07/23/2015 11:29     Subject: Re:Grandma with Cough Helping with Infants - Help me with the drama!

Anonymous wrote:Btdt with my mother in law and my 31 week old twins. For the first 18 mos, when RSV was a huge risk, NO ONE who had a cough or sniffle could be near them. Thing is even if it's allergies, she is spewing germs when she coughs - and your preemie needs as few germs as possible.


Me too. My twins were MUCH earlier and had a much longer NICU stay (4 months) but during an early visit my dad had a cough and he just wasn't allowed around the babies. It was hard. My mom was fine so we didn't end the visit but he stayed with a nearby relative. I did feel badly but we all would have felt much worse if one of them ended up in hospital.

The good news is that as time passes you can be less worried. Get through this winter without serious illness and then a coughing grandma will be less of a deal. Right now, you are sweet to care so much for her feelings but you need to put the babies first.
Anonymous
Post 07/23/2015 10:54     Subject: Re:Grandma with Cough Helping with Infants - Help me with the drama!

Anonymous wrote:Why are old people always "fine"?


Right?! It makes me crazy.
Anonymous
Post 07/23/2015 10:04     Subject: Grandma with Cough Helping with Infants - Help me with the drama!

Tell her she can only stay if she goes to a doctor and gets checked out to confirm it's not contagious.
Anonymous
Post 07/23/2015 09:44     Subject: Grandma with Cough Helping with Infants - Help me with the drama!

When my 34 weeker twins were a week old, my mom flew in from Europe for two weeks, and had caught a cold on the plane. I made her stay on the first floor until her cough was gone while the babies stayed upstairs. After that, she still wore a mask. I felt terrible but I wasn't going to risk it.
Anonymous
Post 07/23/2015 09:42     Subject: Re:Grandma with Cough Helping with Infants - Help me with the drama!

Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Btdt with my mother in law and my 31 week old twins. For the first 18 mos, when RSV was a huge risk, NO ONE who had a cough or sniffle could be near them. Thing is even if it's allergies, she is spewing germs when she coughs - and your preemie needs as few germs as possible.


Allergies are germs? I've been coughing with allergies the oadt two weeks. Tthere is a huge difference between a cold and allergies. Alsi, the incubation period for a cold has long passed.

OP, get some masks and all of you use one when handling babies.


You spew droplets that have germs when you cough or sneeze, regardless of the source of the cough or sneeze.
Anonymous
Post 07/23/2015 09:41     Subject: Grandma with Cough Helping with Infants - Help me with the drama!

Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
You're a mother now and need to protect your children first. Too bad about your mother and her emotional fragility.
Sorry about your grandmother.



+1

Your children come first. Yes, even if it horribly offends your mother.


+2. Get her out of there. PP raised a good point about the TDAP. Even if not an issue with this cough, she needs it before she comes back.
Anonymous
Post 07/23/2015 09:37     Subject: Re:Grandma with Cough Helping with Infants - Help me with the drama!

Anonymous wrote:Btdt with my mother in law and my 31 week old twins. For the first 18 mos, when RSV was a huge risk, NO ONE who had a cough or sniffle could be near them. Thing is even if it's allergies, she is spewing germs when she coughs - and your preemie needs as few germs as possible.


Allergies are germs? I've been coughing with allergies the oadt two weeks. Tthere is a huge difference between a cold and allergies. Alsi, the incubation period for a cold has long passed.

OP, get some masks and all of you use one when handling babies.
Anonymous
Post 07/23/2015 09:35     Subject: Grandma with Cough Helping with Infants - Help me with the drama!

My toddler had a cough who then passed it to me. Then my newborn got it. For her it developed into croup and bronchiolitis. She was on a nebulizer for a couple of weeks.
Anonymous
Post 07/23/2015 09:27     Subject: Re:Grandma with Cough Helping with Infants - Help me with the drama!

Why are old people always "fine"?
Anonymous
Post 07/23/2015 08:56     Subject: Grandma with Cough Helping with Infants - Help me with the drama!

Can't you ask her to go to urgent care and have the drs listen to her chest? If her chest is clear, its probably allergies, if it isn't - it might be bronchitis and I don't know how old your mom is, but she should want to clear that up so it doesn't turn to pneumonia. Not to scare you, but my MIL died a week after her "I'm fine" cold turned into pneumonia - she was 66 and healthy.
Anonymous
Post 07/23/2015 08:07     Subject: Grandma with Cough Helping with Infants - Help me with the drama!

You are a parent now so your first priority should be your babies.

I know you love your mother and do not want to offend her during this vulnerable time, but you have to consider your children's welfare at this time.

Has she had a whooping cough shot yet? I think if she has had a T-dap shot within the past seven yrs it was already inclusive.
Anonymous
Post 07/23/2015 05:36     Subject: Grandma with Cough Helping with Infants - Help me with the drama!

OP-what's your plan?
Anonymous
Post 07/23/2015 05:09     Subject: Re:Grandma with Cough Helping with Infants - Help me with the drama!

Send her packing.
Anonymous
Post 07/23/2015 02:59     Subject: Grandma with Cough Helping with Infants - Help me with the drama!

Anonymous wrote:
You're a mother now and need to protect your children first. Too bad about your mother and her emotional fragility.
Sorry about your grandmother.



+1

Your children come first. Yes, even if it horribly offends your mother.