Anonymous
Post 07/17/2015 07:06     Subject: Advice on first year of high school
Anonymous wrote:One thing I have told my daughter, which tends to be the opposite of this uber academic area is:

Have fun. Make mistakes. Keep being a kid. Stop over stressing about grades. Work hard but don't overwork. These are potentially some of the best years of your life but if it is full of pressure, stress, lack of sleep and anxiety - you won't be able to enjoy it.

You only have 18 years old childhood and what seems like a lifetime of boring adulthood. Embrace this time. Be kind, be adventurous, don't worry about figuring yourself out and just live in the moment. It will be over way too quick and the last thing you want to do it regret these 4 years.


Love this!

I posted above (my youngest just graduated from HS); just want to add . . .

find a sherpa -- befriend a generous-spirited parent with a kid who's a grade or two above and who has similar interests to your child's -- this person can provide a wealth of sensible advice;

be a loving, non-anxious presence -- cultivate a calm tone of voice; -- when a problem arises, say to your child, "hmmm that's a problem, what do you want to do about it?" (this I learned at orientation at my older son's college when the dean had the entire assembled parent body repeat this 3X )

also, don't fear the empty nest -- it's kinda fun, actually!
Anonymous
Post 07/17/2015 06:59     Subject: Advice on first year of high school
The party scene is bad everywhere. Beware.
Anonymous
Post 07/17/2015 06:27     Subject: Advice on first year of high school
Anonymous wrote:Be nice nice to the nerds - someday you'll be working for them.
Anonymous
Post 07/16/2015 19:05     Subject: Advice on first year of high school
While you still have to drive them around - cherish it. You'll meet other parents. When you drop off make a point of getting out of your car and introducing yourself. It's just nice. In the car with their friends there will be some special tidbits of conversation - again something to cherish.

Anonymous
Post 07/16/2015 16:29     Subject: Re:Advice on first year of high school
Anonymous wrote:My youngest of 3 just graduated from high school; here's my advice:

-- participating in a fall sport or drama production helps to establish a sense of belonging, even if your child later moves on to a different social circle;

-- finding a solid group of friends can take time -- be supportive of your child and counsel patience;

-- get to know other parents -- it's good to have a baseline;

-- exercise and sleep are important -- for parents as well as teens;

-- if your child's school has study periods during the day, encourage her to use this time productively;

-- the easily distracted child (i.e., 99% of teens) should not have a phone within arm's length while doing homework;

-- don't make high school all about college admissions;

--when something goes wrong (and it will), don't ride to the rescue -- be a coach, not a superhero;

-- spend time hanging out with your daughter -- watch a movie, cook together or play a board game; it's a lie that teens don't want to spend time with their parents -- they just don't want you nagging them about school or college during this time.

Have a good ride, OP -- for better or worse, high school goes by in the blink of an eye.



Agree with all of this, but especially the part about spending time with your kid!! So important.

Someone on here recommended the book 'Hold on to Your Kids' and I thought it made some good points. It's not true that your kid doesn't need you anymore! He/she still does.
Anonymous
Post 07/16/2015 16:13     Subject: Advice on first year of high school
Anonymous wrote:One thing I have told my daughter, which tends to be the opposite of this uber academic area is:

Have fun. Make mistakes. Keep being a kid. Stop over stressing about grades. Work hard but don't overwork. These are potentially some of the best years of your life but if it is full of pressure, stress, lack of sleep and anxiety - you won't be able to enjoy it.

You only have 18 years old childhood and what seems like a lifetime of boring adulthood. Embrace this time. Be kind, be adventurous, don't worry about figuring yourself out and just live in the moment. It will be over way too quick and the last thing you want to do it regret these 4 years.


OP here - this is so true! I have such a hard time with this myself. I'm always to driven that I never stop to smell the roses - thus why it is so traumatic for me that DD is going to HS
Anonymous
Post 07/16/2015 16:12     Subject: Re:Advice on first year of high school
Anonymous wrote:OP, addressing just the fact that homework takes her forever -- did her middle school use a block schedule or did she have every class, every day in MS? A few MSes use block schedules in FCPS. High schools use it and it's great because a kid who is decent at planning ahead and scheduling work a bit can use the block schedule to advantage. Example -- A Monday-Wed-Friday class assigns homework Mon. but it's not due until Wed., for instance, so a good student can learn to gauge what the homework is, how long it should take, what its' weight is, etc. and plan accordingly re: when and how to do it. Advise your daughter to pay attention to the block schedule and she can make it work to help her. My kid says she thinks it really does make planning out her workload much easier.


Middle school was NOT block but HS is. I'm hoping it will be easier, as you say. This is good news!
Anonymous
Post 07/16/2015 16:12     Subject: Advice on first year of high school
Anonymous wrote:OP, Robinson has a great theatre program. My ds is much younger but is in theatre and many of the "big kids/interns" in his program are Robinson drama kids. Nicest group of kids! Good Luck to your dd!


OP here, that's heartening! Thanks for your post!
Anonymous
Post 07/16/2015 14:05     Subject: Advice on first year of high school
One thing I have told my daughter, which tends to be the opposite of this uber academic area is:

Have fun. Make mistakes. Keep being a kid. Stop over stressing about grades. Work hard but don't overwork. These are potentially some of the best years of your life but if it is full of pressure, stress, lack of sleep and anxiety - you won't be able to enjoy it.

You only have 18 years old childhood and what seems like a lifetime of boring adulthood. Embrace this time. Be kind, be adventurous, don't worry about figuring yourself out and just live in the moment. It will be over way too quick and the last thing you want to do it regret these 4 years.
Anonymous
Post 07/16/2015 14:04     Subject: Re:Advice on first year of high school
OP, addressing just the fact that homework takes her forever -- did her middle school use a block schedule or did she have every class, every day in MS? A few MSes use block schedules in FCPS. High schools use it and it's great because a kid who is decent at planning ahead and scheduling work a bit can use the block schedule to advantage. Example -- A Monday-Wed-Friday class assigns homework Mon. but it's not due until Wed., for instance, so a good student can learn to gauge what the homework is, how long it should take, what its' weight is, etc. and plan accordingly re: when and how to do it. Advise your daughter to pay attention to the block schedule and she can make it work to help her. My kid says she thinks it really does make planning out her workload much easier.
Anonymous
Post 07/16/2015 13:43     Subject: Advice on first year of high school
OP, Robinson has a great theatre program. My ds is much younger but is in theatre and many of the "big kids/interns" in his program are Robinson drama kids. Nicest group of kids! Good Luck to your dd!
Anonymous
Post 07/16/2015 13:33     Subject: Re:Advice on first year of high school
OP again - forgot to respond to the "college goals" question. DD absolutely plans to attend college. Not planning on an ivy or anything like that, but she'll get in a good school - she's smart and a hard worker. Any academic advice is appreciated as well!
Anonymous
Post 07/16/2015 13:31     Subject: Re:Advice on first year of high school
Anonymous wrote:My youngest of 3 just graduated from high school; here's my advice:

-- participating in a fall sport or drama production helps to establish a sense of belonging, even if your child later moves on to a different social circle;

-- finding a solid group of friends can take time -- be supportive of your child and counsel patience;

-- get to know other parents -- it's good to have a baseline;

-- exercise and sleep are important -- for parents as well as teens;

-- if your child's school has study periods during the day, encourage her to use this time productively;

-- the easily distracted child (i.e., 99% of teens) should not have a phone within arm's length while doing homework;

-- don't make high school all about college admissions;

--when something goes wrong (and it will), don't ride to the rescue -- be a coach, not a superhero;

-- spend time hanging out with your daughter -- watch a movie, cook together or play a board game; it's a lie that teens don't want to spend time with their parents -- they just don't want you nagging them about school or college during this time.

Have a good ride, OP -- for better or worse, high school goes by in the blink of an eye.



OP here, your post made me tear up (esp. the blink of an eye part - because that's how I feel her childhood went and I can't believe I only have 4 more years with her at home!). This all sounds like good, solid advice, and I appreciate your very thoughtful response. My daughter is in drama - so I'm hoping it's a good school with cool kids in drama that are supportive of new kids and aren't already all paired off in their friend groups. You are so right about the phone! So distracting and so much time wasted!!!

To other posters, thanks for you're responses as well. To the PP that asked, DD is in FCPS. She's going to Robinson next year and was previously in a different pyramid, so she only knows one or two kids going there.

Would love more advice!
Anonymous
Post 07/16/2015 06:55     Subject: Re:Advice on first year of high school
My youngest of 3 just graduated from high school; here's my advice:

-- participating in a fall sport or drama production helps to establish a sense of belonging, even if your child later moves on to a different social circle;

-- finding a solid group of friends can take time -- be supportive of your child and counsel patience;

-- get to know other parents -- it's good to have a baseline;

-- exercise and sleep are important -- for parents as well as teens;

-- if your child's school has study periods during the day, encourage her to use this time productively;

-- the easily distracted child (i.e., 99% of teens) should not have a phone within arm's length while doing homework;

-- don't make high school all about college admissions;

--when something goes wrong (and it will), don't ride to the rescue -- be a coach, not a superhero;

-- spend time hanging out with your daughter -- watch a movie, cook together or play a board game; it's a lie that teens don't want to spend time with their parents -- they just don't want you nagging them about school or college during this time.

Have a good ride, OP -- for better or worse, high school goes by in the blink of an eye.

Anonymous
Post 07/15/2015 22:49     Subject: Advice on first year of high school
OP - which school system? and what kind of student is she and what is her college goals?