Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, we need more information. I think of redshirting as waiting an extra year before sending a kid to kindergarten. You are not talking about redshirting. You are talking about repeating a grade. What are your reasons for considering this?

I posted to question to gain insight on how other parents felt. I personally do not wish to redshirt my son but his father believes its a great opportunity for him to reach his dreams. He's a honor roll student and is developmentally on top of his school work and has great social skills. I am in totally disagreement to do this and can't even begin to fathom the mental stress he will have to endure at such a young tender age of 11. He's goin to 7th grade is doing well. I am afraid the set back my hurt him instead of helping him. Thanks for your response.

If he's already doing well, then he will be bored if he has to repeat a grade. If you read all the articles/books about how to get your kid to excel in life, it is all about challenging your kids and letting them fail, not making things easier for them.

In this case, I think you would be insane to hold him back.

I sincerely doubt it's going to cause this much psychological trauma PP.

But I think it's an ill-conceived idea on your husband's part, OP.

OP - Your husband is nuts AND it really is setting up a very unnatural relationship of expectations for your "young son" to live up to whether to fill his dreams, and more likely Dear Dad's. The public school division will not do this without a definite issue such as failing or if he had a disability specific points. We as you say "redshirted" a daughter twice - hardly for the reasons you are considering. #1 In preschool to give her the chance to continue to develop across all the domains and she was the only child with a cognitive disability in to preschool programs at age 5. #2 Then in first grade, she was strong enough to be in a regular reading group the second year AND I recognized she was being group with a group of boys who were going to have issues later on and wanted to separate her as the young kids could do nothing about their lousy environments. And sure enough two are now in jail.

You must be going to move your son to a private school where this is often done, but again usually if a student is behind or in a weak public school academic program, really fouled out socially in terms of the crowd one runs with or has had perhaps legal run-ins and could use more discipline or a certain new peer group. So yes your husb and can do this, but do not think for a minute that if not his peers, then their parents will be very clear and probably spot on about why dear old Dad is making junior transfer and probably be only too wiling to let your son know, too. A great scenarios for local, needless razzing or worse if the sports accolades at the new school do not follow.

It would be far more fairer to your son to be willing to enroll him in his sport in top summer programs or to give him any outside training that might help him make a DC area travel team in his sport. He is young enough that by doing these things for the middle school years, DAD would see if DS really does have the potential and then at least a benchmark reason for transferring and repeating - not redshirting - and DAD needs to use the term your son will hear at a private school. This is one of the craziest stories I have read on this forum in a long time, and I do realize how competitive sports are......


I would suggest that you and Dad sit down with the counselor at your sons elementary or middle school principal or guidance counselor and share "Dad;s idea" on the reason for the transfer and get an experienced person who knows your son best input. It is just awful because in some sports such as lacrosse middle school students are seriously being recruited by college team!!!! Mom - you may really need to be the buffer now or in the future years and be willing to put the needs of your son over the dreams of DH as the priority. This scenario is a future psychiatrist and psychologist's future patient - of why I am such a failure in my Dad's eyes.

OP, I think you need to schedule a discussion with the school. I suspect they would tell agree that this is not a good idea. I honestly would be surprised to find any decent coach that would recommend this either.
Has your husband always been this obsessed with the sports idea?

Hello! I am the OP, I greatly appreciate all of your comments. To AP I called it redshirting because this is what my husband told me it is. I don't know much about it so thats way I asked for comments and to gain insight on this topic. Thank you all and all points well taken!!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Not in a million years given the situation you described. Your child is doing well academically and socially. The risk that both of those things will suffer by needlessly repeating a grade is too great.

+100 And if he isn't good enough to do his sport without repeating a grade, he isn't good enough.

Fantastic point. The kids who are "dream" level athletes are head and shoulders above the rest - the 8th graders who are starting on the high school varsity team, the 6th graders who easily win middle-school-wide competitions. Having him repeat a grade won't magically make him a fantastic athlete. And for the love, please stop using the term redshirting - he's neither a college freshman nor a 5 year old. He would be repeating 6th grade. Short of a move cross-country, that's going to come with stigma. And for some kids the benefit will clearly outweigh that stigma - but not in your kids case.

Anonymous wrote:Not in a million years given the situation you described. Your child is doing well academically and socially. The risk that both of those things will suffer by needlessly repeating a grade is too great.

+100 And if he isn't good enough to do his sport without repeating a grade, he isn't good enough.

Not in a million years given the situation you described. Your child is doing well academically and socially. The risk that both of those things will suffer by needlessly repeating a grade is too great.