Is this really how their dead mother wanted them to celebrate her birthday? Bickering about $500?

What a damn shame.

also if there's a lawyer on retainer then said lawyer might take 15 minutes to answer the question or just be happy to answer it since he/she will be getting $$$$ on the execution and other actions related to the will. (The latter is more likely if the lawyer's been Betty's lawyer for years and/or is in a smaller town/city.)

If Joe and Bob want to "charge" it against their future proceeds, then do that.

In the end only Joe and Bob pay for it. It may not be 100% kosher but if everyone can agree to it in writing, go down that road before things get even sillier.

Anonymous wrote:JJ should pay for the party. He chose to have it and his brother is not in agreement. Its not that much money to argue over. Your husband sounds cheap.

You have a reading comprehension problem.

This is not a proper estate expenditure, unless the testator specifically provided for it in the will. Also, it's no one's money until the estate is totally probated, and you can believe if a creditor comes out of the woodwork to make a claim against the estate, this expense will be backed out and the executor will be on the hook.

My brother is an extrovert and I could see him doing something similar. I will be the executor of my parent's estate and would not approve such an expenditure. It's tough that your DH is placed in such a difficult position of going against his father's wishes and being a son/nephew instead of a sibling. Why do you think Betty chose your Dh, OP? Is he a lawyer, financially independent, etc.?

Anonymous wrote:The executor is trying to bring people together.

Fighting about $500 is silly.

You are confused. The executor is JJ, OP's husband, son of Joe (party planner), and grandson of Betty. Joe wants to spend his mother's estate's money to have a final party at the house before it is sold.

The executor is trying to bring people together.

Fighting about $500 is silly.

Betty "nominated" JJ as executor in her will. Technically he is not the executor until the will is probated and the probate court officially "appoints" him executor. He shouldn't be making any decisions or spending any estate money until he is court named executor.

And I agree with above posters...how do you have a birthday party for a dead person? And a $500 barbecue should be paid for by the person who is hosting...and this can't be Betty, as she is dead.

"Dad, for fuck's sake, why are you making such a big deal over $500 that you could easily afford and that you will more than he covered for when the estate is settled? You want the party, you didn't consult anyone else about dates. This is your party, host it or cancel it. I am not listening to another word about it."

I'm still trying to understand how you can have a party for a dead person and call it a birthday for them. So I guess I'm in the "estate$$ should obviously not cover this" contingency.

The cost of the party doesn't sound like it should come out of the estate, since presumably her will provided for her burial costs to be paid but not a post-mortum birthday party. In fact, the estate could charge a rental fee to the party hosts for use of Betty's house (ha ha, I don't seriously mean that). Sorry your dh is in such a bad position, op - can he resign from his role as executor?

My sympathies to JJ. This sounds like a grudge match dating back to when the supposed adult brothers were kids. Honestly, if I were JJ, I'd probably pay for the damn party myself just to shut everyone up, but I understand that might be tight for you guys. Sorry, the whole thing sucks and puts JJ in a no-win situation no matter what.