Yeah I had an ex who couldn't get past me sleeping with 5 men prior to him. Asked if I went through a low self-esteem phase. Meanwhile his number (I never asked) kept changing.lol He was a real winner. Since then, I've been unwilling to answer, though I don't know if I've been seriously asked since.

Anonymous wrote:I used to be honest about my number (still in the single digits at age 40 and never married). But then I dated a guy who assumed that all women are lying whores who've slept with 5x as many people as they admit to. So now I think I should just lie, since we're all presumed to be filthy dishonest sluts anyway.

Damn. Sounds like you made a lucky escape getting away from that one... He clearly has some very serious issues... Scary.

I used to be honest about my number (still in the single digits at age 40 and never married). But then I dated a guy who assumed that all women are lying whores who've slept with 5x as many people as they admit to. So now I think I should just lie, since we're all presumed to be filthy dishonest sluts anyway.

Eh. My DH knows my number but not that one of those was a one night stand. He asked me when we were first dating if I'd ever had one and it was clear he wanted me to say no...so I did. Haven't felt the need to revisit that. I actually don't even know my number off the top of my head, but it's around 14 (plus/minus 1-2). His is something around 6? Also give or take.

Basically, why would he or I care? We are in a loving, trusting, monogamous relationship where former partners are a non-issue. We met in our 30s after we'd both had short and long term relationships. These details are water under the bridge; what counts is our every day together.

My spouse and I spent a number of fun, boozy dates telling all our old hookup stories to each other early on in the relationship. Why on earth would anyone bother lying about their 'number'?

Fucking uptight east-coasters, y'all need to learn how to communicate openly.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How do people have such low numbers? Where did you grow up? Alaska? Wyoming? The dakotas?

Nothing to do in Alaska during the winter but fuck, fuck, and fuck.

With the same person though

Anonymous wrote:Wouldn't matter to me unless the number was high, she had sex freely with others, then once we got married she started making me jump through a bunch of hoops before we could have sex.

You sound like a real winner. Sometimes life gets in the way of sex and your sex drive decreases. Just because a women had an active sex life in her youth ("gave it away freely" you'd say) doesn't mean she owes it to anyone to stay permanently horny forever.

Anonymous wrote:How do people have such low numbers? Where did you grow up? Alaska? Wyoming? The dakotas?

Nothing to do in Alaska during the winter but fuck, fuck, and fuck.

How do people have such low numbers? Where did you grow up? Alaska? Wyoming? The dakotas?

I told him it was 3 but it was really 300. Now I have that nice rock on my finger and it's too late!!! MUAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Anonymous wrote:We discussed it early on...25+ years ago. At this point who cares.

Same here

Anonymous wrote:I'm really surprised by how many of you have never just gotten it out there. My number is 5, including DH. DH's is 3, including me. I think he expected mine to be closer to two, but we got it out there, and there is no mystery around what our numbers are or why they are what they are.

It's different when you get married in your early to mid 20s vs. your late 30s to early 40s

My H is my 8th or so and he won't disclose his number.

Anonymous wrote:I never discussed this with my wife. She knows I was not a virgin, and knows of 3 or 4 that I slept with...I know of 3 that she slept with but the number may be higher....

The only one that was a problem was the one I found out about 3 years ago -- the event occurred when we were seriously dating (a family wedding that I was not invited too)...apparently she went back with a band member....

Nifty tidbit to include in the Christmas newsletter.

Anonymous wrote:My wife has never asked me, probably because her number is high and doesn't want me to know - LOL. Maybe this is how women think vs. men, but if she has any insecurities it is more about a former girlfriend she knows I loved deeply. On that, she has asked a lot of questions.

I think that's probably got something to do with it. Men believe that women cannot simply have casual sex - that we always get emotionally entangled - so having a large number of partners indicates something about emotional stability. Women believe that men can have casual sex more easily than a stable relationship and are then intimidated by the stable relationships.

I did not fall in love 32 times. I fell in love 5 or 6 times and had sex with 32 people. My husband feels similarly.

-- PP with 32 married to Mr. 50+