Anonymous
Post 07/03/2015 01:27     Subject: Cousin won't come to my wedding because it's a "sin"
Anonymous wrote:My cousin is engaged and so am I. She is very conservative, religious, and is openly against same sex marriage.

I asked her if she would still attend my wedding to my partner. I am respecting her loving and committed relationship and I was hoping she could do the same for me. She said she could not attend because it goes against her beliefs.

What would you do? I don't want to create any family drama but going to her wedding when she refuses to go to mine makes me feel sick.


Don't go! If it is that upsetting why go? Who cares what anyone thinks?
Anonymous
Post 07/03/2015 01:25     Subject: Cousin won't come to my wedding because it's a "sin"
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:She doesn't condone your lifestyle and she doesnt want to bear witness/support it by atrending your wedding.. Let it go and accept to agree to disagree.


I'm not OP. Lifestyle is an offensive term and has been for over a decade.


Give me a break. Eye roll
Anonymous
Post 07/03/2015 00:03     Subject: Cousin won't come to my wedding because it's a "sin"
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:She doesn't condone your lifestyle and she doesnt want to bear witness/support it by atrending your wedding.. Let it go and accept to agree to disagree.


I'm not OP. Lifestyle is an offensive term and has been for over a decade.


Not PP but seriously?.it is? Why?


From glaad.org

Offensive: "gay lifestyle" or "homosexual lifestyle"
Preferred: "gay lives," "gay and lesbian lives"
There is no single lesbian, gay or bisexual lifestyle. Lesbians, gay men and bisexuals are diverse in the ways they lead their lives. The phrase "gay lifestyle" is used to denigrate lesbians, gay men, and bisexuals suggesting that their orientation is a choice and therefore can and should be "cured" (See AP & New York Times Style).


Ugh there needs to be a learning annex to keep up with all this ever changing pc vocabulary.
Anonymous
Post 07/02/2015 23:52     Subject: Cousin won't come to my wedding because it's a "sin"
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:She doesn't condone your lifestyle and she doesnt want to bear witness/support it by atrending your wedding.. Let it go and accept to agree to disagree.


I'm not OP. Lifestyle is an offensive term and has been for over a decade.


Not PP but seriously?.it is? Why?


From glaad.org

Offensive: "gay lifestyle" or "homosexual lifestyle"
Preferred: "gay lives," "gay and lesbian lives"
There is no single lesbian, gay or bisexual lifestyle. Lesbians, gay men and bisexuals are diverse in the ways they lead their lives. The phrase "gay lifestyle" is used to denigrate lesbians, gay men, and bisexuals suggesting that their orientation is a choice and therefore can and should be "cured" (See AP & New York Times Style).
Anonymous
Post 07/02/2015 23:51     Subject: Cousin won't come to my wedding because it's a "sin"
OP I commented earlier about there being more cake for you I wanted to add that you should send a gift. Be gracious, like my grandma always said - a horse only needs one ass. Sounds like your cousin has that covered.
Anonymous
Post 07/02/2015 23:49     Subject: Cousin won't come to my wedding because it's a "sin"
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:She doesn't condone your lifestyle and she doesnt want to bear witness/support it by atrending your wedding.. Let it go and accept to agree to disagree.


I'm not OP. Lifestyle is an offensive term and has been for over a decade.


Not PP but seriously?.it is? Why?
Anonymous
Post 07/02/2015 23:47     Subject: Cousin won't come to my wedding because it's a "sin"
Anonymous wrote:Thanks for all the supportive replies!

I think I knew the answer all along. I will decline and keep my thoughts to myself. After all, I have so many family members who have been awesome & supportive.

You're right -- more cake for me!


Congrats on your wedding. OP. You are handling this the right way. (Do not send a gift, either.)
Anonymous
Post 07/02/2015 23:41     Subject: Cousin won't come to my wedding because it's a "sin"
I'd be done with her, completely.
Anonymous
Post 07/02/2015 23:23     Subject: Re:Cousin won't come to my wedding because it's a "sin"
She's a jerk, but she has a belief that she's sticking by. But I don't see what that means that you can't go to her wedding. What happened to taking the higher road? Is it going to be better that you aren't there for her? Will that make it seem as if you are condoning her feelings towards same-sex marriage? Or can you do what is good for you and have a wonderful wedding, a fulfilling marriage and still just wish her well on her wedding day. Be a bigger person. (But I get why it's totally insulting and hurtful.)
Anonymous
Post 07/02/2015 23:19     Subject: Cousin won't come to my wedding because it's a "sin"
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Don't make it family drama. If you do not feel comfortable attending her wedding, then decline and send a gift. It isn't about spite (is it?), but not wanting to attend an event where you feel disrespected. Is your fiancée invited?

Honestly, people in your family will know what's what. Don't gossip or bitch to other family members (many of whom will feel caught in the middle). Just concentrate on your own marriage.

Sorry this kind of crap is still happening. But you can't change everyone overnight.


No, do not send a gift.


Definitely do not send a fucking gift.
Anonymous
Post 07/02/2015 23:19     Subject: Cousin won't come to my wedding because it's a "sin"
Anonymous wrote:She doesn't condone your lifestyle and she doesnt want to bear witness/support it by atrending your wedding.. Let it go and accept to agree to disagree.


I'm not OP. Lifestyle is an offensive term and has been for over a decade.
Anonymous
Post 07/02/2015 23:17     Subject: Cousin won't come to my wedding because it's a "sin"
Anonymous wrote:She doesn't go to yours, and you don't go to hers. Problem solved. No drama. You just don't go.


This is what I'd do. But I understand your hurt, OP. I'm sorry.
Anonymous
Post 07/02/2015 23:16     Subject: Cousin won't come to my wedding because it's a "sin"
There is no need for drama. She has strong beliefs and you should respect that in any person. Just decline her invitation to you with the rsvp and leave it at that.
Anonymous
Post 07/02/2015 23:11     Subject: Cousin won't come to my wedding because it's a "sin"
She doesn't condone your lifestyle and she doesnt want to bear witness/support it by atrending your wedding.. Let it go and accept to agree to disagree.
Anonymous
Post 07/02/2015 23:06     Subject: Cousin won't come to my wedding because it's a "sin"
Invite me instead. I haven't attended a wedding in 10+ years! Lol

Just echoing what others said, enjoy your day (and cake!) and don't even think about it. I also wouldn't go to her wedding.