Anonymous
Post 07/10/2015 13:35     Subject: Family Member Putting Us in Awkard Position
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I actually think that giving her $50 for a $6000 surgery is more of a snub than giving nothing at all. If she asks you point blank, just tell her you're really sorry about her cat's illness but that you're not able to contribute to surgery. Do not provide more details.


I kind of agree, but she hadn't told us that it was $6000 when we gave her the money. She said it was "expensive." I was thinking along the lines of $500, maybe $1000. So, we gave her the $50. She later told us that it was $6000. At this point, she's done it. She spent her savings on it and put the rest on a credit card. The only thing I can see doing at this point is to give her an interest free loan for the amount on her credit card. (I don't even know how much that is.)


Why? Why can't you just say, "Julie, I'm really sorry about fluffy, but we can't contribute any more to her surgery."
Anonymous
Post 07/10/2015 13:34     Subject: Family Member Putting Us in Awkard Position
Anonymous wrote:I would have no problem saying no. If they have no problem putting me in an awkward situation then I have no problem not giving them what they want. They don't care about me and my feelings so why should I care about saying no.


The feelings of a disabled relative who lives alone and has only a pet for companionship might be beyond your ken, I guess.
Anonymous
Post 07/10/2015 13:32     Subject: Family Member Putting Us in Awkard Position
I would have no problem saying no. If they have no problem putting me in an awkward situation then I have no problem not giving them what they want. They don't care about me and my feelings so why should I care about saying no.
Anonymous
Post 07/10/2015 13:28     Subject: Family Member Putting Us in Awkard Position
I will buy a sick cat if you give me 6000
Anonymous
Post 07/10/2015 13:28     Subject: Family Member Putting Us in Awkard Position
Anonymous wrote:I actually think that giving her $50 for a $6000 surgery is more of a snub than giving nothing at all. If she asks you point blank, just tell her you're really sorry about her cat's illness but that you're not able to contribute to surgery. Do not provide more details.


I kind of agree, but she hadn't told us that it was $6000 when we gave her the money. She said it was "expensive." I was thinking along the lines of $500, maybe $1000. So, we gave her the $50. She later told us that it was $6000. At this point, she's done it. She spent her savings on it and put the rest on a credit card. The only thing I can see doing at this point is to give her an interest free loan for the amount on her credit card. (I don't even know how much that is.)
Anonymous
Post 07/10/2015 13:26     Subject: Family Member Putting Us in Awkard Position
You could give another $100 if that would make you feel better or just say I'm sorry but no. If it's your husband's sister and he says to ignore the request, you shouldn't feel bad, especially when you acknowledge you wouldn't even spend that on your own pets.
Anonymous
Post 07/10/2015 13:25     Subject: Family Member Putting Us in Awkard Position
Anonymous wrote:You can build a robot cat for that amount and it will never die or get sick


Anonymous
Post 07/10/2015 13:24     Subject: Family Member Putting Us in Awkard Position
Anonymous wrote:Agree that $50 is cheap. I would give that and I don't even know her!


Really? send me $50 then.
Anonymous
Post 07/10/2015 13:23     Subject: Family Member Putting Us in Awkard Position
You can build a robot cat for that amount and it will never die or get sick
Anonymous
Post 07/10/2015 13:22     Subject: Family Member Putting Us in Awkard Position
Direct her to Care Credit. Most vets offer a payment plan too. I don't know why she'd expect anyone else to pay for surgery.
Anonymous
Post 07/10/2015 13:21     Subject: Family Member Putting Us in Awkard Position
If she doesn't raise enough for the surgery what will she do with the money?
Anonymous
Post 07/10/2015 13:15     Subject: Family Member Putting Us in Awkard Position
No. A cat that needs a $6000 surgery is not going to be magically better afterwards. It will continue to need expensive care until it dies. I would continue to act clueless and if asked point blank, say no more directly.
Anonymous
Post 07/10/2015 12:52     Subject: Family Member Putting Us in Awkard Position
Anonymous wrote:You can buy 20 cats, put it down and get another.


Why would you even comment? Have some compassion, you sound horrible.
Anonymous
Post 07/10/2015 12:50     Subject: Family Member Putting Us in Awkard Position
You can buy 20 cats, put it down and get another.
Anonymous
Post 07/10/2015 12:50     Subject: Family Member Putting Us in Awkard Position
Agree that $50 is cheap. I would give that and I don't even know her!